


Kangaroo Man

by rockondean



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Medical Procedures, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Pregnant Jensen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:38:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 86,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7743688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockondean/pseuds/rockondean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is an IVF doctor and Jared is his colleague.  Jensen decides to try an experimental pregnancy and experiments on himself to see if he can get himself pregnant and lead the way for IVF treatments for women and possibly men in the future.  He doesn’t count on getting involved with Jared along the way.<br/>Author’s notes: All this science is made up, so don’t read too much into it!  In this AU, Men do not get pregnant!<br/>Warnings: Mpreg, porny parts(mild!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dr Jensen Ackles was a highly successful IVF doctor and had his own practice. He treated a couple of hundred women every year and his rates in getting them pregnant successfully was nearly 70% and couples desperate for children came from far and wide to seek his help and expertise.

Jensen had just finished an implantation on a couple. “Okay, Mary, I’d like to see you back here in 2 weeks for a pregnancy test to see if those embryos have implanted. Just take it easy as usual for the next week or so. I have a good feeling this time, second time lucky, okay?”.

“Thank you Dr Ackles” the nervous woman said as the nurse finished up and removed the drapes from the patient.

Jensen removed his gloves, flicking them into the trash can and grabbed his white coat from the door hook and shrugged it back on over his blue scrubs. He always prided himself in the highest level of professionalism. He sauntered over to the desk and called out the next name on the chart. It was a couple that he had been treating for a while now, and he had to go through the devastation with them every time they had a negative pregnancy test. This was going to be their 5th and final time.

“Mrs James please?” Jensen sung out and watched his patient and her husbands nervous faces as they stood up out of their seats. He felt as anxious as they looked. He always developed a special bond with his patients. “Come on through guys” he said as he ushered them into another one of the examining rooms. “How are you feeling?”.

Mrs James gripped her husband’s hands with dear life. “This is our last hope…”.

Jensen didn’t want to prolong the agony for them any longer than necessary and handed over a specimen cup to his patient. “You know the drill…”.

The hopeful expectant mother came back a couple of minutes later with the urine sample and set it down on the desk.

“Okay guys, you know the drill by now. If this turns pink, then it’s positive….” Jensen said…

“….and if it doesn’t, then…..I know” Mrs James said sadly as she closed her eyes.

“Okay, here goes” Dr Ackles said as he dropped the solution into the sample.

It took only a few seconds for the solution to turn a wonderful shade of pink.

“Congratulations guys, we’re going to be having a baby…” Jensen said happily. This was always a happy moment for him. “I’ll call you back in 2 weeks and we’ll do a scan, it’s a bit too early yet to see anything. So in the meantime, just take it easy” he said as he gave the couple some more information before leaving them.

He walked up to the front desk, where Alona, one of the nurses were sat. “Hey Jensen!”.

“Alona….” Jensen said casually. “Where’s my next appointment? Mrs Jones?”.

The blonde nurses’ face fell as she handed over a pile of notes. “She no longer needs the appointment. She had an ectopic pregnancy, it went too far and she’s had to have a hysterectomy”.

Jensen’s earlier elation with Mrs James and her husband subsided and he sighed remorsefully. “Damn….damn it!”. It was so frustrating. All of his expertise, and in situations like this, there was no longer anything he could do. Life was so unfair sometimes. “I’ll be in my office, let me know when my next appointment arrives” he said as he wandered into his office. His thoughts turned to the woman he had treated and successfully got pregnant, who was now left childless and without any hope of carrying a child of her own ever again. If only there was a way that women without a womb could carry a baby. If would be amazing and would change many people’s lives and be a massive breakthrough in science. In fact, if it worked on women, then there would no reason why it couldn’t work on men. But no one in their right mind would volunteer to be experimented on and the FDA would never approve it in a million years. Nonetheless, it was a nice thought.

“Dr Ackles? Your next patient is here” Alona said as she peered through the door to his office.

“Okay, on my way” Jensen said as he got up from his seat and headed out.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jensen woke up suddenly, he found himself on the couch. He had fallen asleep watching some documentary on gastric band surgery and how this little pouch could help people lose weight. A pouch that could expand or deflate according to the patient’s needs. Such a simple concept. He dozed off again, dreaming of pouches and babies….and then kangaroos.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jensen’s clinic had recently expanded, and due to the growing amount of successful pregnancies and increased workload, he had employed someone else to assist him. Dr Jared Padalecki was young, but an experienced OB/GYN physician. Oh, and very cute too. They had been working alongside each other for a few months now and got on very well.

“Which one of you is seeing Mrs Taylor for her 12 week scan today?” Alona said casually as she held up the wad of notes and waved them between the two physicians.

Jared smiled and took the notes. “I’ll take this one if you like Jensen. You’re going to be tied up with the implantation in exam room two”.

“That would be great, thank you Jared” Jensen said, giving his assistant a dashing smile.

The younger man returned the sentiment with an equally dashing smile. “No worries, that’s what I’m here for….”.

Jensen watched the younger man walk away, unknowingly staring at his ass as he sauntered off to exam two with his patient.

Alona caught the senior physician staring and raised an eyebrow. “Hhm, cute, right? And I think that he’s on your team if you know what I mean!”.

“What? No, no way. How do you know?” Jensen said to the petite blonde.

“Because I do…” Alona said simply put with a smirk on her face. “God is cruel, making an ass that damn cute and that isn’t meant for a woman….mean…”.

“You’re terrible, you know that?” Jensen said as he held out his hand for the next patient’s folder.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was trying to prepare for a seminar he had to give in a week’s time on ectopic pregnancies. His mind went back to the thought of pouches and kangaroos he had dreamt about a few weeks ago. He was working on the possibility of creating a uterus with a flap of skin, an artificial pouch that could be implanted into a woman, and then the embryo could grow in the pouch. It wasn’t entirely beyond the realms of possibility. There was something niggling in the back of his mind that the potential was there but no-one would ever allow them to be experimented on. A lot more research needed to be done on this and he would lose his licence and exceptional reputation and success if he was to even considerate experimentation. Nonetheless, as he tried to prepare his seminar, his mind kept drifting back to the thought. The rules would be different if he tried it on himself? It would be like a woman with no uterus, he fit the bill. It wouldn’t have to go very far, just a few weeks, just to see if it was possible and no-one would ever have to find out about it.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was very privileged to have his own lab in his clinic. For the next few weeks he had worked on culturing some cells from a small skin graft he had taken from his own thigh. He had injected the cells with growth hormones and had encouraged it to grow and remould into a small circular shape which resembled a sac. The components of the sac contains massive amounts of elastine which would be able to expand. It was almost perfect. He had gone over several theories on how to implant the pouch into his own body without the use of major surgery which he wouldn’t be able to carry out by himself. He had scoured the internet and found an instrument, a fine bore needle, only slightly larger than he used for his implantations which would be able to house the pouch so he could inject it into his body. Using his own skin cells would mean less of a chance of his own body from rejecting the pouch. Now all he had to do, was to prepare his own body.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was all part of his job, studying hormone levels, monitoring blood work, finding the optimal levels for his patient before implantation. He had the resources, labs, machines and the knowledge and a willing participant. He opened up a blank notebook and scribbled something down on a blank page at the front. 

He thought for a second. He couldn’t use his own name. An idea came to him.

PATIENT;

MS JEN ROSS

If anyone got hold of this then the chances are that it wouldn’t rouse any suspicion. The door to his office knocked. He closed the notebook and uttered a ‘come in’.

Jared entered with a beaming smile on his face. “Hey, Dr Ackles”.

Jensen returned the smile. “I think you can call me Jensen now”.

“Okay, Jensen….I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your seminar last month on ectopic pregnancies. The artificial uterus idea? I think it could work. I think the way the research is going, one day we’ll be able to make a difference to this. Very mind blowing stuff. I was er….wondering if you would like to go out for a drink sometime, get to know my boss a bit better….go through some stuff with you, discuss some cases….I mean, if that doesn’t breach any rules” the younger man said nervously as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

“Well, I’ll just check with the boss….and he says that it’s okay” Jensen said quirking an eyebrow.

“Tonight maybe?” Jared offered.

“Tonight it is” Jensen confirmed. He watched his assistant leave, checking out his ass again, thinking about what Alona had said to him.

Without a second thought, he opened up his notebook again and continued.

OPTIMAL HORMONE LEVELS NEED TO BE ACHIEVED BEFORE THE POUCH CAN BE IMPLANTED.

DAY 1

BASELINE BLOOD LEVELS;

OESTROGEN INJECTED; 100m/l???

PROGESTERONE INJECTED; 150m/l???

He left these figures blank, to be filled in at a later date. He grabbed a tourniquet from one of the drawers and tightened it around his arm and made a fist while he grabbed a needle and a blood collecting tube from the drawer. He winced as the needle went in. If he was seriously going to go ahead with this, then he would need to get used to needles and procedures. Once he collected the blood, he marked the vial with his pseudoname for his patient and put it with the others to be collected for analysis in the morning.

Next, he took his blood pressure and marked it down in his book.

BASELINE BLOOD PRESSURE; 123/69

 

To keep the momentum going, he went into the medical refrigeration unit and pulled out a couple of vials of hormones. Taking a deep breath, he lifted up his shirt and injected the syringes into his abdomen and noted the doses in his book. “Work your magic….” he said to himself as he discarded the empties into the clinical waste can.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I just got fed of seeing couples going through heartache and loss, you know and decided to do something to help, so I worked in a fertility clinic for a few years, and then opened up my own practice. I’m lucky for the funding that I had to get things going. And in the years I’ve been doing this, I’ve helped nearly 126 women get pregnant and out of those, 97 have had successful pregnancies and have given birth” Jensen said, obviously proud of his achievements but not in a gloating way or bragging about it.

“Wow, that makes the 200 odd babies that I’ve delivered seem insignificant in some way. 60 of those being C-sections and out of those, 42 were emergency ones. But hey, I’m still young and gaining experience” Jared said. “So I’m delighted to get on board with you Dr Ack- Jensen”. He raised his glass of wine in the air and chinked it with the other man. “To the future…”.

“Yeah, I think that this is going to be a great partnership. Anyway, I read your resume and hired you, but I don’t want to talk about work. I want to know more about you. I mean you’ve been working here for nearly 5 months but I don’t know anything about you. I know everything about Alona…I mean, I don’t ask, she volunteers information. A bit too much sometimes though….” Jensen said, turning his nose up at a memory.

“Yeah, I get that impression, that girl is feisty, hey? Well…..er, I dunno, let’s see, I’m 30, Texas born and bred, wanted the high flying life, moved to LA 10 years ago, been here ever since…my career has always kinda come first, you know? I guess my only hobbies so far have been burying my head in textbooks…” Jared said.

Jensen nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah, definitely. I’ve got a guitar and I like to mess around with that when I’ve got some spare time. But hey, Texas? That’s pretty cool. I’m afraid I’m LA born and bred and never left the city. I’m a sucker for the hard and fast city life. Don’t know how I’d cope in the country. It’s a shame your Texas accent has left you”.

Jared smiled. “Sometimes” he said, letting his Texas drawl come through as much as he could.

This made Jensen smile and bite down his on lip. He really hoped that Alona was right about Jared being on his team so to speak. His pager went off and he pulled it off his buckle to look at it. “It’s the clinic. I better go”.

“Do you need me to come in too?” Jared offered as he threw down a wad of money on the table.

Jensen threw down another pile of dollars. “No, it’s okay, no point in us both being up all night. Go home and get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning…”.

“Okay” Jared said, trying not to sound too disappointed. “I enjoyed tonight…I hope… we can do this again soon….you know….if I’m reading the signs correctly….”.

“Yeah….that would be good…..and the signs are correct” Jensen said as he smiled. Their moment was interrupted by Jensen’s pager going off again. “Damn it….I’m coming. I’ll see you around…..cowboy” he added playfully.

Jared smiled shyly.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jensen opened up the envelope labelled MS J ROSS. It was the second lot of blood tests he had done. Scanning down the page he looked at the hormone levels in his blood. It was no where near enough to even begin proceedings. He didn’t feel disheartened, he had started with very low levels because this was all unknown and he didn’t want to inject himself with massive amounts straight off. With women, they already had female hormones in their bodies naturally and only needed top ups, but he had none and had to start completely from scratch. After documenting the results in his journal, he grabbed a couple more vials, deciding to inject more frequently. He lifted up his shirt, eyeing up the old marks of the previous injections and choosing a fresh bit of flesh in which to inject. As he was injecting the second vial into himself, someone knocked on the door and then immediately opened it. It was Alona.

“Oh crap, I’m sorry Jensen” the blonde said.

“It’s fine” Jensen said embarrassedly as he quickly pulled his shirt back down and discarded the vial.

“Are you okay?” Alona asked, her shame at walking in on her boss, turning to concern.

“Yeah, vitamin B-12 injections that’s all. I’m a little anaemic” Jensen lied.

“I’m a pretty good nurse you know and I’m excellent at giving shots. So if you need someone to give them to you….you know where I am. Anyway, there’s a delivery that I need you to sign for” Alona said. “I think it’s the new ultrasound machine that you ordered and then the usual vials and needles and stuff”.

“Okay, let me just wash my hands and I’ll be out in two shakes” Jensen said. “And next time, remember to knock properly, I could have been with a patient, it doesn’t look good you know…”.

Alona winced. “Yeah, I’m sorry Jensen” she said leaving the room.

Grabbing his notebook he quickly wrote down the dosages of Progesterone and Oestrogen he had just injected and then headed out to sign for the delivery.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“I hear your new toy has arrived!” Jared said casually to his boss as he went up to the front desk to file away the chart in his hand.

“Yeah!” Jensen was staring at the box, trying to decide if he was strong enough to pick up the thing without doing himself an injury. His colleague seemed to sense his dilemma.

“Do you need a hand with that?” Jared asked.

“Yeah, that might be an idea. I don’t think it’s too heavy, but, you know I quite like the discs in my back where they are” the older man said as he wrapped his hands around one side of the box and watched as Jared did the same, taking in his large but carefully sculptured hands. “Ready?”.

Jared nodded his head. “Yep, on three, one, two, three” he said as they lifted the box and carried it into Jensen’s office before putting it down on the floor at the same time, their hands inadvertently brushing each other’s.

Jensen smiled at the electric shock that went through him at the touch. “So, er…I’m meant to be able to set this up fairly easily I‘m told?”.

“3D right?” Jared asked.

Nodding his head, the older man grabbed a pair of scissors from his pocket and began to tear through the sticky tape holding the box sealed together. “This is going to be something amazing we can offer our patients. Seeing their babies up close and personal like this before they are even born. I think we can add a 4th dimension to this, video and sound too”.

“Impressive. It can’t be that hard to get going, right? Surely it’s all good to go?” Jared said as he helped tear off the cardboard and then the plastic cellophane wrapping to unveil a brand new Ultrasound machine. Wow!”.

“Yeah! We just need a willing victim to test it out on” Jensen said excitedly.

Jared nodded his head. “Well, I believe we have Mr and Mrs Jonas coming in later on for a 28 week check up. I’m sure she wouldn’t turn down a chance to see her baby again. We’ll just need to hook up the probes to here, do the calibrations and we’re good to go”.

Jensen looked impressed. “You understand this machine?”.

“Yeah, I used one in the last clinic I worked at. Not this model exactly, but very similar, the buttons and functions on the keypad seem to look the same, so it shouldn’t be too hard” the younger man said.

“Well, once I find a patient, I’ll give you a shout and you can give me a demonstration and a quick lesson Dr Padalecki” Jensen said, loving the way the name rolled off his lips.

“Your implantation is ready in Exam room 2 Jensen” Alona said as she appeared through the door.

“Okay, I’m coming, thanks” Jensen said as he adjusted his white coat. “Feel free to play around with this and get it going. Just….you know….don’t break it” he added playfully at the end.

Jared gave a salute and laughed. “No worries. But, seeing as it’s brand new, it’s covered under warranty, right?” he said, trying for the serious look.

Jensen broke the other’s man face and cracked a smile, making Jared smile too. “I didn’t tick that box when I ordered it…” he winked as he left the room.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen had carried on with the hormone injections for the next couple of weeks. The last blood test a week ago, showed that the levels still weren’t satisfactory. He was sat at the front desk, typing up some notes on the computer. He winced at the screen as a headache began to plague him. He felt frustrated and uptight today for some reason. He kept making typing errors on the computer and it was bugging the hell out of him “Damn it!”.

Alona looked over at her boss. “You okay?”.

“Yeah fine!” Jensen snapped back, something that was very unusual for him and out of character. “This stupid piece of crap…aaah!”.

“What’s wrong?” the blonde asked as she studied her boss.

“Nothing! God….I need a break…I need chocolate or something…something sweet, before I kill this piece of crap” Jensen said, shocking himself at his own behaviour and words.

“You sound like me when I’ve got PMT!” Alona laughed. “You guys have no idea!”.

Jensen looked puzzled. “What? PMT?”.

“It was a joke Jensen. It’s just I’ve never heard you kept snap at anything…. Or crave anything sweet. Relax. I’ll type up the notes for you if you like” the nurse said as she crouched over the computer.

“Fine!” Jensen said as he hastily got up from his seat and hot footed it over to the vending where he chose the biggest bar of candy he could find and took a satisfying bite from it. Alona’s joke about him having PMT caused something to go off in his head, a light bulb lighting up. He almost ran down the corridor to his office and grabbed his notebook and turned to the next new page.

DAY 18 OF HORMONES;

HEADACHE, CRAVING SUGAR, SHORT FUSE, SNAPPING AT LITTLE THINGS. ? SIGNS OF PMT ? HORMONES AT OPTIMAL LEVEL. BLOOD SAMPLE TAKEN.

He grabbed the familiar torniquet, needle and collecting tube and proceeded to take blood from his arm, the sting not so prominent this time, having gotten used to almost daily needles and weekly blood testing. He silently prayed that this experiment was working so far and he was already thinking about the next stage; the pouch and how he would insert it. His mind drifted to his new Ultrasound machine which Jared had shown him how to use. There was a way to use the probe alongside the new fine bore needle he had invested in which could be injected into a patient. This would just be like doing an Amniocetesis on his patients, something that he had done numerous times. No sooner had he placed the vial of blood in the collection box, the door knocked.

Jensen pulled the sleeve of his coat down and pressed at his temple as he muttered a “Come in”.

Jared opened up the door and looked at Jensen, slight worry on his face. “Everything okay?”.

“Yep, fine” the older man said as he started shuffling things around on his desk for something to do. When Jared just continued to look at him, he blinked several times. “I’m fine! I’ve got a headache that’s all. Nothing some Advil won’t sort out. What do you want?! I mean, are you okay?”.

“I need a consultation on a patient, if that’s okay” Jared asked, anxiety lacing his voice.

“Of course, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you or get pissy. Today has been a little stressful that’s all. I’ll be in with you now” Jensen said trying to control his mysterious rage. All of his patients were hormonal women, but now he felt like he was turning into one himself and it wasn’t nice being on the other side.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The senior physician once again found himself staring at the test results from his recent blood results. He felt a mixture of nerves and excitement. The hormone levels were at the optimal level. His attention was focused next on the pouch implantation.

DAY 23;

PROSTERONE AND OESTROGEN LEVELS MORE THAN ADEQUATE.

NEXT STAGE, POUCH IMPLANTATION. SYMPTOMS STILL INCLUDE MILD PMT. OTHERWISE, FEELING FINE.

After his staff had all gone home, he went to the lab and retrieved the pouch from the refrigerated section and carefully carried the sterile petri dish into one of the examining rooms where he had the fine bore needle and ultrasound probe set up with the new ultrasound machine. He stood there for a minute or so, trying to talk himself out of it, trying to convince himself that he was crazy. But he had come this far. He needed to see if this was going to work. After double and triple checking that he had everything ready, he laid down on the examining table and stripped himself off and put on a gown. He washed his hands and scrubbed up, putting on sterile gloves and then covering everything in sterile covers. The last thing that he needed to do was to introduce an infection into his body before he even started. He loaded the skin pouch into the needle and then covered every inch of his abdomen in iodine. With the probe, he tried to locate the best place for the implantation. It couldn’t be too high or low. He found a spot which looked great. He injected a vial of local anaesthetic into the spot and waited for a few minutes for it to take effect. Poised, ready with the needle, he breathed in and then jabbed it into his skin. Despite the local anaesthetic, it still stung intensely. This was what he put his patients through on a daily basis and he suddenly felt a new found respect for the pain that they endured. Using the ultrasound probe with his other hand, he located the tip of the needle on the screen and pressed the plunger down, watching the little pouch enter into the space between his front abdominal wall and intestine. It worked like a dream. The flap of cells unfolded and became a perfectly rounded pouch. Pulling out the needle, he finally exhaled fully. He had done all he could. He had to hope now that his body would receive the intrusion well and that it would develop a network of blood vessels around it to keep it in the right place. After clearing away all the stuff that he had used, he sat down at his desk in his office and pulled out his beloved notebook.

IMPLANTION COMPLETE;

POUCH WAS INSERTED USING A 20 G FINE BORE NEEDLE AFTER 20M/L OF LIDOCAINE. STERILE FIELD. RISK OF MILD BLEEDING- WILL MONITOR IN 24 HOURS. ANTIBIOTIC COVER FOR 3 DAYS TO MINIMISE INFECTION RISK. NEXT STAGE WILL BE TO PREPARE AN EMBRYO FOR IMPLANTATION INTO THE POUCH. ONLY ONE WILL BE USED TO ENSURE POUCH STABILITY.

Looking at his watch, Jensen realised that it was nearly midnight. His first appointment was at 8.15am. It was too late for him to drive all the way back home. It would be easier for him to stay the night here. He removed his white coat and stumbled over to the small couch in the corner of his office and laid down, using his coat as a blanket and closed his eyes. It wasn’t long before he fell asleep, once again dreaming about Kangaroo’s and babies.

 

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

Jensen awoke with a fright the next morning. He looked at his watch. It was 7:54am. He heard someone clattering about outside his office in the corridor. Getting up and stretching off the kinks in his muscles from sleeping awkwardly on the couch, he walked towards the door and opened it.

Jared jumped as his boss appeared in the doorway looking dishevelled. “Jesus, you scared the crap out of me! Fuck you look…..er…like you slept here last night?” he said taking note of his boss’ hair which was sticking up in every direction.

Rubbing the last remnants of sleep from his eyes, Jensen nodded. “Because I did. God, I need some caffeine or something….and possibly a shower”.

“How about you sort out the latter and I’ll take care of the coffee side of things” Jared said. “You like it strong enough to stand a spoon up in, right? One sugar?”.

“Perfect, thank you……actually make it two sugars…” the older man said gratefully. “I better get my skates on, first patient is due in 15 minutes”.

“Oh, you’ll be fine. Surely a guy like you only needs 5 minutes to get ready?” Jared said jokingly as he eyed up his boss. Even half asleep he looked effortlessly gorgeous. “Bed hair suits you” he said as he walked away, smiling to himself.

Jensen patted down his hair and went off in pursuit of clean scrubs and a hot shower.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week after the pouch implantation, Jensen had felt fine, and no lasting side effects from the procedure. He had scanned himself last night and everything looked good and it was still in the same place. It looked fairly immobile which was good. He found himself back in his lab after closing hours again this time armed with an egg and his own sperm. The egg was an anonymous donation, used for research purposes. The sperm would have been harder to get hold of, so he figured he would just use his own. Other than that, the process was the same as he did day in day out. His sperm looked great under the microscope and was good to go. He had been worried about the effect the female hormones would have on his sperm, but it had been unaffected, the motility was good. Under microscope, he injected some of the sperm into the egg. Now, all he had to do was to wait and check the progress in 16-18 hours. He always felt nervous for the couples trying to get pregnant and prayed that every egg would fertilise, but this one egg was very special- there was a lot more riding on this.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Doughnuts?” Jensen asked as he put the box down in front of his colleagues. 

Jared dug in and started to scoff down a frosted sugar doughnut, not caring that he was getting sugar all down his white coat and around his mouth. “Mmmm….good!”.

Jensen smiled as he took a small bite from a chocolate glazed. He dabbed the corners of his mouth before handing a napkin to the other physician. “Er, I think that you might need this….”.

Taking the napkin, Jared looked embarrassed. “Thank you….”.

Alona looked between the two men, who seemed to be sharing a moment of intimacy as they both looked at each other. “I’ll…go and….I think I heard the phone ring over here…I’ll go and answer it” she said, trying to be subtle but failing. She wanted to give them a few minutes alone.

“Well, Mr and Mrs Turi loved you! They said you were excellent with them and were very professional. Good job” Jensen said. “I was wondering, I know things have been hectic around here lately, but would you like to go out for dinner tonight? My treat of course. I need to do your appraisal anyway, not my favourite thing to do, but I figured if we did it over dinner, then it would be less of a chore?”.

“Mixing business and pleasure?” Jared said as he quirked an eyebrow.

“Well….I guess so….” the older man said. He looked intently at the other man and smiled. He reached down for the napkin and held it up to Jared’s mouth. “May I?”.

Jared nodded his head as he let Jensen dab some sugar off his lips. He put his hand up over the other mans for a second, feeling the soft skin under his palm. “Thank you…”.

Smiling, Jensen nodded. “You’re welcome. Shall I meet you here at 7.00pm?”.

“Perfect” Jared said.

“Great. I’ll see you then”. Jensen picked up the next chart and called the name on the front of it.

Jared smiled ecstatically and punched the air discreetly. When he turned around Alona had re-appeared. “I didn’t hear the phone ring?”.

“Ah, no, my mistake. I must have been hearing things. My bad” the blonde smirked. She grabbed a chart from the pile and held it up. “Next patient is here Dr Padalecki”.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 

Jensen was all dressed up and ready to go for his date with his colleague. But he had to make a quick detour into the lab first of all. He located the petri dish under the name of MS JEN ROSS and pulled it out of the cooler. Nervously, he walked over to the microscope and put the dish onto the stand. Looking through the lens, he saw the tiny cluster of cells which showed that the egg had been successfully fertilised. He smiled elatedly. That meant in around 48 hours it would be ready for implantation into the pouch and the potential for him to become essentially pregnant. When he met up with Jared 20 minutes or so later, his face was beaming.

“Hey…” Jared said. He was dressed down in a shirt and jeans and brown boots. He looked at Jensen who was also wearing a shirt and jeans.

“You all ready to go? You scrub up well!” Jensen said, making an observation.

“You’re not so bad yourself Dr Ackles” Jared said giving a hum of approval.

The restaurant Jensen had booked was not overly posh. Just a very good atmosphere, smart-casual, but with an excellent reputation for great food. After being shown to their table, they were handed some menus and the wine list. Jensen figured he would have a couple glasses of wine, as it may be the last time he could have a drink in a long while. He didn’t want the alcohol to affect the experiment in any way. He opted for Red, while Jared went for a crisp White. They ordered their food and the conversation started flowing freely.

“So…do you want to get started with my appraisal then? How am I doing?” Jared asked as he took a sip from his glass of wine.

Jensen went into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it. He also retrieved a pen and began to scroll down the list and ticked boxes off. “Prompt, yes, takes initiative, yes, professional, yes…..blah, blah, blah” he said as he carried on ticking boxes until he reached the bottom where there was a blank box. “Well, looks like you’re doing just fine. I need you to add your own comments to the box at the bottom and then you know, hand it back to me by the end of the week….or whenever…..”.

Jared took the piece of paper from his boss. “Um….okay, hand me the pen, I’ll do it now. I have had the utmost pleasure working for Dr Ackles, he’s incredibly talented, professional and I’ve learnt an amazing amount from him. I hope to continue to improve and become a vital asset to the clinic” he said as he scribbled it down. “Oh and he’s hot too, bonus!”.

“You’ve not put that down, have you? I’ve got to send that off to the medical director’s board!” Jensen said flabbergasted.

The younger man gave a goofy grin as he handed back over the piece of paper. 

Jensen laughed. “Hot, eh?” he asked as he leant forward and started circling the rim of his wine glass with his right index finger.

“Yeah. And very talented. I mean, you spend everyday making women extremely happy…you are every infertile woman’s dream. Of course I fancied you the first day I met you…but I thought you were married, with kids….” Jared began to say.

“Alona?” Jensen asked as he leant back in his chair, amusement on his face.

“Yep. I think she worked it out when she tried flirting with me, flashing me her cleavage then realised I was too busy staring at you instead. She told me that women just didn’t do it for you” the younger man laughed. “Took me a lot of courage to ask you out for that drink”.

Jensen was almost blushing now and it had nothing to do with the red wine that was going down nicely. “Well I’m glad that you did. And I’m glad that I asked you out to dinner tonight…you know….to do your appraisal” he added, narrowing his eyes and winking.

“How’s your research going into culturing an artificial uterus?” Jared asked.

“Yeah…not too bad. Things are just too hectic at the clinic right now so it’s on a bit of a hold, but I’m still optimistic about the whole thing. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about work” Jensen said as he tried to divert the subject. He put a hand over his stomach where he knew the pouch was. He hated lying to his colleague, but he didn’t want to jeopardise the experiment. The less people that knew about it the better. He was willing to risk his own career and medical licence over this, but he wasn’t willing to risk Jared’s future career, he was still young and had a very promising career in front of him.

“So what do you want to talk about?” Jared asked as he leaned over and moved his head and his hands closer to his boss.

“Anything but work. Tell me about Texas” Jensen said as he relaxed back in chair, sipped on his wine and listened with fascination at the other man talking about his hometown.

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Two days later, after the end of yet another hectic day, an early delivery via an emergency C-section and several egg extractions, Jensen was sat in his office finishing off the paperwork for the day. He had checked on the progress of his embryo that morning and found that it was ready for implantation. There was a knock on his office door and Jared appeared. The older man looked up and smiled. “Hey”.

Jared looked at his watch. “Working late again tonight?”.

“Yeah, just got to finish up some paperwork, filing, that sort of thing. I shouldn’t be more than an hour or so” the older physician said as he put down his pen and stretched off his back.

“Do you need me to stay to lend a hand? That way you can be out of here sooner?” Jared offered.

Jensen smiled but shook his head. “That’s very kind, thank you, but it’s okay. You head off home. I think we’ve got another busy day ahead of us tomorrow, so go and get some sleep”.

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. Oh….and thank you very much for dinner the other night. I enjoyed. We should do it again soon” Jared said, his tone of voice full of hope.

“Definitely” Jensen said, nodding his head in agreement and giving the other man reassurance and hope.

Jared felt shy all of a sudden and twisted his fingers around in his white coat in a child-like manner. “Well, good night. Don’t stay too late….”.

“Good night” Jensen said as he watched the other man disappear through the door. After finishing off the paperwork and ensuring that the clinic was empty, he headed off to the lab to retrieve the embryo. After another quick check under the microscope to check that everything still looked good, he headed into one of the examining rooms and set everything up for the implantation. He was even more nervous than when he implanted the pouch. This was actual life he was growing and was depending on his success to continue growing. Lying down on the table, he found himself once again poised ready with the needle to inject the embryo into the pouch. He had checked everything at least ten times, double checked his recent hormone levels and blood tests, re-checked the pouch, confirmed the viability of the embryo and then he finally pushed the plunger and watched on the ultrasound screen as the embryo was injected into the pouch. This was it. There was nothing more that he could do, other than maintain the optimal hormone levels. It was up to the little bundle of cells to find it’s niche and continue to thrive.

EMBRYO IMPLANTATION;

12 G FINE BORE NEEDLE USING ASEPTIC TECHNIQUE. SUCCESSFULLY INJECTED 1 LIVE EMBRYO INTO THE POUCH. WILL CONTINUE WITH DAILY HORMONE INJECTIONS UNTIL ESTABLISHED PLACENTA TAKES OVER. WILL REVIEW WITH BLOOD TEST FOR ? PREGNANCY AND HCG LEVELS IN 2 WEEKS TIME.

Jensen was jotting down notes in his notebook, his writing slightly wobbly with the nerves running through his body at what he had just done. Fatigue suddenly washed over him. He knew that he needed to rest and lie down for a couple of hours at least after implantation, it was something he preached to all of his patients. Making up the couch for him to sleep on , he bedded down for the night once again.

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The next morning, Jensen was up and showered before his colleagues made an appearance. The needle site from last night was a little sore, but other than that he felt fine. He wrote this down in his notebook under ‘DAY 1 POST IMPLANTATION’. He needed to make sure that he didn’t do any heavy lifting for the next couple of days at least. Other than that, it was a waiting game. Heading out to the front desk, he was greeted by Jared.

“Morning!” Jared said cheerfully, having clearly had a good night’s rest.

“Morning” Jensen said, not quite as cheerful.

Alona was straight to the point. “You look exhausted!”.

Jensen managed a weak laugh. “Yup, that’s one word to describe it. It’s fine, I think I’ll finish early tonight and get an early night” he said as he rubbed at his eyes. Nothing a cup of coffee won’t sort out. “Is my first patient here yet?”.

Alona shook her head. “She rang to say that she was running 20 minutes late, so you’ve got time for your coffee”.

“Okay, I’ll be in my office, let me know when she arrives” the older physician said as he headed off to his office for a rest. Once back inside his office, he did a couple of checks on himself, including his blood pressure which was normal. He leant back in his chair and put his feet up on his desk and put his hand on his stomach and closed his eyes.

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Over the next week, Jensen had returned to normal. It had been 8 days since the implantation and felt no lasting effects. He was due to test his blood for HcG levels in 6 days time and to see if he had been successful in getting pregnant.

Jensen had just finished up with a patient when he felt an unusual sensation in his stomach followed by cramping. Excusing himself, he hobbled off to the bathroom and went into one of the cubicles. Breathing deeply in and out he clutched onto his stomach and scrunched up his eyes in pain. He was hunched over the toilet as he waited for the cramps to hopefully subside. After a few minutes, the pain had eased enough for him to be able to uncurl himself. Closing the lid of the toilet, he sat down and wiped his brow with the cuff of his sleeve. There were two possible causes of his discomfort; either the embryo and the pouch were being rejected, or it was just implantation cramps. He felt helpless as he knew that there was nothing left to do but wait another week to get the pregnancy test results. Once he felt better, he headed back to work where he continued to get mild cramping for the rest of the day.

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~ 6 days later ~

Jensen had taken his blood and marked it as ‘HcG’ Test and instead of putting it in the routine blood collection box, he took it straight to the lab himself and labelled it as ‘Urgent’. He should get the results fast-tracked and have them before the end of the day. He had taken his own advice that he gave his patients and to not take any home pregnancy tests because the risk of false negatives and false hopes so he had stuck out the dreaded 2 week wait.

Luckily, he had a full list of patients that day to keep his mind occupied. He called in one of his patients and her husband to one of the consulting rooms. “Mr and Mrs Jameson? I have the results of your pregnancy test here” he said holding up the envelope.

The nervous woman clutched her husband’s hand tightly.

Jensen wasted no time at all in ripping open the envelope. His eyes scanned down the list until he saw what he was looking for. “Congratulations, you’re pregnant. Just take it easy for the next few weeks and I’ll see you in a month for a scan”. After leaving the ecstatic couple alone, he went to the front desk where Alona was booking a couple in for their appointment. “Alona? If some blood test results come back in the name of MS ROSS can you please come and find me?”.

Alona didn’t ask any questions. “Yeah, sure thing. Your new patient is here with her husband. Shall I get her set up in exam three?”.

“Yeah, thanks” Jensen said as he looked at his watch nervously. It had been a good few hours since he had given in his blood sample. When he had finished the hour long consultation with the new patient, he tirelessly wandered back to the front desk.

“It’s just come in Jensen. The results that you wanted” Alona said as she handed the envelope over.

Jensen went to take the envelope but suddenly felt sick at the thought. “Uh, can you, open it up for me please?”.

“Yeah, sure….I…don’t think that I recognise the name of this patient. Has she been in before?” Alona asked as she slowly opened the envelope, unknowingly prolonging the agony for her boss.

“I’m kind of doing a special favour for someone…..anyway Alona….the results?” the physician said as he nervously tapped his pen on the table.

Alona smiled and looked down. “Pregnancy test came back positive”.

“Positive?” Jensen checked.

“Yeah” Alona said as she handed the piece of paper to her boss.

Jensen started at the bold writing and the word ‘Positive’ under HcG. He was pregnant. 

It had worked.

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Alona looked at her boss’ pale face with worry. “Jensen? Are you okay?”.

Jensen snapped out of his reverie. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just need to make a phone call to the patient. I’ll be back” he said as he ran down the corridor to one of the examining rooms and locked the door behind him. Although a blood test was the most accurate result, he needed more confirmation. There wouldn’t be much to see on ultrasound at this early stage. Grabbing a handful of early pregnancy tests, he went into the bathroom and locked that door too. He found himself standing over the toilet with a specimen cup, willing his bladder to co-operate and produce a sample. His anxiety and nerves didn’t help matters. After turning on the taps and letting them run for a while, he finally managed to fill the cup a quarter full, more than enough for a couple of pregnancy tests. He dipped 3 tests into the urine and waited. Just when he had given up hope, he looked at the tests one by one and all three showed a very faint but definite line. There was no doubt about it, he was pregnant. Scanning down the list of the rest of his bloods, showed that his hormone levels had dipped slightly so he decided on a top up. Although the initial signs and findings were good, there was still a very long way to go with this. He wanted to try and get up to 6 weeks. He was already a quarter of the way. He went to his office and pulled out his faithful notebook.

DAY 14 AFTER IMPLANTATION-

BLOOD TEST AFTER 2 WEEKS SHOWED A POSITIVE RESULT FOR EARLY PREGNANCY. WHILST HORMONE LEVELS ARE OKAY, WILL CONTINUE TO INJECT TO MAINTAIN ADEQUATE LEVELS FOR THE EMBRYO TO CONTINUE TO DEVELOP.

3 EARLY PREGNANCY URINE TESTS CONFIRMED A POSITIVE RESULT. FEELING NERVOUS, ANXIOUS AND EXCITED. STILL IN SHOCK THAT THE EMBRYO HAS SUCCESSFULLY BEEN IMPLANTED. NIL ELSE TO REPORT FOR TODAY.

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~ 3 weeks later ~

It was mid morning, and when Jared walked into his boss’ office, he found him asleep at his desk. 

“Jensen?” Jared said softly as not to give him too much of a fright.

Jensen’s eyes opened and he yawned. He looked at his watch and sat upright, becoming more alert. “Crap! Was I asleep? Jeez, I had like 10 hours sleep last night….”.

Jared put his hand on the other man’s forehead. “Hhhmmm…you don’t feel hot. Do you think that you’re coming down with something?”.

“No…I’m fine. I just need a minute that’s all” the pregnant man said as he put a hand over his stomach as it started to gurgle loudly.

“How about I get you some coffee and doughnuts?” Jared offered.

“No coffee thank you. I’m trying to give the damn stuff up. I could go for a doughnut though” the older man said as he stood up, brushing off a dizzy spell and holding onto the edge of the table for support. “I’ll come out and get one now”.

“Okay, no worries. Otherwise, the way me and Alona are chomping down on them, there’s not going to be any left!” Jared laughed.

Jensen followed his colleague out of the room to the front desk where there was a half eaten box of doughnuts on the counter. He reached for one of the chocolate glazed ones, his favourite and brought it to his mouth when a sudden feeling of nausea washed over him. It had subsided as fast as it had come on. He decided that the delicious doughnut was worth the risk. As soon as he took his first bite, he regretted it as his stomach gave a violent lurch. He didn’t have any time to run to a bathroom and grabbed the nearest receptacle that he could- the garbage can and threw up violently in it, in front of a busy waiting room full of patients and other staff. Wiping his mouth with a tissue he had in his coat pocket he smiled sheepishly. “Well…that was rather embarrassing…..”.

“I think you need to go home Jensen. We can manage here. You don’t want to pass any bugs onto your patients do you. Let’s hope that it’s just a 24 hour thing” Jared said as he smiled sympathetically at his boss. “Go on, off you go…”.

The physician felt too weak to argue and walked off down the corridor to his office where he grabbed a few things, including his notebook and headed off home.

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Jensen’s life was his work. Nonetheless, he kept a nice home just out of the main hustle and bustle of the city. Because he was rarely there, it was easy to keep tidy. He made himself comfortable on the couch and put the TV on just for some background noise. He opened up a new page in his notebook.

DAY 36, WEEK 5 OF PREGNANCY

THE PAST FEW DAYS I HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING SEVERE FATIGUE AND HEADACHES. TODAY I BELIEVE MY MORNING SICKNESS HAS STARTED ALONG WITH DIZZY SPELLS. I AM HOPING TO RIDE IT OUT WITHOUT ANY ANTI-EMETICS. THE INITIAL AIM WAS TO GET TO 6 WEEKS, BUT ? POSSIBLY EXTENDING TO 8 WEEKS TO SEE WHAT OTHER ‘NORMAL’ PREGNANCY SYMPTOMS OCCUR. HORMONE LEVELS ON BLOOD TEST ONE DAY AGO CAME BACK AS HIGHER THAN USUAL, INCREASED EXPONENTIALLY WITH THE FETAL DEVELOPMENT. WILL DO FIRST ULTRASOUND SCAN NEXT WEEK. FOR NOW, WILL TRY TO SIP SMALL AMOUNTS OF WATER, AND TRY SOME DRY CRACKERS. NAUSEA HAS ABATED FOR NOW AND WILL HOPEFULLY STAY AWAY FOR THE REST OF THE DAY…UNTIL THE MORNING AT LEAST.

Jensen felt his eyes start to close and after a few minutes, he lost the battle and gave in to sleep.

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The next morning, Jensen awoke to find that he was still on the couch. His notebook had fallen on the floor and the blanket that had been covering him was now a tangled mess around his body. He blinked and rubbed his eyes awake as the morning sun filtered in through the gaps in his blinds. The first thing he noticed was the headache, pounding dully somewhere in the back of his head. The next thing he noticed was that he had to pee, like right now. He ran to the bathroom and took care of his screaming bladder. Fighting a dizzy spell, he managed to stand long enough to have a shower. He had to sit down to dry himself and get dressed for work. He figured after yesterday’s vomiting and the dull nausea in the back of his throat, he would skip breakfast until he felt like it wouldn’t make a rather public appearance again like yesterday. Smoothing down his hair in the mirror, he reached for his aftershave and flipped off the cap. It was his favourite, his old faithful “Old Spice” which he never left the house without. Something didn’t smell right, in fact something really didn’t smell good at all, like dead rotting flowers which caused his stomach to roil around. He took one sniff of his aftershave and ran straight to the toilet, throwing the lid up and retched up a meager amount of bile. It took 2 minutes of dry heaving before he was finally done. Eager to clean his teeth, he reached for his tube of toothpaste, but the peppermint smell made him want to retch again so he just opted for water, and lots of it. 

Jensen was more than used to his patients complaining about morning sickness, aversion to smells and he had tried his best to reassure them that it was normal, and although unpleasant, didn’t last for very long. But now that it was happening to him, he felt miserable and couldn’t bear the thought of taking his own advice of ginger and peppermint teas and dry crackers. He knew that he needed to keep his blood sugar levels up, but he couldn’t face anything.

When he finally got into work, Jensen had recovered from his morning vomiting and after seeing his first patient, he felt a lot more human again. His stomach was even rumbling at its protest of being empty. He went over to the front desk where Alona and Jared had another box of pastries from the 7-11 store down the road. He didn’t want a repeat of yesterday’s doughnut incident. But something smelled good to him, really damn good. “Are these apple fritters?” he asked.

“Yup!” Jared said. “You feeling any better today?”.

“Not too bad” the pregnant man said as he kept his eye on the fritter. It was looking and smelling more and more appetizing by the second. He decided that it would be worth the risk even if he did end up throwing it back up. He picked it up and took a bite testingly and when he didn’t feel sick, he took a bigger bite and almost moaned in ecstasy at how good it tasted. “God, this is soooo good. Why haven’t we had these before?”.

Alona just shrugged her shoulders and looked at her boss in amusement. “Do you and the fritter need some alone time?”.

Jensen shook his head as he finished off the rest of the pastry. Although his body was telling him to have more, he thought best to wait and see if he kept it down first. “Is my next patient here?” he asked as he wiped his fingers on the hem of his white coat.

“Over there….” the blonde nurse said as she pointed to an anxious couple sitting at the back of the waiting room.

“Mrs Lucille?” Jensen shouted out. The nervous couple stood up from their seats and followed the physician down the corridor and into one of the examining rooms.

“Are my pregnancy test results back yet?” the brunette woman asked hopefully the second they were in the room and the door was shut.

“I believe they are” the physician said as he began to open up the envelope. He looked down the page and felt his throat go tight as he read it. “I’m sorry…it’s negative. It’s not worked this time….”.

Mrs Lucille began to sob uncontrollably into her husband’s arms. “We…..we don’t have the money for another round…..not for a year or so at least…..” she cried.

Jensen felt his eyes start to prick with tears at his patient’s sorrow. He always felt remorse and sympathy for the bad news he had to inflict on his patients, but he was more than used to it. This time though, he felt close to tears. He felt himself choke up and he got up from his chair. “I’m sorry, will you excuse me for just a moment” he said as left the room and headed to the nearest empty room. Tears began to fall freely down his face and he cried, a bitter rush of emotions and hormones coming out in one big rush. He dabbed his eyes with a tissue and fought control of his emotions and headed back into the room to try to further console his patient. “Mrs Lucille? You can still keep trying. A lot of my women end up falling pregnant naturally in between their IVF cycles. It could happen. But if not, then we’ll try again, I promise you, we’ll try again”.

“I know Dr Ackles” the husband said as he nodded his head. 

His wife looked and smiled meekly. “Thank you for trying”.

“Third time will be a charm. I have a good feeling. I hope to see you again soon” Jensen said sincerely. Once the devastated couple had left, he put his head in his hands and quietly sobbed for them.

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Jensen was scanning one of his patients for her 12 week scan. He was perched on a stool as he rolled the probe around on his pregnant patient’s stomach. “Everything looks amazing here Ms Stevens. Can you see its little arms and legs moving around. That there is the spine, it looks like a small string of pearls” he said smiling. This was always one of the most rewarding parts of his job. “Would you like to hear the heartbeat?”.

The pregnant woman nodded her head and her face lit up with joy and excitement. “Yes please, can we really hear it so soon?”.

“Yes. It may sound fast, but that would be perfectly normal. I’ve just got to catch it when the baby stops wriggling around….” the physician said. “It’s active, but you won’t be able to feel it for at least another month yet. “Okay….here we go” he said as he clicked on a few buttons and then the room was filled with the sound of a baby’s heartbeat. His face was filled with as much delight as his patients’.

“That’s unreal….” Ms Stevens said.

“I know” Jensen said as he felt an overwhelming bond to the baby on the screen. “Well we are done here. Everything I’ve seen here looks great. You’re pretty much past the first trimester now, so the risks of miscarriage are a lot lower, but nonetheless, this is a special baby and I want you to come in for regular checkups. You can start telling people now if you like!”.

“Yeah, I guess so. At least they’ll have an explanation for my weird behavior the past couple of months.

“So, how have you been feeling in yourself? Any unpleasant symptoms?” Jensen asked as he noted some measurement from the scan onto a chart.

“A little tired, heartburn. But thank God my morning sickness has virtually gone. That was not fun and I didn’t pay for that little perk as part of the pregnancy package. I mean, everything set me off. I was in work one day and someone had toast with peanut butter. I took one look at it and I threw up. And then I couldn’t stand the smell of bread even! I would walk past people in the street and take a whiff of their perfume and I’d be sick” Ms Stevens said as she dried herself off with some paper. She hadn’t noticed that her physician had gone a deathly shade of green.

Jensen listened for another minute about the things that made his patient sick, his nausea increasing by the second until he clamped his hand over his mouth. “Excuse me” he muttered as he ran over to the sink in the corner of the room and threw up.

“Um…..Dr Ackles? Are you okay?” the shocked woman asked as she got up from the table.

“Yep…..” the physician said, his head still buried in the sink making sure that he wasn't going to be sick again. When he was sure that he was done, he quickly rinsed his mouth out with water and turned around. “I’m sorry about that. I had take-out last night. That’s probably all that it is”. 

“Well, I think that it’s kinda sweet, having a doctor come out in sympathy for you like that. Maybe you should try some of those saltine crackers that you recommended to me. I may even have some in my bag…..ah yes…..” the patient said as she handed over the half empty box to Jensen. “Keep them. I think your need is greater than mine right now”.

Jensen smiled and took one. He took a small bite and immediately felt his stomach settle somewhat. Rubbing his stomach, he went back to looking at his patient's chart. “Hhhm….practise what I preach, eh? Anyway…where were we” he said as he finished off the cracker. “Oh yes, bloods are fine, so is your blood pressure. Just see someone at the front desk and they will book you in for 4 weeks time and I'll see you then”.

“Great” Ms Stevens said as she got up to leave. “Oh…and where did you get the takeout from, just out of interest so I can avoid having salmonella?”.

“Er….I don’t remember, some place downtown, Kung Po something or other. Just avoid all processed food and takeouts for now and you should be fine Ms Stevens”.

The pregnant woman smiled as she gathered up her things. “Thank you so much. Hope you feel better soon. See you in a month”.

Jensen nodded as his patient left. Groaning as his stomach roiled again he hastily grabbed another cracker.

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“Hey…” Jared said as he approached his boss who was finishing off some paperwork for the day. “I’ve not really seen much of you since our dinner date…sorry appraisal” he said sarcastically. “I know we’ve been busy but I was wondering if you’d like to do it again sometime. My treat this time? I know this great little Italian down the road”.

Jensen’s heart both leapt and sank at the idea. There was no way he could risk going out for food when he was still struggling to hold onto it. He had managed to keep his morning sickness fairly under wraps for now. He had started drinking ginger tea and eating crackers first thing in the morning which lessened the severity and duration of his nausea and vomiting. But then he longed to spend more time with Jared out of work. He figured that he could put if off for a week or so. “Yeah, that sounds really good”.

“Awesome, I heard that their dough balls are to die for, dripping with garlic butter” Jared said enthusiastically.

The older man put his hand over his mouth as he almost retched at the thought. Luckily he was able to better control it. “Yummy. Well, I’m tied up for the rest of the week, but the end of next week should be okay”. He swallowed back a wave of nausea.

Jared nodded his head and smiled. “Okay…..I’ll hold you to that. It’s a date then…..”.

“Yeah a date” Jensen said as he rubbed at his stomach to try and calm it.

“Oh and I brought you some apple fritters. You really seemed to enjoy them before. They are fresh, I’ve just picked them up from the bakery across the road” Jared said as he thoughtfully handed over the box.

“Wow, thank you” the pregnant man said, almost salivating at the thought of the sugary pastry and soft warm apple filling. “I’ll see you tomorrow” he said giving his colleague a dashing smile.

Jared’s face lit up. “Yeah. 12 hours, right? And counting….”.

“12 hours…” Jensen said as he watched Jared walk away. He had got changed and was wearing a pair of dark rinse jeans and a tight t-shirt which showed off his chiselled abs and impossibly strong looking arms. He felt something stir down below at the thought of his co-worker. Once Jared had completely disappeared from view he opened up the box and pulled out a fritter, immediately sinking his teeth into one and moaning loudly. “God, best substitute for sex ever!” he said. Once he had finished that one, he dove back into the box and pulled out another and devoured that one even quicker than the first. Once he was done, he looked at his watch and sighed. 7.42pm. Pushing his chair back, flinching as it scraped along the floor, he trudged into one of the rooms and switched on one of the ultrasound machines. Moving his scrubs out the way, he prepped his abdomen with the gel and hovered the probe over himself before landing on a certain spot. It took a while to find it, but eventually, he saw it. At 6 weeks, he knew that it would be tiny, but it was a definite outline of a foetus, a bean shape that showed him that the baby had grown from the egg and was developing just fine. He couldn’t believe how much this little bundle of cells was taking over his body, making him lose control like it was, dictating what and when he ate, and what to throw up. It was so tiny, but it was making him exhausted, the type of exhaustion that doesn’t even go away after getting 10 hours sleep a night. Noting his findings in his notebook, he cleared away everything, switched off the lights and locked up before heading home to bed.

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Jensen thought that the ginger ale and crackers were working, it had been for a good few days, but then his body decided to up the ante and torture him some more. He was in the middle of a delivery which turned out to be pretty bloody. As soon as he saw the red stuff and smelt it he started to gag violently.

One of the nurses looked over at her boss. “You okay?”.

“Mmmmhmmm” the nauseous physician mumbled as he kept his mouth closed. He thought if he opened it he would be sick. Things were getting beyond ridiculous, he was more than used to the sight and smell of blood but the baby had decided to turn it against him. Once the baby slid out into his arms and he had cut the cord, he handed it to the nurse, not looking too much at what it was covered in. Tearing off his gloves he threw them in the trash. “I’ll be right back” he said making his excuses. 

The nurse looked on. “Where are you going? I think she needs a stitch”.

Jensen felt the familiar rise in this throat. “I said I'll be right back!”. As the nausea increased, so did his strides down the corridor until he found himself in the nearest bathrooms down the hall with his head down the toilet, vomiting what little he had left in his stomach. Once he was sure he wasn’t going to up-chuck publicly, he went back in to check on his patient. He screwed his face up at the sight of the blood but was better able to control the nausea. “Let’s check you both over shall we? All went well Mrs Burg”.

So he admitted defeat and resorted to taking anti-emetics to take the edge off things. The deciding factor had been when he had to stop the car the other morning to throw up on the side of the road and when he had to make a mad dash for the exit to throw up in the shrubbery outside Wal-Mart whilst trying to do his twice weekly grocery shop and then even the smell of his gloves set him off. He didn't know how much more he could take. 

His dinner date with Jared was tomorrow night and he didn’t want a little nausea and vomiting to put a dampener on things. Luckily, his new found love of apple fritters had kept him going and his stomach kept them down and kept his blood sugar levels up. He had weighed himself that morning, and found that despite the constant vomiting, he had managed only to lose 3 pounds.

The evening of the dinner date arrived and Jensen arrived at the restaurant to find Jared sat down looking through the menu. He looked gorgeous and effortlessly sexy. That was one lucky menu to be held like that by those glorious hands. “Sorry I’m late, I got stuck in traffic” the older man apologized.

Jared didn’t seem at all fazed by the other man’s slight delay. “That’s okay, I’ve not been here for long. I was looking at the wine menu. Is Red okay for you?”.

Jensen removed his jacket and put it on the back of his chair. “Er, I’m not going to drink tonight actually. I’ll just have some sparkling water” he said as he put his hand on his stomach. “I’ll be back….bathroom…like I said, I got stuck in damn traffic….” he said as he located the restroom to the back of the restaurant and scurried off there. When he came back a few minutes later, relieved at the pressure that had been taken off, he was finally able to sit down. His sparkling water had arrived and he took a sip, trying to gauge how his stomach was going to behave.

“I thought about getting some starters. The pate is meant to be good….so are the prawns apparently” the younger man said as his eyes darted back and forth across the menu.

“Uh, no pate or shellfish for me” the pregnant man said as he laid a hand on his stomach. It would be too risky. He grabbed a menu and found the blandest thing he could find on it. “Gnocchi I think to start….”.

Jared nodded his head. “Okay, well I think that I’m going to stick with the original plan and go for those dough balls I was talking about last week. I’m not going to worry about carbs tonight, screw it” he said as he rubbed his hands across his toned abs which made Jensen almost drool with wanton desire. “Hhhmmm….I don’t know whether to go with the lasange or the Hawaiian pizza….what do you think?” he asked, blinking at the other man through long, luscious eye lashes.

Jensen was so distracted by watching Jared, he had almost forgotten what had been asked. “Um….I think I’ll go with the margarita pizza, keep it simple” he said, deciding that should be bland enough for his tortured digestive tract to cope with.

Halfway through the starters, Jensen felt the pressure build again and he got to his feet. It was another common ailment that his patients complained about especially in the first trimester but it was now he appreciated how annoying and frustrating it was. “I’m sorry, I really have to pee….”.

“Again?” Jared asked as he dipped a dough ball into the garlic butter.

“Yep. I think my bladder is the size of a pea tonight….oh….sorry….too much information….” the older man said. The early pregnancy symptoms he was experiencing was textbook, annoying, but perfectly normal. He almost smiled at the thought.

Jared laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s okay, we’re both physicians here, human physiology is our life so we don't do embarrassment…”.

After that, everything else went really well, and much to Jensen’s surprise and delight, his food stayed where it was and he even enjoyed it very much and had felt hungry once he had started eating . They both skipped on dessert and the conversation flowed until the restaurant started to empty out and they were the only ones left.

A waiter came over to them to clear their empty glasses. “Can I get the two of you some coffee?”.

Jensen was the first to shake his head. 

“No thank you…” Jared said. “Can we just get the check please?”. Once the waiter left them to it again, he leant forward and put his hand on his boss’. “I thought maybe we could have coffee back at my place?”.

“Er, I actually don’t want coffee” Jensen said.

Jared leaned in closer until his lips were almost flush against Jensen’s. “No…I don’t mean coffee, I meant ‘Coffee’”.

And that was it, Jensen could not keep his hormones and frustration at bay for any longer. Apparently the baby was adding a dose of horniness into the mix. “Oh God, yes!”.

Jared whipped out a hundred dollar bill and threw it down on the table just as the waiter appeared with the bill. “Keep the change” he shouted back as he dragged Jensen out the restaurant and into the parking lot where he fumbled with the car keys in the lock.

As soon as the door clicked open, Jensen threw it open and got into the passenger seat of the car. “How far away is your place?” he asked in a breathy voice.

“5 minutes if I really put my foot down…” Jared said as he buckled up.

“Then put your foot down Dr Padalecki because these seats looks expensive and I don’t want to be forking out for a specialist car valet if I can help it” Jensen moaned as his hands moved over the other man’s thighs, then slowly in between his legs where he felt something very pleasing to him. “Mmmm…..”. He licked his lips and clutched onto the dashboard as the car came to an abrupt halt at the side of the road. 

Jared undid his seatbelt, barely keeping things together as he got out the car and into his house, Jensen hot on his heels and full of just enough lust as he was. “Bedroom is this way..” he said as he led them up the stairs and into the first room on the left hand side.

Once inside the bedroom, they started clawing at each other’s clothes but then they realised that it was just as quick, if not quicker, to remove their own clothes. After they were both stripped off and naked, sloppy, hungry, needy kisses were exchanged.

“I need you Jared” the older man breathed as his hand worked its way up and down the other man’s shaft. “I don’t care how….just…God….I’m not going to hold out for long”.

“Me neither” Jared breathed back. “Hang on…” he said as his right hand reached out to the drawer on his bedside table and he pulled out a new tube of lube and pulled the cap off with his teeth.

Jensen’s body started to almost convulse with the anticipation, bucking his hips to try and find friction, trying to find something, until Jared’s hand wrapped around him.

“More, need more” Jensen said as he moved his hands around Jared’s erection harder and faster, indicating that he wanted the same in return.

The hand movements, gasps, moans and hungry kisses kept on for about a minute or so until Jared screamed out, his voice urgent. “I….can’t hold back…”.

“Nor can I….just…aaahhh….go for it…..relax….” Jensen shouted as he felt Jared twitch in his hands, and his own orgasm building up and exploding into euphoria.

They both fell back into a heap on the bed, perspiration prickling on their skin, their breaths trying to return to normal.

“Wow…” the younger man said.

“Yeah” Jensen agreed. “I needed that, more than you know” he said as he looked down on himself. He hadn’t been sure whether things would have worked as they did given the amount of hormones that he had been taking, but it didn’t have any effect on his manhood, or the pleasure that had just given him.

“Me too” Jared said as he rolled over and hovered over Jensen. His fingers started to trace over the skin on his chest and then his stomach. He looked down and saw little pin prick marks on the other man’s skin. “What are these?”.

Jensen had been so lost in the heat and passion of the moment, he had forgotten about that. “Oh….just some jabs….vitamin B-12 and Iron. Nothing to worry about. I‘ve been tired so thought it would be a little pick-me-up” he lied.

Jared ran his fingers up to Jensen’s face and lightly traced a circle around his lips. “You are so gorgeous you know?”.

“So are you” the older man said as he smiled back. “I’m kinda gross now though…do you mind if I take the first shower?”.

“Sure” Jared nodded as he lay back in the bed, sated and satisfied. “Bathroom is just down the hall on your left, and there’s clean towels on the shelf. Help yourself”.

“Thank you” the older man said as he got up from the bed and slowly made his way to the bathroom. Once inside, he looked at himself in the mirror and rubbed his hands across his face. The food and then the rush of adrenaline that helped fuelled his orgasm had left him bone tired and made his stomach rumble and gurgle. He managed to clamber into the shower and relished in the hot water cascading down his back, relieving the tension in his neck and shoulders. Once he was done, he grabbed a fresh towel from the shelf and dried himself off. When he got back into the bedroom, Jared was still sprawled out on the bed, but he was half asleep and he moaned as Jensen got back into the bed.

Jared put his arm around the older man. “Too tired…I’ll have a shower in the morning….” he muttered.

Jensen could only manage a moan before he too was overcome with fatigue and fell into a deep sleep.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The next morning, Jared clambered out of bed and headed straight into the bathroom for his shower, leaving Jensen in bed.

The pregnant man opened his eyes and let them adjust to the light and his surroundings and he immediately sat up in the bed. He had forgotten that sitting up so forcefully would cause his stomach to lurch violently. He felt the panic rise as his food from last night was threatening to make a hasty re-appearance and that he didn’t know where the nearest sink was or if there was another bathroom available. Jumping off the bed, he ran downstairs and saw a bathroom door open in the hallway. He ran in and just about got to his knees when he emptied his stomach into the ceramic bowl, tears in the corner of his eyes. Once he was done, he washed his face and rinsed out his mouth. When he came out of the bathroom, Jared was walking down the stairs and stopped and smiled when he saw the older man.

“Morning, you okay?”.

Jensen nodded his head. “Yeah, great”. He couldn’t help noticing that Jared was still wet from his shower and only had a small towel wrapped around his lower half, his rippling muscles and toned abs on full display. His stomach lurched again, but in a different way. He realised that he probably looked terrible having just vomited. 

“I’m just going to make some breakfast, do you want anything?” Jared asked as he readjusted the towel around his waist.

Shaking his head, Jensen put a hand over his stomach. His security blanket of ginger tea and crackers were in his own house. “I think I’ll get a cab back to my place, get a change of clothes and head to the office” he said.

Jared smiled and nodded his head. “Okay…I’ll see you later then?” he winked as he moved closer to his boss.

The smell of shampoo and aftershave hit Jensen straight away which made his stomach roil and he backed away. “Yeah, I’ll see you later. I’ll just go grab my clothes….” he said as he ran up the stairs and quickly changed. When he appeared back in the hallway, Jared’s smile had disappeared and he looked confused.

“Jensen? Are we okay? I mean…I don’t want this to be awkward, like a one night stand. That’s not what I want” Jared said as he ran his hands through his hair nervously.

“What?” Jensen asked, genuinely bewildered by what the other man said.

“You, running off, it’s like you can’t wait to escape from me…..” the younger man said, sounding disappointed.

Jensen tried not to inhale too deeply as not to provoke any more nausea. “No….I’m not running off…God, last night was amazing, and I want to get to know you better and hope this can continue…I’m just….I’ve got a lot to do this morning that’s all. I’ll see you later, treat you to lunch, okay?”.

“Okay, sounds good. You know, you work too hard” the younger man. “I admire that, I really do, but you need to let me help you out more, that’s why you hired me, right, to share the burden?”.

Jensen managed a weak smile. “It’s fine Jared. Just crappy administration stuff, very boring. You’re an excellent physician and I don’t want you to be taken away from that any more than you have to” he said as he headed towards the front door. 

Jared still felt deflated when his boss had left, he thought they were getting on really well, but Jensen just seemed ‘off’ this morning. He wasn’t going to dwell on it anymore, so he went into his kitchen and prepared his breakfast.

The senior physician had managed to hail down a cab and he found himself in his own home just 20 minutes later. He was exhausted but his stomach had decided to revolt against him once more and he ran to the toilet to purge his stomach of what little was left in there. He fumbled his way over to the couch and wrapped himself up in a blanket and hugged his knees up to his chest. His body had one last betrayal for him as tears started to flow freely from his eyes and he sobbed into a cushion, for no apparent reason at all. After regaining control, he jumped in the shower and headed off to work.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Due to their busy schedules, Jared didn’t see Jensen until nearly lunchtime. The younger physician found Jensen sat at his desk, finishing labelling some blood samples he had taken from his last patient. “You hungry? I believe that you promised me lunch?”.

Jensen looked at him, but his mind was elsewhere. “Oh….I forgot….” he said as he got up from his desk a little too quick and felt himself topple.

Jared’s arms were quickly around his boss as he guided him back to a sitting position on his chair behind his desk. “Woah…..you’re really pale! Let’s get your blood sugars and blood pressure checked, shall we?”.

“It’s fine!” the pregnant man said. “I skipped breakfast….I’ve not really recovered from that stomach bug I had. It’s just gastro….that’s all…I was sick first thing, in your place…that's kinda why I left like I did...”.

“Okay…if you’re sure. I thought you’ve been a bit off the past couple of weeks. You know, if this doesn’t get any better soon, I think you need to get it seen to” Jared said.

Rolling his eyes, Jensen got back up off his seat, slower this time and successfully stood upright without a repeat of the dizzy spell. “Well, a physician like you, should know that it can take a while to fully recover from gastro Dr Padelecki. So, I’m very sorry, but can we take a rain check on lunch?” he said as he put the blood samples in a sealed bag, ready to send off to the lab.

Jared gave his boss a dashing smile and winked. “Okay, I’ll let you off. But I’m holding you to your promise. I’m going to head to the diner over the road, can I get you anything?”.

Shaking his head, Jensen put a hand over his mouth to suppress some rising gas from his gurgling stomach. “Nope I’m good….”.

“Not even an Apple fritter? For later on?” Jared asked as he hovered in the doorway.

Jensen smiled. “Well, okay, thanks, I may be able to stomach one later on”.

When Jared had left, Jensen slumped back down on his chair behind his desk and pulled out his notebook. His hand rubbed just below his diaphragm. It seemed cruel that although his stomach was completely empty, the indigestion was almost agonizing.

 

SYMPTOMS ARE GETTING ME DOWN. FEELING EXHAUSED, TEARFUL AND NAUSEOUS. DESPITE ANTI-EMETICS, VOMITTING IS STILL A MAJOR ISSUE. SUFFERING FROM NEW ONSET OF HEARTBURN. I NO LONGER FEEL IN CONTROL OF MY OWN BODY. FREQUENT PASSING OF URINE IS INCONVENIENT, INCREASING FREQUENCY, URGENCY AND ONLY SMALL AMOUNTS PASSED, DESPITE INCREASING MY FLUID INTAKE. HAVE DECIDED TO TERMINATE THE EXPERIMENT AT 8 WEEKS. CANNOT RISK TAKING THE PREGNANCY ANY FURTHER.

As soon as he had shut the notebook and put it back into his desk drawer, the door swung open and Alona entered, a sheepish smile on her face as she looked at her boss playfully. “So?”.

“So, what?” Jensen asked as he studied the blonde .

“You and Jared? He’s been walking around like a love sick puppy all day. Did you?” Alona said.

“Did we what?” Jensen asked, not getting it, as he sighed tiredly.

“You know….” the blonde said as he quirked her eyebrows suggestively.

Jensen was too exhausted and nauseous for this. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, okay? I’ve got a load of paperwork to do, so can you please close the door on your way out?” he said as he grabbed a file from his desk and picked up a pen and started to write.

Alona frowned and got the hint and left her boss to it. She couldn’t quite work it out, but something was wrong with her boss lately, he was definitely not himself. Despite her curiosity she knew better than not to pursue things.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was scrubbed for an egg extraction. “Okay, the local is in……it’ll still be a tad uncomfortable okay?” he said, trying to reassure his patient. “You’re doing really well though, we’re going to have quite a few eggs from this, things are looking good”. He started to get cramp in his legs. He tried to ignore it, but as he was poised with one of the extraction needles, it became almost unbearable and he was forced to stand up and try to walk it off. “I’m sorry Mrs Bevan….cramp….”. He stripped his gloves off and rubbed furiously at his thighs to try and relieve the intense cramps. Once it had eased off enough for him to be able to ignore again, he sat back down and continued with the procedure. Another thing he had noticed in the past few days was that there was a weird tingling sensation in his nipples, like his scrub top was irritating them. He had tried to brush it off, but knew that it was a combination of the females hormones he was injecting and the pregnancy. The only plus side was that his nausea seemed to be abating and it had been 3 days since he had last thrown up. After he was finished with his patient, he retreated to the privacy of his office where his latest set of blood results awaited him. He pulled out his notebook and opened a fresh page.

 

7 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

SENSITIVE NIPPLES, CRAMPS IN LEGS. WILL UP INTAKE OF CALCIUM FOR THE NEXT 4-5 DAYS. WILL TAKE FINAL BLOODS IN 5 DAYS TIME AND THEN CEASE HORMONE INJECTIONS AND TERMINATE THE EXPERIMENT. 

BLOOD RESULTS TAKEN ONE DAY AGO;

He opened up the envelope and scanned down the list of results. Nothing was changed in the past week except the levels of HcG had increased in line with the stage of pregnancy and his hormone levels were marginally higher which accounted for his new symptoms and continuing side effects of mood swings.

LEVELS ALL SATISFACTORY.

He took his blood pressure and checked his weight and blood sugars and everything seemed fine. He decided that he would stop the anti-emetics seeing as the nausea and vomiting had let up some-what. He felt apprehensive and a sense of relief that the whole ordeal would be over in less than a week and he could go back to normal and regain control of his own body again and mend any tension between him and his staff, especially Jared as he wanted to progress their relationship. He felt bad for not spending enough time with Jared after work or not in the professional sense. He had bought him lunch the other day, a week after he had promised and things had seemed okay between the two of them and Jared was relaxed in his company and they had been joking around like they had before.

He just had to get through the next few days.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 days later, and Jensen found himself sobbing at a diaper commercial on the TV. He certainly had a new found respect for women right now and all the things that their body went through from PMS to pregnancy. His hormones were out of control. He found himself snapping at people and even shouted at the cashier in the grocery store yesterday because she had accidentally short changed him by a mere cent and then forgot to put in the napkins he had asked for his sandwich. At least he had ice-cream, a whole tub of it in fact and he was planning to work his way through the lot of it. As he stabbed at it with his spoon, getting antsy because it was taking too long to thaw out, the phone in the corner of the lounge rang. He wasn’t in the mood to speak to anyone tonight, he just wanted peace and quiet and to be alone with Ben and Jerry. When the phone kept ringing, he grabbed a cushion and threw it violently across the room just as it rang off. 2 more days he kept on saying to himself in his head over and over again. 

48 hours.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, Jared walked up to the front desk and put away one of the files of the patient he had just seen when he saw Jensen on the phone, rolling his eyes and getting all worked up over something. He approached the older man and tried to discreetly listen in on the conversation.

“Really? It’s probably just gas again Mrs Thomas. We’ve just sent you home after examining you, okay? There’s no way you’re in labour. How about you ring me when you’re actually in labour or your water’s break and quit bugging me every 10 minutes, I have other patients to tend to!” Jensen shouted as he forcefully threw the phone down on the desk. “Stupid woman! She’s whined about practically everything so far! Jeez…..I’m volunteering you on that delivery….”. The phone rang again and Jensen almost screamed. “For the love of God!”.

The younger physician intervened and reached for the phone and he answered it calmly and professionally. “No worries, we’ll reschedule you for the afternoon, that’s no problem Ms Sully” he said before putting the phone down. He looked towards his boss who was slamming buttons on the keyboard on the computer. “Jensen? Can we have a word in private please?”.

Jensen snapped his head up to look at his colleague. “About what? Can we not talk here?”.

Jared tried his best professional approach. “I think it will be better if we had this conversation in my office”.

Sighing as loud as he possibly could muster, Jensen got up from the desk and stormed ahead of the other man and into his office.

Closing the door, Jared looked sternly at his boss. “Okay, so I know that you are my boss and that I’m probably speaking out of turn, but I can’t hold my tongue any longer. What is up with you the past week? I mean you’ve been snapping at people, and now patients? This is not like you Jensen! What’s going on?”.

“Nothing, why are people interfering in my life right now? Why can’t people just leave me be! Jeez” the hormonal man said.

“Because it’s affecting our patients Jensen. You’ve worked so hard to build up a rapport with your patients and they all love and admire for that and your calmness and professionalism. Whatever is going on……just sort it out!” Jared said calmly, aware that he was treading on perilous ground here and that Jensen could possibly fire his ass for being ‘inappropriate’.

“Fine…whatever!” Jensen said as he stormed out of Jared’s office and slammed the door behind him causing Jared to flinch and the ground to reverbrate.

The senior physician took off his white coat and threw it down on the desk and headed outside to get some fresh air. He knew he was short tempered, but he was unable to control things. The experiment needed to end, not tomorrow, but tonight before he lost all credibility for his staff and more importantly, his valuable patients who trusted him explicitly. Once he had walked around the block a couple of times, he felt more sedate and calm and walked back into the clinic and put his white coat back on and pulled the chart of his next patient out of the holder and called her in casually under the glare of his colleague. He nodded his head towards Jared and gave a smile.

Jared returned the smile and hoped that his boss was okay.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen had waited until the clinic was empty before he drew blood from himself and checked his vitals. This was it, no more injections, no more check ups. He had proved what he had set out to prove and as far as he was concerned, he had successfully implanted an artificial uterus into someone without one and successfully implanted an embryo into it which had resulted in a pregnancy. He was going to type up his findings and do some more research before he documented and presented his experiment to the FDA. It was a medical breakthrough as far as he was concerned, and he was excited to see how it could pan out. The past 8 weeks had been hell on his body. He wanted one last glimpse of the embryo and the pouch whilst it was still in situ so he pulled up the ultrasound machine and prepped his abdomen with the sticky gel. He moved the probe around on his tummy until the found the embryo. Although still tiny, it was a lot bigger than 2 weeks ago. He could see a tiny pulsating dot in the middle of the blob which showed the heart beating, showing him that the embryo was alive. He couldn’t let himself get too attached. He was going to allow himself 6 weeks respite from tests and scans before he checked up on himself again, and to give time for his hormone levels to deplete enough and the cells to re-absorb into his body. Pressing the button in the middle of the keyboard, he printed out a copy of the scan and stapled it into his notebook. Once he cleaned himself up he evaluated the bloods he had taken a few hours earlier which he had fast tracked through the lab. For the last time, he opened up his beloved notebook.

 

7 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

SCAN SHOWS THE CROWN TO RUMP LENGTH OF THE EMBYO MEASURING AT 1.4 CMS. VIABLE. POUCH STILL REMAINS INTACT. MOOD SWINGS HAVE REACHED THEIR CLIMAX, CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE.

BLOOD PRESSURE; 132/90 (ELEVATED DUE TO STRESS LEVELS)  
BLOOD SUGARS NORMAL  
WEIGHT LOSS HAS BEEN REGAINED FROM THE NAUSEA

EXPERIMENT BEING TERMINATED. LAST HORMONE INJECTION, 2 DAYS AGO. NO MORE INJECTIONS. WILL CHECK BLOODS IN 6 WEEKS TIME AND REPEAT SCAN.

CONCLUSION; SUCCESSFUL INVITRO UTERO PREGNANCY LASTING 7 WEEKS, 6 DAYS. PRELIMINARY DATA MORE THAN SATISFACTORY. 

 

Jensen wiped a tear from his eye as he closed the book and put it back in his desk, burying it at the bottom. He now had to regain some pride and build some serious   
bridges.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-

~2 weeks later~

 

“No way did you just eat all of that in one go!” Jared said incredulously as he watched Jensen devour a sandwich in practically two bites.

Jensen finished chewing and swallowed. “I think that I just did”. It had taken a couple of weeks to recover from the experiment, but now Jensen was back to normal and his appetite had thankfully returned, granted, with a vengeance and he seemed to be famished all the time now that the nausea had abated. He had gained back all the weight he had lost. “Come on, I had a nasty case of gastro and I practically lived off fresh air for weeks”.

The waitress came over and took their empty plates. “Would you like anything else?” she asked, looking between the two men.

Jared shook his head. “No, we’re great thank you”. He was full.

Jensen wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Actually, can I get the pancake special with cream cheese syrup please? Can I get it to go?”.

“Sure thing sweetie” the waitress said as she walked off.

“What? I’m getting them to go!” the older physician said as he looked at a shocked Jared.

“No, I’m not judging. I’m just glad that you’re doing okay, better than you were a few weeks ago. You just looked really ill, you know? And the mood swings….snapping at everyone….” Jared said. He put his hand out and put it on top of Jensen’s. “I was worried about you….that just wasn't you at all”.

“I’m okay now. Really okay! It’s been a really stressful and hectic couple of months and I guess that I let it get on top of me. It won't happen again. I thought maybe we could go see a film later?” Jensen suggested. “And, then back to mine for coffee? You know, coffee!”.

Nodding his head, the younger man smiled. “Yeah, sounds perfect. I was beginning to kinda give up on us, you know?”.

“Oh God, no way! I mean, you’re definitely the hottest ass I’ve got working for me. Plus you’re clever and funny and a hit with the patients. I had some stuff going on that’s all, but that’s all sorted” Jensen said as he swirled his finger around the rim of his glass of orange juice. He was genuinely feeling better and relieved and was now determined to concentrate on the other aspects of his life. He had no lasting effects of the experiment and his body it seemed was slowly getting back to normal. No mood swings, no cramps, no nausea. No tingly nipples, and no peeing all the time. He had a lot more energy and wasn’t as tired. Him and Jared now ate lunch with each other every single day now and had met up after work several times in the past 10 days or so.

“Wow, well…in that case Dr Ackles, I can’t wait for uh hum, Coffee later on at yours. First time at your house. I bet you’re a leather couch and lazy boy recliner kinda guy, right?” Jared asked playfully.

Jensen just blushed and nodded his head. “How do you know? I guess you’ll have to find out later, right?”. The waitress came over with his dessert to go but he couldn’t resist peeking in the container and stuck his finger into the tub of cream cheese syrup. He licked his finger and gave a little contented moan of pleasure. When the other man raised an eyebrow he shrugged his shoulders. “What? Just testing…..besides, I’ve got a very hectic afternoon planned. I’ve got two implantations, an egg extraction, pregnancy tests and a twelve and a twenty week scan, both twins”.

Jared’s pager went off and he checked the number. “And I’ve got an emergency twin c-section to do…..I’ll see you later” he said as he got to his feet and fumbled around in his pocket for his wallet.

“Go….I’ll get it…” Jensen said as he watched Jared leave, checking out the way his pants hugged the globes of his ass perfectly. Suddenly the temptation of the pancakes in front of him became too much and grabbing a fork, he started to tuck into them.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The film, despite the above average ratings it had received, ended up being a complete waste of time and the two physicians were now sat in Jensen’s open plan kitchen with a glass of red wine each.

Jensen took a sip of the wine, something he hadn’t had for a couple of months. This made it taste all the more better. He took small mouthfuls to savour the taste.

Jared nodded his head in approval at the choice of wine. “Very good choice. Where did you get this from?”.

“There’s a little shop in the farmer’s market that sell a range of different wines, it was one of the one’s they recommended to me. It’s been sitting on the wine rack for a few months. So anyway….I hope you showered after being elbow deep in some woman’s uterus…” Jensen smirked as he put down his glass of wine. Jared smelled delicious, his aftershave enticing him in. It was great to be able to get close to him without the smell making him feel nauseous. It was having the complete opposite effect on him right now.

“Likewise!” Jared said jokingly as he moved a couple of inches closer to his boss. Before he had control of what he was doing, he leant in for a kiss, briefly planting his lips onto the other man’s.

When Jared pulled away, Jensen moved back in and prolonged their kiss, deepening it. He felt something hard push up against his own rock hard groin and smiled as they kissed. He pulled away and his hand went down to Jared’s erection and he pressed a hand against it and brushed up and down the soft fabric of his pants. “Do you….want to?”.

“Fuck yeah” Jared said, breathless and aroused. “I mean, only if you want to”.

Jensen grabbed hold of his colleague’s hand and led him up the stairs and into the bedroom where they both fumbled awkwardly onto the bed and hurriedly started to strip off each other’s clothes until they were both naked. “Don’t think I can wait….need to be in you….so bad…..”.

“Yes…” Jared breathed as he rolled over onto his front.

Opening the drawer on his bedside table, Jensen located a bottle of lube and prepped the other man and then applied the warm lube to his own fingers. He worked some of the lube onto his own aching dripping cock which was leaking precum in anticipation of what was coming. He inserted a finger into Jared, then another one, gently pushing them in and out. His cock twitched as the other man bucked up and down at his mercy.

“So good…..another one…..another…harder and faster” Jared begged.

Jensen added another finger. “I need to….be…inside you….right now….”.

“Yessss…..” the younger man urged.

Not hesitating for even a second, Jensen slammed into Jared, thrusting in and out forcefully until they both came hard and fast within seconds of each other. When they were done, they both rolled over and laid on the bed, breathless but satisfied. “God…I needed that….”.

Jared nodded in agreement. “Yeah….does this mean that we’re now exclusive?”.

“I think so. I don’t screw all my employees, so I guess so” Jensen said as he rolled over to face the younger post coital man. “Do you think you’ll be able to go again?”.

“Well…..it’s worth a try, right?” Jared said as he climbed on top of his boss and began kissing down the length of his body.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ 2 weeks later ~

Their relationship had kept escalating and the two physicians were very happy and content with each other. They were still very much in the honeymoon stage of their relationship.

They were both lying in Jensen’s bed, relishing in their post coital state. It was early morning and they had both gotten distracted after their alarms had gone off.

Jared smiled as he circled his fingers around Jensen’s stomach. “Look at this cute little belly. I’d say you’ve gained a few pounds Dr Ackles. Must be your extreme appetite catching up with you!” he joked.

Jensen sat up and frowned as he examined his stomach. He frowned when he realized that his lover was right. He did seem rounder and fuller somehow. “Oh God, you’re right, I’m getting fat!”. 

“No, I didn’t say that. It’s cute, like a little pooch. I wouldn’t say you’re fat. Just well rounded and healthy that’s all. You were looking a little thin and unhealthy a few weeks ago, you’re looking good that’s all. Really happy and content. I can’t quite describe it, you know?” Jared observed.

Jensen brushed off the comments but made a mental note to weigh himself later on. He had gotten so carried away with eating food again and enjoying it, it must have caught up with him. He would try and cut back and not go overboard. He looked at his watch and jumped up out of bed. “Jay….it’s 6.55am, crap, we’ve got to get to work!”.

Jared leapt out of bed and started to fumble around. “Shower?”.

“Yeah, I think we probably should after what we’ve just done!” Jensen said. “You know, we’ll save time if we shower together? Seeing as we're pushed for time, which by the way was totally your fault!!”.

“Takes two to tango Dr Ackles. But I like your thinking” Jared said as he took hold of Jensen’s hand. He smiled and stroked the older man’s skin. “God….your skin is so smooth recently. Have you used anything different? Different moisturiser or anything?”.

“Er, no, I don’t think so!” Jensen said as he ran his hand over his other hand. They did feel smoother but he didn’t have time to dwell on it as they were running late and had to be in the office by 8.00am for their first patient of the day.

They made it into work only 5 minutes late where Alona was sat at the desk and smirked when she saw the two physicians rock up at the front desk, smiling. “Morning doctors….”.

Jensen glanced at his senior nurse. “Morning…..don’t say a thing, okay!”.

Jared bit his lip to stop himself from smirking. “Is my first patient here?”.

Alona held out a clipboard. “Exam room three Dr Padalecki”.

The younger doctor headed off in pursuit of his patient and left Jensen with the blonde nurse. 

Jensen was sat down at the desk, tucking into an apple fritter when he realised that he was being watched intensely by the blonde. “What?”.

The nurse smiled and leant over the desk, chin resting on her hands. “Nothing….you’ve got this look about you recently….like you’re glowing….radiant looking skin….or is that just the sex? Whatever it is, it's working!”.

The senior physician shushed the blonde nurse. “Alona….”.

“Oh, so you didn’t have sex this morning then? My bad, sorry….” Alona said playfully.

“I didn’t say that…..just….not in the waiting room ….patients around….” Jensen said as he took another bite of the fritter in his hand. “Keep it professional”.

“Okay, fine. I’ll go and check the lab to see if there’s any results back yet from yesterday!” Alona said. She patted her boss’ tummy playfully. “Go easy on those fritters Dr Ackles, you’re starting to get flabby”.

Jensen frowned again at the unusual remarks he had received this morning about his skin and how he was putting on weight. Alona had actually used the words ’Glowing’. Suddenly the fritter in his stomach felt awkward and heavy. His appetite had increased tenfold and he was vaguely aware of his subtle weight gain , but had thought nothing of it. Studying his hands, he then ran his hands over his face and realised that his skin felt softer all over. He got to his feet and practically ran into his office and locked the door and went to sit down at his desk as his mind went through all the options. 

There was no way that he was still pregnant so the hormone levels must still be correcting themselves causing the symptoms. He had been taking so much hormones during the experiment, it was probably taking a while for everything to return to normal.  
He was becoming more and more paranoid by the second. Without even thinking about it, he went into the bathroom with a pregnancy test and peed on the little stick. Before he had even pulled up his scrub pants the test had turned pink. He clasped his hand over his mouth in shock and astonishment and went to sit back down at his desk with the stick in front of him. This must be a mistake. There was still probably some residual HcG levels in his body from the embryo breaking down. The result was inconclusive.

Drumming his hands on his desk he did some calculations in his head. If, and this was a big if, he was still pregnant then he would be just over 12 weeks gone. That would mean that the baby would have a detectable heartbeat. He put the ear buds of his stethoscope into his ears and sat poised with the other end in his hand. When his curiosity got the better of him, he hitched up his scrub top and moved the receiving end of the stethoscope over his stomach until he heard it. A thumping whoosing sound of a heartbeat that wasn’t anything to do with his own heart. It was the baby’s heartbeat, perfectly healthy and strong. Suddenly the apple fritter that felt strange in his stomach decided to work its way up and he ran to the sink to purge himself of it as the shock and the nausea became too much for him. Once he had gotten over the initial shock and composed himself, he rolled up his sleeve and jabbed himself with a needle. Armed with his blood sample, he left his office and raced down the corridor to the lab, storming in and causing one of the lab technicians to jump with fright.

“Dr Ackles?”.

“I just need to run the blood sample through the machine. I need some hormone levels checked pronto” Jensen said as he got to work.

The lab tech looked confused. “Well, we can do that for you”.

The senior physician shook his head. “It’s an emergency, I’ll just pop it through myself, no big deal”.

After what felt like an excruciating wait, the machine finally printed out the results and he rushed back to his office, telling Alona to ring his office when his first patient was here. He locked the door and sat back down at his desk and scanned through the list of results. His hormone levels were stable, slightly raised from a month ago according to the continued pregnancy, despite withdrawing the hormone injections. That meant one thing; the placenta must have taken over the hormone production sufficiently enough to sustain the baby.

Opening the drawer to his desk, he rummaged around and found his notebook buried somewhere at the bottom. He never thought that he'd be needing this again. He wasn't even sure what he was going to do with the preliminary data yet, but given the latest development, he had to keep it under wraps seeing as it was far from over. Grabbing it, he flicked through the pages and analyzed some figures from the past 2 months until he opened up a blank page.

 

WEEK 12

SUBTLE GAIN AND CHANGES IN SKIN NOTED. APPETITE AND EATING +++++. PREGNANCY TEST TAKEN AND CAME BACK POSITIVE. BLOOD TESTS SHOW HCG ARE HIGH IN ACCORDANCE WITH 12 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY. NO HORMONE INJECTIONS FOR 4 WEEKS. PLACENTA MUST HAVE TAKEN OVER THE PRODUCTION OF PREGNANCY HORMONES. VERY SHOCKED BUT ELATED. THIS IS NOW A MEDICAL MIRACLE. DESPITE TERMINATION OF EXPERIMENT, PREGNANCY CONTINUED.

 

Getting to his feet, Jensen slowly walked over to the examining couch next to the Ultrasound machine and prepped his abdomen with the gel and immediately grabbed the probe and pressed it onto the slight curve of his abdomen. He still couldn't get his head around it and needed more convincing evidence. A picture of his baby appeared on the screen. It was more than just a pulsating dot, it had arms and legs and a distinct face. It was beautiful. This was now so much more than an experiment, this was his baby, a life that he wanted and needed to protect.

“You clever little baby, hey? Clever thing….wow…..” he marvelled.

Tears breached his eyes as he fully examined and measured the limbs and the face and then looked at the way his baby was curling its fingers around. “Wow…” he whispered to himself. Pressing a button on the machine, it started to whir and print out a copy of the picture. Even having the proof in black and white as a physical confirmation in his hands, he still couldn’t believe it. He was in this for the long haul now, this pregnancy was going to result in a healthy baby being born at the end of it, no matter what it took. He had the knowledge and the resources and he could check up on himself everyday if that’s what it was going take. He also needed to keep this a secret, because if the FDA or the board of medical director’s was to find out about this it wouldn’t just be his medical license in jeopardy, it would be him and his baby. Who knows what they would do on him, turning him into a lab rat, turning him into a circus spectacle and hang him out for the press and the public eye to fawn over him and inflict their beliefs on him. He was yet to publish the initial results yet, so no one knew anything as yet. 

The easy option was for him to disappear for a few months until this was all over, but he had his clinic and his beloved patients to think about. And then there was Jared. Things were just starting to get good in his life again and he didn’t want to leave him. Besides, there was no way for the baby to come out without a C-Section, and try as he might, there was no way he could perform a C-section on himself, he needed help. He would think about that later on. Right now, he just needed to get himself to a major milestone in pregnancy. 26 weeks- when the baby will be viable to survive in the outside world. That would only be 14 weeks from now. 

14 weeks and counting.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once Jensen had overcome the shock of finding out that he was still pregnant and marvelled at how he was now just entering the second trimester, he wandered over to the vending machine and got a diet coke. As he took the first sip from the ice cold can he smiled and watched the younger physician walk over to him.

“Hey!” Jared said happily.

Jensen looked down shyly. “Hey”.

“I’ve been looking for you” Jared said.

“What’s up?” the pregnant man said as rubbed at his stomach as the coke settled the shock and anxious feeling in his stomach.

“There’s this play downtown next Friday, my buddy has hooked me up with a pair of tickets, it’s meant to be really good, I wondered if you’d like to come with me?” the younger man asked as he rummaged around in his white coat.

Jensen smiled sadly. He had made a decision over the past 20 minutes or so and he had already made arrangements for it. “Oh Jared. I would love to, but…”.

“No, it’s fine, it’s okay” Jared said dejectedly.

“Wait, let me explain. I’m going away for a couple of weeks. I just need to get away for a bit. I’ve worked so many extra hours recently, I’m burned out. If you’d have asked me earlier then I’d have said yes. I’ve arranged for Dr Sarah Burnell to come in and cover for me. You’ll like her, you really will. She’s excellent, not quite as good as me, but you know, she’s okay. You’ll learn a lot for her. It’s only two weeks, and I’ll be back.” Jensen said. “It's not you, I just need a break from the clinic that's all. If I didn't need to cover here, then I'd ask you to come with me. I’ll take you out for a meal as a consolation”.

Jared’s disappointment was forgotten and he smiled happily. “Okay. I’ll miss you, but like you said it’s only 2 weeks and you deserve it. The amount of time and effort you put into this clinic, I mean it shows Jensen and everyone needs a vacation from time to time and you have well and truly earnt it for sure, I understand that. It's a bit unexpected that's all, but I understand. When are you going to go?”.

“Next week. I need to tie up some loose ends first. As much as I like Dr Burnell, there’s some patients that I don’t want her to get her hands on. But anyway, you’ve got me around for another week or so. We can go out for food later, my treat?” Jensen suggested, feeling another pang of guilt about the rejection.

“Yeah, I’ll look forward to that” Jared said smiling.

Alona came running up to them. “Jensen? There’s a Janice Smith in reception, she’s a bit distressed because she’s been bleeding. I think she needs a reassurance scan”.

Jensen checked his watch. “Yes, of course, take her through into exam two and I’ll be there now”. When Alona had left them to it again, he cleared his throat. “Pick you up at 8pm?”.

“Absolutely” Jared said. “I better let you get on. Catch you later”.

The senior physician headed in to check on his patient. Picking up her chart, the woman just tugged nervously at her gown, tears staining her cheeks. “Okay Janice, you’ve had some bleeding? A lot?”.

The anxious woman shook her head. “I’m not sure. It was enough. Please, there must be something that you can do. This was our last round of IVF and I can’t lose this baby. I’m 12 weeks, I should be over the risk now”.

Jensen indicated that he wanted his patient to lay back on the bed and lift up her gown. “Bleeding is fairly normal in early pregnancy. It doesn’t mean anything. You need to just try and stay calm for me. I’m going to take a look, see what’s going on”.

Lifting up her gown, she flinched when her doctor covered her in gel and pressed the transducer into her stomach. It was a nerve wracking few seconds but eventually there was a sound of a heartbeat filling the room as well as a flickering image on the screen. “Is that?”.

“Your baby, yes. That’s the best sound in the whole wide world, right? The sound of life beating from inside you. 12 weeks and 2 days. Heart beating, four limbs, lots of movement. Everything looks perfect” Jensen said as he pressed his other hand on his own stomach and smiled happily.

“Thank you Dr Ackles” the grateful patient said.

Wiping the gel from his patient, Jensen looked at his patient more seriously. “I want you to rest up for the rest of the week, no arguments. Complete rest, okay? And then book in to see me in 4 weeks time. If you get anymore bleeding or any cramps then ring my office number directly. I’m away for 2 weeks but Dr Padelecki will be here and so will my replacement”.

“Thank you”.

“Just doing my job” Jensen said as he left his patient to get dressed. As he walked down the corridor, he subconsciously had his hand over his stomach the whole time, his own baby’s heartbeat still echoing in his head.

________________________________________________________________

A week later, and Jensen was all packed for his time away. He was only going to head down the coast for some more sun in San Diego. Nothing special, just him and a luxury hotel room near the beaches. He just needed to organise his thoughts and decide how he was going to proceed with the pregnancy. It was going to be 2 weeks without any blood tests, scans or anything else pregnancy related. He had brought some good novels with him that he been meaning to read for a while, something that he never had the chance to do. There would be one thing, one very special person that he would miss the most; Jared.

He was just putting some paperwork away and locking up his desk when his replacement walked into the room, Dr Burnell. “Sarah. Nice to see you again. Thank you so much for covering for me”.

The red haired physician stood with her arms folded across her chest. “Well, when you asked me to cover, I jumped at the chance, plus I was curious. I’ve known you for 10 years Jensen and I don’t think you’ve ever taken a vacation before. Is everything okay?”.

Jensen rolled his eyes discreetly as he secured the lock on his desk where he was keeping his precious experiment material. “Fine. Like you said I’ve not taken a vacation in 10 years. I’ve been too busy. I take it you’ve already met my employees and Jared?”.

Dr Burnell licked her lips. “Jared? Oh you mean the hottie! Oh yeah we’ve met”.

“Barking up the wrong tree there Sarah” Jensen politely informed her as he hung his white coat up the back of his door.

“Really? Seriously? It’s always the good looking ones. Well, I can still look, can’t I?” the red head said playfully.

Jared walked into the office looking sullen. “You all set? Do you need a lift to the airport?”.

“No, thank you. The taxi should be here in 10 minutes or so. I’ll give you a ring when I land” Jensen said, feeling awkward with the other physician watching them like a hawk.

“Okay” Jared said as he skulked out the room, tail between his legs.

“Oh. You and him, eh? Trouble in paradise?” Dr Burnell said teasingly. “Don’t worry we’ll look after the place. So, do I get to use your office? Oh, I like this!” she said as she picked up an ornament on Jensen’s desk.

Jensen took the ornament out of her hands and gently placed it back down on the desk. “Yes, just don’t touch anything, okay? You’ve got my contact details, so give me a ring if there’s any problems, major problems” Jensen amended. “So, I better get going. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Just try not to scare all my patients away or that’s 10 years of hard work and reputation down the toilet”.

“Relax Jensen. I know how your mind works and how you run this place, so just go enjoy, or sulk away somewhere, whatever you do for kicks on vacation” the red headed physician said as she looked around her temporary office.

Jensen’s lip curled up slightly at how infuriating he found his former colleague sometimes. She was excellent at her job and she available to cover him at such short notice so he didn't have that much choice. He picked up his luggage and shrugged on his coat. “Bye then” he muttered as he left his office and headed for the exit where he passed Jared on the way out. “Walk with me”.

Jared followed his boss as they walked down the corridor and outside where there was a taxi waiting.

“I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye to you, don’t worry. That woman just made feel uncomfortable. Text me, everyday, okay? And you know this place better than Sarah so don’t take any crap from her. I’ll miss you” Jensen said as he reached for the other physician’s hand.

“I'll miss you too” Jared said as he embraced the hand hold. He then plucked up the courage to plant a kiss on the other man’s face.

Jensen smiled at the kiss and grinned the whole way to the airport.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	5. Chapter 5

 

Jensen’s vacation had been pretty great. His face was tanned and he looked and felt pretty good and was excited about seeing Jared again and getting back to work. Except on Monday morning as he was getting ready for work he felt nervous. He had turned up at his office early, before anyone else was there. He was now 15 weeks pregnant and had a definite outward curve in his belly that wasn’t so easy to hide from people that knew him. In San Diego he didn’t have to worry about what he wore and he didn’t feel self conscious. Luckily the weight gain seemed to just be in his middle and no-where else. He was keen to scan himself again to check the baby over and make sure that his blood tests were satisfactory. He was reassured by the weight gain and the indigestion he endured that the pregnancy was still thriving. By half tucking his scrub top into his scrub pants and loosening it out, it was less obvious and once he had his white coat on it was even less so.

 

He had decided that until he had made a decision on what and when to tell Jared, he would fabricate a story that would accommodate his weight gain, tiredness and other symptoms he would get later on. He wasn’t sure how he would bring it up in conversation, so he decided he would wait for as long as possible. Whilst he still had the clinic to himself, he drew some blood and put it in the box to go up to the lab, marking it as urgent. He then prepped himself for another ultrasound scan, something he had not done for nearly 3 weeks. The baby had grown quite substantially since he’d last seen it and was moving around quite a bit although he was yet to feel it. The placenta looked good as did the pouch. He could have stayed like that for the rest of the day, lying on the table, looking at his baby on the screen but his employees would start to arrive soon and he couldn’t risk being seen so he printed off a picture and shut the machine off, quickly deleting the images he had taken and wiping the memory. Going over to his desk, he unlocked the bottom drawer and pulled out his diary which had been neglected for 2 weeks.

 

15 WEEKS GESTATION.

BLOOD DRAW TAKEN, WILL ASSESS RESULTS LATER ON. ULTRASOUND SCAN SHOWS BABY IS NOW MEASURING 4 INCHES FROM CROWN TO RUMP. BABY ACTIVE ON SCAN BUT NO FETAL MOVEMENTS DETECTED AS YET. WILL SCAN AGAIN IN 2 WEEKS AND TRY TO DETERMINE GENDER. DON’T FEEL AS TIRED, NAUSEA GONE COMPLETELY. FEEL REFRESHED AFTER 2 WEEK VACATION. OBVIOUS SWELLING IN THE STOMACH, WEIGHT GAIN NOT EXCESSIVE AND WITHIN NORMAL LIMITS OF THIS STAGE OF PREGNANCY. WILL CONTINUE TO MONITOR NOW ON A DAILY BASIS AS SAFELY INTO THE SECOND TRIMESTER.

 

Jensen smiled as he scribbled the last sentence and closed the diary and put it back into the drawer. He heard commotion in the corridor and the distinct voices of Jared and Dr Burnell. Him and Jared had kept in touch on a daily basis and their text messages and late night phone calls had gotten more and more serious. Opening the door to his office he walked out into the corridor and greeted his colleagues, pulling his coat around him and putting his hands into the pockets. “Morning”.

 

Jared bit down on his lip and smiled shyly as he looked at his boss. He looked tanned and really gorgeous from his vacation. “Morning, you’re in early. You look, good” he said hesitantly as he looked for the right words that were appropriate in front of the other physician.

 

“Thank you. I wanted an early start, catch up on my paperwork and get filled in on what’s been happening here over the past 2 weeks. Anything I need to know about?” Jensen asked as he moved his hands around in his pockets nervously.

 

Dr Burnell looked at Jared and then back at the senior physician. “Not much. We’ve gotten along great haven’t we Jared. Er, Mrs Bowen delivered her twins, 6 weeks early, but all 3 are doing well. A few implantations, routine scans, and a couple of negatives, that’s it really, been fairly quiet”.

 

“Who were the negatives?” the pregnant physician asked as he tried to remember back on his implantations from a few weeks ago.

 

Jared screwed up his face as he tried to remember. “Um, the Mason’s……..and the Finley’s”.

 

Jensen‘s face fell. “Oh damn it. Okay, I’ll maybe give them a ring later personally to see where they want to go from here. Anything else?” .

 

The red head shrugged her shoulders. “Nope. Well I’ve been on call for you all weekend, so here’s your pager back, I’m off home to bed. I’m sure we’ll catch up soon somewhere along the way. And yeah, you look pretty good. I can’t describe it, but that vacation has worked wonders”. With a wink she swung her coat over her right shoulder and sauntered off down the corridor, her high heels clicking as she went.

 

“So. Did things really go that well then? Did you really get on well with her?” the older physician asked sceptically.

 

“Well, she was, interesting. It was fine, really. She just wasn’t you that’s all. She may have let’s say ruffled some feathers, with a couple of your patients, but nothing that can’t be sorted, which I did, so it’s fine. Her and Alona bickered practically the whole time and……well I think she fancied me because she kept staring at me in that way if you know what I mean. It was intimidating”. Jared’s frown then turned to a smile as he leant in and kissed Jensen on the lips.

 

Something stirred inside Jensen when he received the kiss and he was hungry, eager and keen for more. His hands flew out of his pockets and wrapped around Jared’s waist and pressed himself into him. He was suddenly horny like you wouldn’t believe. He smirked to himself when he realised that many of his patients had come to him with the same complaint of being horny during the second trimester. His pregnancy was textbook. “Mmmm, I’ve missed you” he said in between sloppy kisses.

 

“Me too” Jared said as he looked up at the clock. “You know, Alona is not due in for another 20 minutes, and it’s a Monday morning so she’s usually late. Do you want to, you know?!”.

 

Jensen didn’t need to be asked again. Grabbing his colleague’s hand he dragged them into exam room three, turned the sign to ‘occupied’, locked the door and pulled down the blinds. “Mmmmmm. Get those scrubs off Dr Padalecki”.

 

Jared stripped off as quickly as he could, fumbling around and nearly tripping over his shoes as he went. “As you wish Dr Ackles”. He climbed up onto the examining table and reached out for his boss and removed his white coat.

 

The senior physician pulled down his scrub pants and was about to remove his scrub top when he remembered about the newly formed bump under it and how self conscious he had felt not even 10 minutes ago. “No time, come on, let’s just do it” he said as he clambered up on top of the other man and resumed their kissing.

 

“Mmmm, I love these lips, and this body” Jared purred as he reached out and put his hands on Jensen’s hips, running his hands up and over his tummy where it felt firm and round. He knew how sensitive the other man had gotten last time he had mentioned it so he refrained.

 

Jensen rolled his eyes impatiently as he pushed Jared’s hand off his tummy. “For God’s sake, stop being a girl about it and just let me fuck you, okay?”.

 

Jared didn’t argue and got himself into position.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

15 minutes later, the two physicians emerged from the exam room sated and happy, although a little exhausted and their day hadn’t even begun. The sex was hot and very naughty. They were both glad that Jensen was the boss because that would have been a sure fire way to get fired. As they walked side by side down the corridor, they saw Alona sitting at the front desk eating a breakfast burrito and reading a magazine.

 

“All caught up are we?” the blonde asked, with a massive smirk on her face.

 

Jensen cleared his throat. “Yes, thank you. How long have you been here?”.

 

Alona gave a cheeky smile. “Long enough”.

 

“But you are always late on a Monday!” Jared protested.

 

“Well, I wasn’t today. It’s Jensen’s first day back so I thought I’d come in early, catch up, bring you breakfast burritos” the blonde nurse said as she pointed to the box on the desk. “But if you’ve already eaten….”.

 

Jared pouted as he reached out for a burrito. “Thank you Alona. Jensen, you going to have one?”.

 

Jensen realised he hadn’t eaten breakfast yet and his stomach was starting to growl fiercely at its lack of food. “Absolutely, thank you. So, did you miss me?”.

 

Wiping her mouth and her hands on a napkin, Alona finished off her breakfast and nodded. “Oh yes. That red haired bitch sure was fiery. I’m a nurse, a fully qualified registered nurse, not her personal cleaner up-perer or personal assistant. Don’t ever leave again, will you? So anyway, are you two exclusive now then or what?”.

 

“No!” the two physicians shouted pretty much the same time.

 

Raising her hands in defeat, the nurse shook her head. “Okay. Here are the patient files for today. First patients are booked for 8.30am. So that gives you both enough time to brush your hair and freshen up”. When she was met with vacant stares, she folded her arms across her chest. “Dudes, you stink of sex!”.

 

Jared looked at Jensen and then they both looked at the blonde.

 

“Fine. I’ll be in my office if you need me” Jensen said as he headed off down the corridor with his burrito.

 

“Me too” Jared said sulkily. He took a bite of his burrito and nodded. “Good burrito, thank you!” he shouted out as he walked off to his office.

 

 

Jensen had just had his latest blood test results back and there had been a slight dip in his hormone levels so he figured he would need another top up. He had the syringe prepped and ready to go and had moved his scrub pants down to expose the top of his thigh. Just as he was about to administer the injection, there was a knock on the door shortly followed by Jared making an appearance. “Get out!”.

 

Jared was taken back as he caught a glimpse of his boss injecting himself with something. He quickly retreated and shut the door behind him.

 

The pregnant physician quickly finished up the injection and rubbed his thigh to alleviate the sting. Luckily he wasn't doing anything more than giving himself an injection because he had obviously forgotten to lock the door behind him. He left his office and located Jared by the nurses station. “Jared? Can I have a word with you in private please?”.

 

“Yes, sure” the younger physician answered as he followed his boss back down the corridor and into his office. “Look, I'm sorry for just opening the door and coming in, I should have waited for your response”.

 

“No-it's fine” Jensen replied. “I mean, yes you probably should have done, but I should have locked the door. I think I should probably explain to you?”.

 

“There's no need. What you do in your own office is none of my business, okay?” Jared was surprisingly calm about the whole thing.

 

Jensen smiled. “I'm just a little tired and run down. I'm slightly anaemic too so I was giving myself a shot of Iron and B-12”.

 

“Oh-okay. But, you know, you could have just told me and asked me to do it for you? It's not nice injecting yourself. You can tell me things Jensen, we are in a relationship” the younger man said as he felt somewhat relieved that his boyfriend wasn't a secret drug addict.

 

“I'm sorry, okay? It was just a shot, that's all. So, I don't really feel like cooking later, so do you want to go out for dinner? My treat?” Jensen offered, feeling a pang of guilt for lying.

 

“Yeah, that sounds good, now that I know that you're not a druggie shooting up!” Jared laughed.

 

Jensen smiled. “Great. I'll see you later” he said as he watched his lover walk away. Sighing heavily he felt another pang of guilt rack through his body at the true extent of his deceit.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jensen was sat at the front desk eating his sandwich and checking some patient records on the computer seeing as there was no-one waiting to be seen. Over the past 10 days, there hadn’t been much change in his condition. His bloods were fine and the hormone levels were more than satisfactory. He was going to scan himself again in a few days. He was fed up of calling the baby an ‘it’ and was keen to find out the gender. Just over 17 weeks would be quite hard to see, but he felt confident in his abilities, given that he had done more than his fair share of scans over the years and was more than capable of determining the gender at this early stage.

 

Jared had gone to the deli across the road with Alona to pick some food up. When they returned, Jensen was polishing off his second sandwich.

 

“Did someone skip breakfast this morning?” Alona piped up. It was an innocent question.

 

Jensen was feeling quite bloated and grumpy today so wasn’t in the mood. He had actually had more than a substantial breakfast but didn’t want to admit that. “Yeah, something like that. Why do you two keep going on about my weight all the time!”.

 

“We’re not. We never mentioned anything about your weight! Besides, it’s not that big a deal. So you’ve put on a few pounds around the middle. You still look great” Jared said as he tried to placate his boss. He gave Alona a warning look to drop it.

 

The pregnant physician was suddenly struck with a pang of heartburn and he rubbed just above his diaphragm. “Whatever. Maybe there’s a valid reason why I’m getting fat!”.

 

“No one said you were fat, we never mentioned that word Jensen”. Jared noticed his boss rubbing his tummy and wincing. “Are you okay?”.

 

“I’m fine. I ate my lunch too fast, not that anyone cares. It's just a bit of heartburn” Jensen moaned.

 

Alona smiled sympathetically. “Wait, I got some tablets for that in my handbag, hang on a second” she said as she retrieved them and handed them over.

 

Jensen quickly took note of the name and took one when he saw that they were safe to take during pregnancy. “Thank you”.

 

Jared looked at Jensen who was now hiccupping. “Why are you being so defensive about this? Do you want to tell us what’s really going on here? Whatever it is, we can help, I’m sure”.

 

Once, the hiccups had subsided enough, Jensen sat upright in his chair and sighed. Jared hadn't probed anymore after he had walked in on him injecting, but even so, he knew this time was coming at some point and now here it was, his well rehearsed story. “Fine. I’m going to be putting on a lot more weight in the next few months so get used to it. I’m probably going to be grumpy and tired too, so head’s up. Probably swollen feet and ankles and many more different ailments”.

 

Alona laughed. “Well, you’ll be in good company then with all your patients”. When her boss didn’t look as amused, she stopped and turned serious. “Okay, what’s wrong?”.

 

“I’ve got problems with my thyroid, I’m under going tests at the moment but they’ll probably have to dose me with steroids hence the potential mood swings and weight gain. So now you know and you can drop it, okay?” Jensen said bluntly.

 

Jared looked worried. “Oh Jensen, why didn’t you say anything before? We could have helped. Has this got anything to do with the anaemia and B-12 injections? Who’s your physician, because I know this guy upstate who’s meant to be the one of the best Endocrinologist in the West….”.

 

“It’s fine. That's a lot of questions! It’s all under control, it should resolve in a few months” the pregnant man said as he got to his feet and brushed his hands on his coat and pulled it around his front. He was done with this conversation and had said what he wanted to say. He didn't want them to probe him further on the matter. “I’ll be in my office. Intercom me when my 2pm turns up”.

 

Alona watched her boss walk away and then she turned her attention to the other physician. “So you didn’t know about this either then?”.

 

Biting down on one of his nails, Jared shook his head. “Not a clue. I knew about his anaemia and B-12 shots, but he never told me anything more. I mean I guess it would explain his erratic behaviour over the past couple of months, the irritability, changes in appetite. Him taking a vacation. Poor thing. I don’t know why he’s kept this to himself, I mean, we're dating, I guess”. He felt almost hurt that his boss hadn't told him sooner.

 

The blonde nodded. “Well I know what you physicians are like, you make the worst patients. And maybe he didn’t want to complicate things between the two of you either, maybe he’s scared because he’s in a new relationship, plus he's a very proud man, he probably didn't want to make a fuss or feel like he's a burden. He's not used to being on the other side”.

 

“Yeah you’re right. Start lunch without me, I’ll go and see if he’s alright. He’s left the rest of his lunch. I’ll catch you up” Jared said as he scooped up the rest of the sandwich and headed to his boss’s office.

 

Jensen sighed with relief somewhat at getting his ‘story’ out in the open. He hoped that it would dampen their curiosity for a couple of months at least so he could relax a little bit more. He needed to lessen any stress and concentrate on his baby. He was washing his hands by the sink when there was a tentative knock on his door. He knew who it would be. “Come in”.

 

Jared walked in and put the half eaten sandwich down on the desk. “I thought you might want the rest of this”.

 

“Thank you” the older physician said as he dried his hands with paper towels and threw them in the trash. “So…now you know. I know it doesn’t excuse my behavior, but, well that's why. If you want to step back from us, our I’m not sure what we are…..relationship I guess, then I understand totally”.

 

“What? You’ve got a little problem with your health and you think I’m going to just walk away? I’m a physician, you are going to need me around you even more, check you over, help you with your meds and stuff. I'm just annoyed that you didn't tell me sooner, because I could have helped. I’m not going anywhere, I mean, unless you want me to?” Jared checked.

 

The pregnant physician smiled and shook his head. “No, of course I don’t want you to. But on the condition that you let my physician be my physician and you be my….boyfriend? No fretting about my health, or checking up on me, okay?”.

 

Jared smiled at the word boyfriend. “Okay, I can deal with that. It’s just, what have they said exactly? What tests have you had done? Have they tried thyroxin, or are they going maybe try something like nuclear medicine therapy? Steroids aren't always the first option”.

 

Jensen shook his head and moved closer to the other man and put his fingers on his lips. “Jared? It’s all under control, that’s all you need to know. Now will you be my boyfriend, I mean officially, yes or no?”.

 

The younger man pushed Jensen’s finger off his lips and he leaned in for a kiss, slow, tender and long. “Absolutely. Mmm. And so what if you get fat from steroids, I think you’ll still look super cute. It's not going to change how I feel about you”.

 

“Really? I’m probably going to swell up to the size of a whale. Ass too!” Jensen said jokingly.

 

“Wow, I’m hoping so. More to look at. How about I take you out for food tonight? Just let me know what you fancy and I’ll hook us up. Finish off your sandwich, you are going to need your strength for later” Jared said teasingly, winking as he walked away.

 

Jensen nearly choked on his sip of water.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

~ 17.5 weeks ~

 

Once again, Jensen had stayed late after work. He checked on his latest set of blood results and adjusted his injections accordingly. Tugging off his white coat, he prepped his rounded stomach with gel and pressed the probe onto it. A picture of his baby flicked up onto the screen. It had been a couple of weeks since the last scan, but in that time it had grown quite a bit and the features had become a lot more pronounced. He was hopeful that he would be able to find out the sex. After taking some measurements of the limbs and checking out the heartbeat he relaxed somewhat more. “Come on baby, move” he said as he tried to encourage it to turn around so he could see. It was very active, although he had yet to feel anything. He eventually managed to coax the baby to turn around with the probe and he got a good look between its legs. “Oh my God, hey baby girl. You’re a girl! Definitely a girl. Oh wow”. His emotions had gotten too much. He put the probe down and froze the image on the screen as tears ran down his face. He wrapped his hands around his stomach in a protective way.

 

A few minutes later, his stomach rumbled protesting its lack of food. He checked his watch and realised how late in the evening it was. Getting himself together, he cleared up the room, locked up his office and headed out, all the while with a massive smile on his face. He was about to leave through the main doors when he passed Jared in the corridor. “You been called in?”.

 

Jared nodded. “Yeah, false alarm though, that baby is staying where it is for tonight at least. You headed home now? Another late one?”.

 

Jensen was about to nod when his stomach growled loudly. He smiled in embarrassment. “Yeah. I was going to get some food first though. I’m pretty hungry”.

 

“Me too. I was in the middle of my meal when I got called in. How about you come to mine? It’s all ready to go, we just need to reheat it up in the pan for a few minutes. Pasta and carbonara sauce. You can stay the night too if you like, I’ve got an endless supply of clean scrubs”. Jared smiled and moved a few inches closer to his boss. “I mean, only if you want to”.

 

The promise of food was enough to sway the older physician. “Yes, of course I do. It sounds amazing”. Jensen still had a big smile on his face from the revelation that he was carrying a baby girl.

 

Jared had picked up on Jensen’s happy mood. “Are you okay? You look like the cat who got the cream!”.

 

“Yeah, something like that. I’m just, happy, really happy, and very hungry so let’s go. I guess we need to take both cars in case you get called in again” Jensen said.

 

“Cool, I’ll meet you there” Jared said as he pressed a cheeky kiss on the other man’s lips.

 

Jensen’s smile broadened. “I’ll catch you up, I just need to lock up. Get that food heated up okay!”.

 

Jared saluted as he hot footed it down the corridor.

 

The pregnant physician put a hand tentatively on his stomach and leant up against the wall and closed his eyes as he pictured his tiny daughter moving around inside him almost willing himself to feel the tiniest movement. He knew that it would be any day now. He already had a name in mind and what he would dress her in and what he would teach her. She was his future now. He still had a long way to go before she could be delivered safely enough for her to thrive, but every day was an achievement and every week more was a miracle. After locking up the clinic, he headed to Jared’s house and he was knocking on the door 15 minutes later.

 

True to his word, Jared had food on the table seconds after Jensen sat down. “Let’s hope I can at least finish my food before I get another page. It’s been pretty hectic the past few weeks, right? Things come in waves!”.

 

Jensen just nodded in agreement as he wolfed down his food, barely registering the taste. It felt like he hadn’t eaten in days. He would have killer heartburn later on but for now he didn’t care. “At least we are due for a string of deliveries soon. That’s always my favourite part. Seeing the look and elation on the parents faces after all they’ve been through. That’s why I do what I do”.

 

“I know it’s incredible knowing that we are helping these couples become parents. Have you ever thought about having children? I mean, you know, adopting one day or something?” Jared asked as he took a pause from eating and looked intensely at his boss.

 

“I, er….” Jensen stuttered. He wasn’t expecting this. He smiled at the irony. “Yeah, I’d love to, one day perhaps. What about…..you?”.

 

“Oh yeah. I’d love a house full of kids running around. If I had the tackle I’d have them myself, but I’d definitely look into a surrogate for sure” Jared laughed.

 

Jensen paled. He suddenly didn’t feel as hungry. He put down his fork and leant back in his chair.

 

Jared’s expression turned serious. “Are you okay?”.

 

“Yeah” the pregnant man said. His throat was dry and it came out as a hoarse whisper. He took a sip of water to wet his mouth and tried again. “Yeah I’m fine”.

 

“I didn’t mean to freak you out talking about kids and stuff. I just said that you know, one day. Look, never mind, forget that I mentioned it. How’s your food?” Jared said as he signalled to the other man’s half finished bowl of pasta.

 

Jensen nodded as he pushed some pasta around in his bowl with his fork. The revelation that the other man wanted kids one day had come as a shock but he didn‘t really know why. “Yeah it’s good. I think I’m done now. I guess my eyes were bigger than my belly” he said with a little chuckle at the end at the irony.

 

“You look tired. Why don’t you go sit on the couch and I’ll clear away these dishes” the younger physician said as he got to his feet and grabbed the dishes.

 

“I should be the one clearing away, you’re the one that’s on-call tonight” Jensen said insistently.

 

Jared waved off the other man’s offer. “Go and sit down will you, it won't take me long to do”.

 

“Fine” Jensen said as he yawned. He wandered into the lounge and made himself comfy on the couch. He closed his eyes, only intending to rest them for just a minute or so.

 

When Jared went in to join his boyfriend a few minutes later, he found the other man fast asleep. He looked too exhausted to wake up. Picking up the blanket from the arm of the couch, he draped it over him to keep him warm. He was about to contemplate his next move, when his pager went off. He checked the number and silenced it as not to disturb Jensen. He quietly snuck out of the door and headed to the clinic.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jensen awoke suddenly and it took him a few moments to realise where he was. He must have fallen asleep on Jared’s couch embarrassingly. Checking the time on his watch he realised the reason why he had suddenly been woken up- there was someone in the kitchen. He got up and strolled into the next room to find Jared downing a glass of water. “You okay?”.

 

“Hey sleepy head” Jared teased. He looked worn out and slightly disheveled. It was 1am and he was just getting back home from the clinic.

 

“Yeah, sorry. You invite me over and I fall asleep on you. I'm guessing you're up because you got called back in?” Jensen asked, feeling guilty as Jared had offered to do the on-call instead of him.

 

“It’s fine. You were obviously a lot more tired than you thought. Yeah, there was a difficult delivery that they needed me for. Ended up being an emergency c-section, but mother and baby are doing well” Jared said as he tried to stifle a yawn. “You still look exhausted Jensen. Come to bed, because that’s where I’m headed, finally!”.

 

Jensen nodded once and followed the other man up to bed.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Jensen was balanced on a stool as he scanned one of his patients. His back had started to protest slightly at his weight gain and wasn’t best pleased at his posture. “So you are now at 18 weeks and 2 days according to the measurements here on the scan. Everything looks good”. He moaned as he arched his back to stretch it momentarily.

The pregnant woman smiled at the image of her miracle baby on the screen. “Wow, still amazes me that there is something growing inside of me. I know you say that I’m right on target but I feel huge right now”.

The physician nodded in agreement as he placed a hand over his stomach. He felt like the baby was putting on a growth spurt and he was rapidly gaining weight by the day despite what the scales told him. “You are doing just great Mrs Henderson, not to worry”.

“I haven’t felt the baby move yet. Is that normal? Should I have felt something yet? What does it feel like anyway?”.

Jensen finished scanning and handed his patient some paper towels so she could dry herself off with. “That’s fine, that's perfectly normal. It will be any day now until around 21 weeks. Unless you know what to look out for you may not even notice that it’s moving. It may feel like gas, or bubbles in your tummy, some say it feels like little butterflies. Then it will feel and become more definite as the baby gets bigger. Try lying down and closing your eyes in the night and concentrate and you might feel something. Trust me, when that baby starts moving, there will be no stopping it!”. He looked down and realised his hand was still pressed up against his swollen stomach. Feeling self conscious he stood up and pulled his coat around him. He felt like everytime he touched his stomach he was going to get caught out even though he knew it was ridiculous.

“Thank you Dr Ackles. I’ll see you in 2 weeks for another scan, right? My husband will be joining me too. We get to find out whether we need pink or blue, I can’t wait”.

“Take care Mrs Henderson” Jensen hollered back to his patient. Once she was gone, he filled in the paperwork and headed out to the nurses station. “Can you file this away for me please Alona?”.

“Sure thing”. Alona took the file from her boss and placed it down on the desk. She went back to reading her book.

Jensen was leant over her trying to read over her shoulder when he felt a popping sensation from somewhere inside his belly. He clasped a hand over it. “Ooh”.

Alona looked up from her book and turned to look at her boss who had a look of bewilderment and surprise on his face. “Jensen?”.

“I’m fine. Just a little gas or something from eating lunch too fast. The joys of a busy schedule. I’ll be in my office, buzz me when my next appointment is here”. The pregnant man almost ran down the corridor into his office and he clambered up onto the examining couch and laid down. He closed his eyes and laid his hands on his tummy and concentrated on the feeling, slowing his breathing down so that he was completely focused on any movements. It took a couple of minutes but eventually he felt another popping sensation and it confirmed the baby’s movements. He smiled and rubbed his belly affectionately. He then went over to his desk and took out his faithful diary and began to scribble down some notes. 

 

17 WEEKS 6 DAYS  
FELT THE BABY MOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY. FELT LIKE LITTLE BUBBLES. WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE MY ELATION OVER THIS. IT’S THE REASSURANCE THAT I NEED THAT MY BELOVED BABY IS THRIVING.

Just as he was putting his diary away in the drawer he felt another movement and he sat back in his chair with his hands once again over the swell. The baby was showing off now. The door flew open and Jared walked in, interrupting the moment.

“Jensen? Sorry to disturb you, but I need your help in Exam 4”. Jared couldn’t help notice that Jensen had his hands on his tummy again, something that he did a lot recently for whatever reason. Maybe the medication he was on was causing some sort of discomfort. 

Jensen was straight to his feet. “Everything okay?”.

“Yeah, I can’t seem to locate the optimal place for implantation. I can’t keep prodding her all day long, bless her, so I thought you could have a go for me. You are the expert after all” Jared said admirably to his boss.

“Kiss-ass” Jensen said jokingly as his hand fluttered over his middle once again but the sensations had stopped much to his disappointment.

“Oh yeah? Don’t tempt me, I’d love to kiss your ass right now!” Jared teased. “Is your tummy alright?”.

“Yeah, why?” the pregnant physician asked as he moved his hands into his pockets nervously. 

“You keep touching it, are you sick again?” the younger man asked concernedly.

Jensen wasn’t aware that he was touching it all the time. It must have become almost a reflex action or instinctual. It was hard to resist, especially now he had felt the baby moving. “It’s fine. Just gurgling a little bit, no big deal. Okay, so talk me though what you’ve tried so far”.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Both physicians were in the O.R to do a planned C-section for the delivery of triplets, something that didn't come around too often. Jensen had let his colleague take the lead on this one as it was his first triplet delivery and more complex than anything he had done before and would gain from the experience immensely. He was more than happy for him to take the lead on this one. It had been a hectic morning as it was and lunch had been forgotten about.

“How are you doing over there Mrs Caleb? We are about to make the first incision and get Baby A out. You might feel some tugging and pulling but that is going to be completely normal, okay?” Jensen reassured his patient. When he received a nod from her, he turned his attention back to Jared. “Okay Dr Padalecki, same as usual, but you are cutting a little more over here”. His hands wrapped around Jared’s as he helped move the scalpel.

Jared was deep in concentration as he made the first incision. He had delivered twins several times before but this was his first lot of triplets so naturally he was nervous but he had felt reassured that the senior physician was literally by his side. “Okay, I see the sac. Ready?”.

Jensen nodded his head. His vision went blurry momentarily as a hot flush washed over him. “Can someone wipe my brow please?” he asked.

One of the nurses patted down his forehead with a clean swab. “You okay Dr Ackles?”. She could sense that he wasn't quite right.

“Fine” Jensen said unconvincingly. He now felt giddy. He was scrubbed up and had a hat and mask on which suddenly felt stifling hot and restrictive. He peered over to see what stage Jared was at to take his mind off his predicament. There was no way he was flaking out in the O.R in front of his employees and patient. “Good. See, it’s the same really but just a slight difference in the entry point”. He grabbed onto the edge of the table as he felt himself start to drift sideways.

“First baby is out!” Jared said ecstatically almost at the same moment as the baby emitted a cry to let them know he had been born. “Boy”.

Jensen nodded his head. “Okay, so the next two should be straightforward enough” he told Jared. “Mr and Mrs Caleb, congratulations he is gorgeous and looks a fairly good size too so we’ll get his sisters out now”. Another wave of dizziness assaulted him and he closed his eyes to reset his centre of gravity and clutched onto the table with his other hand. Luckily Jared was too caught up in what he was doing to notice. He managed to motion to one of the nurses.

“What can I get you now Dr Ackles?” the nurse whispered discreetly.

“There’s the slight possibility- strong possibility” he corrected “that I may pass out so can you please bring me over a chair and get me a glass of water, as cold as possible please?” the pregnant physician uttered back.

The nurse had pushed a stool in behind under the physician within a few seconds and hurried off to get water.

“Second baby out, girl!” Jared shouted out as he handed over the baby to a waiting nurse who took her immediately. “One more” he said as he looked over to his boss who he realised was sat down. He furrowed his brow and looked concerned but had to concentrate on getting the last baby out so he didn't have too much time to dwell on it.

Before Jared could say anything, Jensen interjected. “I’m fine, carry on”. When he saw the nurse come back with his glass of water, he pulled his mask down so that she could put the straw into his mouth so he could drink. Given that he was sterile he wasn’t actually allowed to touch the plastic cup. After downing the glass of much needed cold water he nodded for her to take it away.

“Anything else I can get you? You don’t look so great” the nurse asked worriedly.

Jensen shook his head. “I’m fine thank you Laura. Take the baby, she’s nearly out. She's the smaller one of the three so she may need a little extra help”.

And with that, the final baby was delivered.

“Well done Mrs Caleb, you have been amazing. The nurses are just checking over the babies, but by the sounds of their cries, they are doing just fine. I need to stitch you up now, okay?” Jared said. He looked down and found his patient to be bleeding a little more than the norm. He thought he had it under control at first but then it kept on bleeding. “Jensen? Can you come take a look please?”.

The older physician got to his feet quickly, almost forgetting that he was on the verge of passing out. He regretted the sudden movement but managed to correct himself and avoid the embarrassment of being horizontal on the OR floor.

“Woah, you okay? Do you need me to call someone else up?” Jared asked as he carried on with the suction.

“It’s fine. O-okay. Mrs Caleb? You are losing quite a bit of blood here, but we are going to get you all sorted, I promise” Jensen said reassuringly. He hollered over to the anaesthesiologist to get a couple of units of blood to transfuse with. “It’s okay Jared, you are doing fine. You’ve done this a hundred times before, just focus on where it’s coming from and clamp it”. 

Jared looked at his boss and found his confidence again as he located the nicked vessel. “Okay, got it. Stitch please”.

Jensen exhaled slowly with relief and stepped away from the table in a small calculated movement . “Congratulations Mommy and Daddy. Dr Padalecki has more than got a hand on things here, I’ll leave you to it”. As soon as he stepped out of the O.R and into the scrub room he tore off his hat, mask, gloves and gown and threw them into the trash as he panted with relief. Another minute or so and he reckoned that he would be horizontal on the O.R floor. Checking his watch he realised that he had missed lunch. He made a mental note to himself that being pregnant, hot and skipping food was not a good combination. Heading straight to the nearest vending machine he bought a few candy bars to tide him over until he could get back downstairs to his office for his lunch. He was on his second candy bar when Jared appeared in the corridor, de-scrubbed and looking sweaty.

“All stitched up, babies are perfect and Mrs Caleb’s blood pressure is fine. I’d call that a success, wouldn’t you?” Jared said as he flopped down on a chair next to his boss. “You feeling okay? Did you nearly flake out on me in there? I know it was a little warm but you're more than used to working in that environment”.

“Low blood sugar, nothing a candy bar can’t sort out” the older physician said as he demolished the second bar.

“Or two? Couldn’t even save me a bite, eh?” Jared said jokingly. “Do you want me to do the final checks on them in there or do you want to?”.

“It’s okay, I’ll do it. You did all the hard work in there, you need to eat something. Here” the older man said as he pulled out another candy bar from his pocket. “I’ll be down in a bit”.

Jared smiled as he took the candy bar and went off to get some food whilst Jensen headed into the recovery room where his patient and new arrivals were. He checked the transfusions and newest set of vital signs and nodded his head. “Everything is looking great Mrs Caleb. You lost a little bit of blood, nothing too drastic, but the blood transfusion is just a precaution. You did amazingly well. I’ll just check the babies now”.

Mrs Caleb clutched her husband's hand as tears flowed down her face. “Thank you Dr Ackles and to Dr Padalecki too. You’ve given us a family and I can’t thank you enough”.

This was Jensen’s favourite part of the job, reaping the rewards of his hard work. “I just gave you a little helping hand, these were determined little embryos for them all to stick. They are beautiful. Like we discussed they’ll need to be kept in for a week or so because naturally they are a little smaller than usual newborns, but they are all a decent birth weight and will thrive”. He put his hand into one of the cribs and the baby grabbed his finger and held on tight. His breath hitched up in his chest and he smiled as he felt a rush of emotions that he had never experienced like this before, strong maternal instincts. “Hey sweetheart, you are a little miracle, aren’t you, just like your brother and sister. So precious”. His baby gave a little flutter inside of him, something that he had not felt in a few days. He smiled again, more pronounced this time. “I’ll leave you to it. Try and rest Mrs Caleb and I’ll check up on you before I leave for the night. Take care all”. He looked at the nurse. “Page me if anything changes”.

The nurse nodded her understanding.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was finishing up for the day and had no plans to stay on at the clinic tonight. One of the other Doctors was on-call for the night so he intended on going home and pigging out on the couch.

Jared popped his head around the corner. “Are you done?”.

“Yeah I am, I’m about to head home” the pregnant physician said happily. 

“Excellent because tonight I’m taking you out. One of my friends is opening this new bar downtown tonight and it’s free bar for the first two hours, free buffet, live band, it’s going to be great. You’ve been working far too hard recently so I’m taking you out. Go home, put on your best shirt and dancing shoes. Cab will be with you for 7.30pm” Jared said excitedly.

Jensen tried not show his lack of enthusiasm. He just wanted to relax and put his feet up and work his way through the tub of ice-cream he had been promising himself all day. But Jared’s face was too adorable not to turn down. “Sounds brilliant. I’ll see you then”. 

Jared danced his way out of his office. “It’s a date then! Woohoo!”.

When the excited man was out of view, Jensen slumped back in his chair and groaned inwardly. If he wasn’t feeling so tired and quite frankly pregnant, he would have loved nothing better than to go out with Jared. Alcohol was off the cards, but free food was something he could manage. He figured he could do a couple of hours and still be home and in bed for 10pm. He hoped that Jared wouldn’t want sex afterwards because his tired body would not be able to manage anything afterwards. His bed was definitely going to be used for just sleeping later on. This pregnancy was taking a toll on his body again. There were some days that he felt quite energised, but the tired days were superceding the non-tired days. He suddenly went into panic mode when he realised that none of his shirts would fit him anymore as he had gained another pound this week alone. A detour to the mall on the way home would be needed. Finally, he managed to drag himself up from his chair and headed to his car.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The party was in full swing when the two physicians entered the busy bar. There was a live band playing and they were pounding out some classics.

Jared grabbed Jensen’s hand and dragged him straight up to the bar and ordered them two beers each. 

Jensen shook his head. “I’m not drinking tonight. A soda will do me”.

“But it’s free bar, that’s free booze, come on, one or two won’t do any harm” Jared insisted as he handed the beers over.

“No really, I’m pretty tired and if I have these then I’ll be sleeping in the corner by 8pm. Soda will do just fine. But go ahead, drink what you like but bear in mind that you’ve got an early start tomorrow” Jensen smirked.

“I don’t get hangovers. I’ll be fine. Let’s check out the free food, come on” the young physician shouted out over the music. He took hold of Jensen’s hand once again and dragged him towards the buffet table.

“Now we’re talking. I’m famished”. Jensen took a plate and started putting an assortment of things on his place, food that he deemed safe to eat and least likely to give him food poisoning. The seafood selection was out. He looked mournfully at the pate and cream cheeses and took several slices of bread and filled up the rest of his plate with potato chips and the vegetarian options.

Jared had knocked back his first beer and was starting on the second. “How awesome is this? This is going to be a great night. How’s the food? The pate is amazing with this bread. Yum!”.

Jensen almost pouted at the dry bread in his hand but demolished it anyway because he was so hungry. “Yeah it’s good. The band is pretty good too. I love this song”.

“Oh my God, me too. Let’s dance! Come on” Jared insisted as he took the plate and soda from his boss and put his hands around his waist. “New shirt?”.

“Yeah, my other ones were a little…..tight”. The pregnant physician blushed slightly at the admission.

“You look incredible. Still looking sexy Dr Ackles. You are gorgeous do you know that? I want to dance with you all night and hold you in my arms. Want everyone in here to know that you are with me!” Jared purred into his boss’ ear.

The irony was that Jensen felt self conscious about himself and wanted to hide away. He felt fat next to his gorgeous lover and colleague. The attraction between them was growing. Dating the younger man made him feel like a giddy school boy once again dating his first love. The music kicked up another beat and before he knew it, Jared had him spinning around under his muscly arm and then being bent backwards and supported in his arms whilst a kiss was planted on his lips. “Wow” he whispered.

Jared let his boyfriend go from his arms and winked casually as he sipped on his now third beer. “I’m going to mingle. That’s just the warm up baby, rest your dancing feet, I’ll be back!”.

Jensen laughed and went back to his food and ordered another soda from the bar. 

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was sat at the nurses station the next morning tucking into a breakfast burrito, as he yawned continuously. He had managed to get home and into bed by 10.30pm because Jared had drank copious amounts of free beer and barely noticed when he slipped out, but it was no-where near enough sleep. He was mid mouthful when the other physician walked in through the front door looking slightly worse for wear. “Morning!” he sung cheerily.

Jared just groaned and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry I’m late”.

“Thought you didn’t get hangovers. That’s what you said last night anyway” the older man laughed.

Clearing his throat the hung-over man stood up taller and tried to make himself look presentable. “I don’t!”.

“Oh. Okay, so you don’t want this then” Jensen said amusedly as he held up Jared’s favourite breakfast burrito.

“Nope. I don’t”. Damn it, Jared really wanted it. But he wasn’t going to give in and admit he needed something greasy. He started to walk away.

Jensen resumed eating his and moaned loudly. “Mmmm, this is so good, cheese, bacon. Melts in your mouth”.

“Fucking hell” Jared shouted as he ran back over and grabbed the burrito. He tore open the wrapper and the smell hit him instantly. Cupping his hand over his mouth he ran down the hall to the bathroom. When he appeared a few minutes later, he pointed a finger to his boss. “Don’t say anything!”.

The older man was highly amused but felt a slight pang of guilt at the memories of him throwing up, it wasn’t nice. “I’ll see to your first patient, go get some coffee and sort yourself out. I had a great time last night, thank you” he said sincerely. Usually he wouldn't tolerate his employees coming in hungover from a night out but he made an exception this time.

“Me too” Jared said managing a weak smile. “But if I ever want to go to a free bar again, remind me of this, okay?”.

“Oh I will, don’t you worry. Now get out of here will you?” Jensen joked. 

Jared went to lean over to kiss his boss when he intercepted. “No way. You are not kissing me with that mouth until it’s been washed out with several bottles of mouthwash”. Some smells still made him feel queasy at times.

Alona walked in through the door and smiled at the breakfast on the desk. “Oooh yummy. Thank you. Jeez, what the hell! Someone smells like a walking brewery”. She looked between the two men and saw how awful Jared looked and laughed. “Oh. Good night then?”.

“Yeah. It was. Up until about 5 hours ago. Bleurgh” Jared moaned, putting his head in his hands.

“Mint?” Alona asked as she offered the packet to the younger man.

Nodding his head and then regretting the movement, Jared took one. “Thank you”.

“Actually, take the whole damn packet, you need it” Alona smirked. “I don't think your patient's would appreciate you breathing on them”.

“Fanks!” Jared said as he scoffed a few more mints in his mouth. Taking another look at he burrito, he wrapped it back up in the paper for later when he would appreciate it a lot more.

The first patient of the day arrived and Alona escorted her into one of the rooms whilst Jensen finished off his breakfast, savouring every mouthful.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Mr and Mrs Caleb’s triplets were now just over a week old and had been given the all clear to go home. Jensen was filling in their discharge notes and papers when the happy mother came over to him.

“Dr Ackles?”.

Jensen looked up from the file and smiled. “All set to go?”.

“Absolutely. I just wanted to give you this. Just a little something to say thank you to you and Dr Padalecki” Mrs Caleb said as she leant over and passed him an envelope, wincing slightly as she did so.

“Careful, no bending over like that, remember you’ve just had major surgery. You'll need those stitches out in 10 days. Thank you” the physician said as he opened up the envelope. Tears immediately breached his eyes when he opened up the card. There was a picture of the parents with their babies and it was signed with tiny footprints. He stopped and read and the names of the babies; Janey, Julia and Jaysen. “You named the boy, after us?”.

“Yes. It’s the least we could do” Mrs Caleb said. “Well, we’re off home, so I’ll leave you to it, you must be awfully busy”.

Once the new mother had gone, he gazed down at the card and traced his finger along the outline of the tiny footprints, other hand on his stomach where the baby was moving again. It had moved on from a popping sensation to constant flutters. Before he realised what was happening, tears were flowing freely down his face. His hormones had settled down recently but obviously he wasn’t exempt from the odd crying spell.

“I know, they were so lovely. I’m sad to see them go too” a nurse said as she handed over a tissue to the physician. “So happy for them”.

Jensen was pleased to see that the brunette nurse had red and blotchy eyes too. “Thank you. Don’t tell anyone about this”. To say he was mortified about crying in front of one of his nurses was an understatement.

“I won’t if you don’t either” the nurse chuckled back as she dabbed her eyes.

“Deal”. Jensen stood up and headed back down to the clinic for his next appointment.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was on-call for the night so thought it would be the perfect time and excuse to scan himself again for his 20 week scan. This was an important milestone for him and the baby and also a vital scan as this was the detailed scan where the baby was now big enough to check out the organs and chambers of the heart for any defects.

He had one last patient for the day, a 12 week scan and then the rest of the staff would be going home for the day. Getting nice, clear pictures for this scan was really important so he had started on his second bottle of water as he called in his patient. “Ms Rogers?”.

Ms Rogers walked nervously in with her partner by her side. She was prepped by Alona and ready to go.

“Do you want to get off early Alona? I’m on call tonight anyway, and I’ve just got this left. You may as well go” Jensen said kindly as he grabbed the ultrasound probe.

Alona smiled and nodded enthusiastically. “Well I’m not going to say no. If you are sure!”.

Jensen pressed the probe low down into his patient’s belly and looked at the screen where the tiny baby was. “There we go. Looking good here. I just need to angle the probe a little lower I’m afraid”.

Ms Rogers grimaced at the pressure. “That’s kind of mean after making me drink all that water you know?”.

The physician winced too in sympathy at his own growing discomfort. “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. Just let me check the heartbeat then you can go to the bathroom”.

Once the sound of the heartbeat filled the room and Jensen was satisfied, he nodded and pointed to the bathroom, wishing that he could go too.

Ms Rogers’ partner sat nervously as he stared at the picture of his baby. “Her mood swings are going to get better, right doctor?”.

Jensen was clearing up. Laughing, he shook his head. “I’m afraid not. There will be ups and downs. A lot of downs. Her body is going through a lot of changes right now, physically and emotionally. She’s going to be tired, beyond exhausted some days. Everything is going to ache, back, feet, hips. She’ll be constantly hungry and feel like she needs to pee all the time. She’ll also cry at random moments, and get emotional over the smallest things, hell she could even cry at that cell phone commercial where this couple are the other side of the world, and they are missing each other and they re-connect because he‘s switched network provider and can finally get signal”. He remembered back to the other night when he had cried a river after the commercial.

“Oh crap, really?”.

“Yup” Jensen admitted as he reeled off the list of things that were plaguing him. When he saw how sad the expectant father looked he smiled. “Oh no, but it’s not all bad, I promise you. She’s carrying something so, so special inside of her. Wait until you feel the baby kick for the first time. Feeling the baby, life that you have created move around inside her, it’s magical. And then before you know it, it will be here, in your arms and you’ll feel nothing but love and admiration”. He had his hand on his stomach as he went into his own little world.

When Ms Rogers came back into the room he handed them some leaflets and a date for their next appointment and they both thanked him.

He started to get things ready for his own ultrasound when Jared stuck his head around the door. “Hey. I’m off. Are you sure you are okay for your on-call tonight?”.

Jensen was trying not to squirm around on the spot. “Yeah, I’m fine. Things shouldn’t be too bad”.

Jared went over to his boyfriend and gave him a squeeze and a kiss goodbye. When the other man groaned and squirmed he pulled away. “Do you need to pee or something?”.

“Yeah” the pregnant man admitted. “Been a busy day, no time for bathroom breaks”.

“Jeez, no wonder if you’ve drank all of that!”. Jared spotted the two massive bottles of water on the sideboard. “Well, I’ll leave you to that. I’m off home. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Hope you get some sleep and it's not too busy”.

“You can lock up after you when you leave, I’m not expecting anyone in yet” Jensen hollered back to his colleague before shutting his office door shut and locking it. Within the minute, he had his scrub top up out of the way and gel on his stomach, keen to get this over and done with as soon as possible. His mind was completely focused on the images in front of him, as he checked and double checked the bladder and kidneys and stomach. He scrutinized the chambers of the heart over and over again. There was a small spot on one of the chambers that made him panic a bit, but it was quite often normal and just a scanning anomaly. If it were anyone else's scan, he would dismiss it and recall them for another scan in a week, but because it was his own he was worried. 

He froze the image on the screen and printed a copy out so he could look at it again later. To reassure himself further, he took a couple of tracings through the heart and checked the Doppler blood flow and everything looked great. The pushing of the probe on his lower abdomen reminded him of how much water he had actually consumed.

After a quick trip to the bathroom to finally get some relief, he pulled out his diary.

20 WEEKS 2 DAYS  
DETAILED ANATOMY SCAN DONE TODAY. EVERYTHING LOOKS GREAT APART FROM SMALL SPOT ON LEFT UPPER CHAMBER OF THE HEART. ?SMALL HOLE. BLOOD FLOW AND DOPPLER SHOWS NORMAL BLOOD FLOW SO NO MAJOR CAUSE OF CONCERN. WILL FOLLOW UP IN A FEW DAYS.

Just as he was taking a blood sample from himself his pager went off. Sighing he went to answer it. Great, a twin delivery, just what he wanted when he wanted to get out of here. He finished up with his bloods and labeled them and headed off to wait for his patient.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Jared turned up for work the next morning he found that Jensen’s office door was already open and that he was sat at his desk writing up some notes. He looked exhausted. “Morning. Have you been home at all?”.

Jensen shook his head as he tried to stifle to yawn. “Nope. Think I’ve managed about an hour‘s sleep…..in total. You could swear it was a full moon or something, all these women going into labour”. He was used to functioning on zero sleep but now his body was changing it was sapping every ounce of energy he had. 

“Do you want to go home to get some sleep for a couple of hours, I’m sure we’ll manage your list this morning” Jared offered.

“No, I’ll be okay. I’ve done enough night shifts and on-calls to cope. I’ll grab a coffee in a bit. Just let me finish up my notes and I’ll be out with you” the tired man said as he stifled another yawn. He hadn’t had any caffeine since becoming pregnant, but he needed some stimulant to get him through the day and one mug wasn’t going to do the baby any harm what-so-ever.

“I’ll get your coffee and I’ll pop an extra sugar in there for you, okay?” the younger man said.

Jensen nodded his appreciation. When he finished up the notes, he pulled out the picture of his scan from last night and studied it intensely. He had been so busy during the night that he hadn’t had time to even think about it let alone look at the scan again. It was still playing on his mind that there was something wrong with his baby. As if on cue, the baby gave a flutter as if to reassure her anxious father. He put the scan back into his coat pocket and went out to de-brief his team.

\---------------

The pregnant physician had only managed a few sips of coffee before the baby protested that her father shouldn’t be drinking it, so by lunchtime he was suffering and struggling to stay awake on top of worrying about his scan. To say that he was in a bad mood was an understatement. He had shouted at the gloves he was trying to put on his hands because he had them back to front and tried to put his thumb into the little finger hole. He had shouted at the person who had served him his lunch at the diner. After coming out of one of the rooms after seeing a patient he stormed over to the nurses station where Jared and Alona were laughing and sharing a joke. He slammed down the file. “Haven’t you two got any work to do? Do you know how unprofessional that is! Now quit joking around and do some damn work!” he ranted before storming back off into his office.

Alona looked at Jared and made a face. 

“I’ll go!” Jared offered. A few seconds later he was in his boss’ office. Slamming the door shut, he looked furious. “What the fuck Jensen? I know you are tired and have been up all night, but you have been foul today, shouting at everyone. You don’t usually act like this. What’s going on? Is this anything to do with your thyroid problem? Have you started on new medication or something?”.

Jensen just looked blank. “Yeah I’m tired and I’m on a crap load of medication, okay? Now are you going to take your pants off or what?!”.

“What?” the younger man scoffed in complete disbelief at what he had just heard.

“Seriously? It’s been 2 weeks Jared. I’m pissed right now but I’m dying here, so man up and fuck me” the older physician said as he folded his arms across his chest.

Jared scoffed. “Oh that’s the sexiest thing I’ve heard! That’s absolutely going to get you laid”.

“Quit being a girl and take your pants off Jared, I mean it, I’m not messing around here. I’m going to blow a gasket soon!” Jensen whined.

“Fine” Jared said as he ran to lock the office door and quickly removed his clothes as Jensen took off his white coat and scrub pants.

Jared looked confused. “Take your scrub top off then”.

Jensen shook his head. “No. Because you still look like a friggin underwear model dammit and I’m getting fat, so no. The scrubs stay on!”.

“Fine, leave it on then. I don’t care! Make it quick because I’ve got a patient due in 10 minutes” the younger physician pointed out.

“Fine! I’ll be done in a few minutes so it won’t take up too much of your precious time. Now stop talking and get the job done” the senior physician chastised.

\-----------------------------------

When Jared passed Alona in the hallway 10 minutes later he smiled. “Jensen apologises for his behaviour”.

“Bullcrap, you just had sex!” the blonde laughed and pointed to his hair and walked away before Jared could say anything.

Jensen appeared a couple of minutes later. He had the scan picture in his hand. It was still playing heavily on his mind and he felt like he needed a second opinion. There were no patient details on the scan so it was untraceable.

“Better?” Jared asked frantically trying to smooth his hair down. “Although I do feel used”. He could see that his boss was preoccupied with something and he changed the subject quickly. “What’s that? Problem?”.

“I don’t know. Can you take a look at this? It’s a scan that I did yesterday. It’s just an image anomaly, right?” Jensen asked worriedly as he handed over the picture of his baby to his lover.

Jared held up the image to the light to get a different perspective of it. “What was the Doppler flow like through the heart? Any signs of a leak?”.

“No. All normal. Normal flow and rhythm”. Jensen exhaled, unaware that he had even been holding his breath.

“Then there’s no reason to suspect that it’s anything other than an anomaly. Are you going to re-scan in a few days to see if it’s still there? I could do it if you like, get another pair of eyes in there? These things are quite subjective sometimes” Jared reasoned as he handed the picture back over.

“No, it’s okay” Jensen said suddenly. He realized that he may have opened up a can of worms with this.

“What patient is this then? Where’s the notes?”. Jared tried to recall the 20 week scans from yesterday in the diary.

“Oh, just someone I squeezed in the book last minute. Her notes are filed away, I just wanted your opinion on the image that’s all. It’s fine, I’ll take care of it. Thank you. Thank God, thank you. I just needed reassurance on this one” Jensen smiled back.

Jared looked a little confused. “Okay, no worries, you were the one that taught me on this, so I don’t know why you doubted yourself. Are you sure you're okay?”.

Jensen felt a weight lift off from his shoulders and he smiled for the first time that day. Even some of his tiredness had subsided. “Yeah I'm fine, I know, this patient is….she’s very important to me that’s all. Look I’m sorry that I’ve been a bitch today. I think I’ll take up your offer of some sleep. I’ll see to my next patient then I’m going to go home early. Is that okay? There's nothing left that you can't handle”.

Jared smiled. “Of course, you’re the boss, boss!”.

“Dinner at mine tomorrow night?” the older physician asked. “As a way of an apology for being an ass?”.

“It’s a date” Jared said happily. “Now go”. He watched his boss walk away, it looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	7. Chapter 7

Jensen was just stirring the sauce to go with their peppercorn steak when the doorbell rang. Putting down the spoon and taking the pan off the heat momentarily, he raced to the front door to open it. Before he opened the door, he checked himself out in the mirror in the hallway. He didn't have his white coat to hide behind. He had to rely on his shirt and v-neck sweater to do the job. Tugging at the hem, he didn't have any more time to dwell on his appearance as the doorbell chimed once more. Opening the door, he found his colleague on the doorstep clutching a bottle of wine in one hand and a huge bunch of flowers in the other.

 

Jared smiled as he saw Jensen. “Hey”.

 

“Come in, I just need to check on the sauce, it's on the stove” Jensen faltered when he saw the wine. “Are those, for me?” he asked as he led the way into the kitchen where he put the pan back onto the heat.

 

“Yeah. My mom always says that I shouldn't turn up at someone's house empty handed. Have you got a vase for the flowers?” the younger physician said as he put the wine down on the table.

 

“They are absolutely beautiful, thank you. There should be a vase in the cupboard under the sink”. Jensen said as he concentrated on the sauce. Things were a bit strained between them after his outburst yesterday.

 

“I got non alcoholic wine. Think it's some sort of Elderflower cordial wine. I thought maybe, you were on medication or something and you shouldn't be drinking alcohol” Jared said thoughtfully.

 

Jensen smiled at the sentiment. “Thank you, Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. Side effect from the medications I guess, mood swings and no sleep. Still, it's no excuse. I don't deserve wine and flowers!”.

 

Jared wrapped his arms around the other man to try and appease him. “Yes you do. I know you are going through a hard time right now, something that you don't want to share with me and I respect that. But I now believe that we are in a relationship and I want to buy my boyfriend some flowers to cheer him up”.

 

“Well, in that case, thank you very much. I hope you're hungry. I think I've made enough mashed potato for the whole street. We've got peppercorn steak and a sauce to go with it. I like mine well done, but yours has been on for a couple of minutes already so if you like it rare to medium then I'll take it out now”. The pregnant man craved a nice juicy steak but didn't want to run the risk of food poisoning so he had to settle with a well done piece of meat for himself.

 

Peering over the pan where the steaks were sizzling, Jared determined that his steak was to his liking. “Yeah, it looks good right now. Anything you want me to do?”.

 

“Just sit yourself down and I'll bring the food to the table in a minute”. Jensen went to pick up the pan of sauce when he felt another strange popping sensation in his belly. It was stronger than what he had felt before. His hand grazed over the spot and a smile breached his face. He almost wanted to shout out to the world that he was pregnant and was carrying a baby girl inside of him, but he couldn't. Instead he served up dinner and joined the other man at the table.

 

Jared tucked into the food. “Mmm, it's good!”.

 

“Yeah it is” Jensen agreed, impressed with his own cooking skills. “I don't cook very often so I was kind of nervous about how it would turn out to be honest. The last time I made a sauce, I had to sieve it several times to get all the lumps out of it”.

 

The younger man jokingly analysed the sauce and smirked. “Wow, no lumps. No seriously, it's really good. I've relied on take-out the last couple of nights because I've not had the time to make food so this is very much appreciated”.

 

“Shall we open up this Elderflower wine then? Would you like some? Or I've got a bottle of white wine in the fridge if you'd rather?”. Jensen got to his feet slowly and went over to the fridge, got two glasses and a bottle opener.

 

Jared smiled in between mouthfuls of mashed potato. “Let's go with the Elderflower, why not. I don't know yet whether I'm staying the night or not yet” he said wishfully as he gave a little wink.

 

The pregnant physician sat back down and started to pour the wine into the glasses. “Well, so far, I would say that your chances of staying are looking very good indeed Dr Padalecki”. As he leant back in his chair, the baby kicked him quite forcefully. “Ooh”. He rubbed just below his diaphragm.

 

“You okay?” the younger man asked with concern.

 

“Heartburn” Jensen lied.

 

“It's no wonder, you've been up and down like a yo-yo. Just sit down and finish up your food. There's quite a bit more potato and sauce left. Would you like any more?”. Jared served himself up a second helping.

 

“Why not. But we need to leave room for pudding”. Jensen leaned in closer to the other man and inched his hand closer.

 

Jared's eyes lit up. “There's pudding?”.

 

“Oh yeah, there's pudding” the older physician said suggestively.

 

 

 

Jensen was lying down on the examining table, his stomach prepped with sticky gel. He prodded his belly with the ultrasound probe. “Come on baby move!”. He was re-scanning the baby's heart to see whether the image defect was still there or not. But the baby had other ideas and wasn't complying. She was lying so that she was facing away from him, almost defiant. Moving himself around he managed to get the baby to flip herself over until her heart was in profile. He quickly froze the image on the screen to analyse later. Whilst she was in the correct position he took another doppler through the heart. A smile broadened on his face when he saw that it was perfect. Zooming in on the area of interest he could see no indication of a hole or defect that had appeared to be seen before. Whilst he was prepped and on the table, he did a quick scan of the pouch and checked the placenta and blood supply and the baby's growth despite it being only 5 days since the last scan.

 

When he was done, he got out his notebook and jotted down some notes.

 

21 WEEKS + 1

RE-SCAN OF THE BABY'S HEART SHOW NO SIGN OF A SEPTAL DEFECT AND NORMAL DOPPLER FLOW. DEFECT SHOWN ON PREVIOUS SCAN IS NO LONGER VISIBLE. ENTIRELY HAPPY THAT THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS WITH THE HEART. GROWTH IS UP IN ACCORDANCE TO GESTATIONAL AGE. EVERYTHING LOOKS NORMAL. NIL ELSE TO REPORT APART FROM INCREASED FETAL MOVEMENTS.

 

As he sat at his desk, the phone rang. It was lunchtime and most of his employees had headed out for lunch break to make the most of the sunshine. He had locked the door to his office with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign. He wanted to get away early tonight so had decided that he would do the re-scan during his lunch break instead. “Dr Ackles?” he said as he answered the phone. “Dr Lopez, wow, it's an honour. It's been a while, what can I do for you?”. He sat back and listened to the proposition from his old professor.

 

 

“Mrs Wilson needs an appointment for a scan in 2 weeks please” Jensen said as he put down his patient's notes on the desk.

 

Alona took the notes. “25 minute slot okay?”.

 

“Perfect, thank you Alona” the physician said. “You are a little gem, have I told you that recently?”.

 

The blonde looked on in amusement. “Er not too recently actually!” she said playfully.

 

“Well you are, absolutely. This place would fall apart without you”. Jensen sat down next to the nurse and smiled at her.

 

“Yeah, I can see where this is going. What do you want? What do you need me to do?” the blonde asked suspiciously.

 

Looking sheepish and wincing, the physician clicked his tongue. “Damn it. Am I really that easy to read?”.

 

“I knew it! I've known you too long”. Alona squealed. “Just spit it out”.

 

Jensen moved his chair closer to the nurse. “Okay, remember how you taught me how to use Powerpoint last year?”.

 

Alona shook her head and put it in her hands groaning inwardly. “You mean when I tried to teach you and you couldn't even get past the first welcome screen and sulked for the rest of the day after throwing a tantrum like a 5 year old? For a renowed fertility specialist, your IT skills leave a lot to be desired. How the hell did you even pass your exams?”.

 

“Because I did it all the old-fashioned way. Pen and paper. But apparently these days people don't like projectors, they like big Powerpoint presentations and photographs and pictures and writing that flies across the screen. Well I need that. I've been invited to be a key note speaker in the Fertility convention in 2 weeks time. I've got all the notes and information and I can present it no problem, but I need to do it in Powerpoint” Jensen said as he gave the last word a look of disgust as he said it like it was a dirty word.

 

Jared appeared just as he heard the last sentence. “Oh my God, you are key note speaker? In the Staples Convention Centre on the 30th? Are you serious? Why didn't you tell me before, this is so exciting! That date has been booked in my diary for the past 2 months”.

 

“There you go, perfect. Jared can teach you Powerpoint. Good luck with that” the blonde said to the younger physician.

 

Jensen blushed. “I've only just found out myself. I just had a phonecall from my old professor who's heading up the convention. They needed someone local to give a talk on the latest In-Vitro techniques and he chose me. This is a big deal and I'm so nervous. Everything I know now came from this guy. I can't let him down. Do you know how to make the writing go across the screen?”.

 

Trying his best not to smile, Jared nodded his head. “Yes”.

 

“Really? Can you add images to it?” the older physician asked with excitement.

 

Nodding again the younger man laughed at his boss' excitement and subsequently at Alona rolling her eyes. “I can do all of that. I can help you. What are you going to be doing the talk on?”.

 

“New advanced techniques in IVF for the future but without giving away too many of my trade secrets. You can help me write it if you like, it would be good experience for you, I'll put your name on the presentation?” Jensen said.

 

Jared's smile went up another notch at the prospect. “That would be good, thank you!”.

 

Alona sighed with relief. “Thank God! I'm off the hook. Good luck Jared, you'll literally need the patience of a Saint. Now who wants an egg extraction?”.

 

Grabbing the patient folder, Jensen playfully batted the blonde nurse over the head. “Get Mrs Perkins all set up for me in Exam Room 3 and I'll be there in 5 minutes!”.

 

 

Jensen was sat at his desk tucking into his lunch when there was a knock at the door. “Come on in”.

 

Jared opened the door and wandered in carrying files and notes under his arms. “Okay, so I got some of the notes and case files that you asked for. Let's get this presentation sorted”.

 

“Excellent. So, I tried to do what you told me with the Powerpoint thing, but I just can't get my head around it. It would take me way too long to get anything done. How about I dictate what I want and you could type it?” the pregnant physician asked as he smiled sweetly.

 

“Yeah, that's cool. I mean it's probably for the best given what Alona has told me, right?” Jared said amusedly.

 

“Unfortunately it's all true. I suck!”. Jensen grabbed his sandwich and took an impossibly big bite, tomato sauce dripping down his chin. Grabbing a napkin, he wiped his chin.

 

“Is that a meatball marinara?” the younger man asked as he pointed to the sub on the desk.

 

“Oh yeah. It's so damn good it should be illegal” Jensen said as he wiped his hands with the napkin too.

 

Jared looked suspiciously at it. “What's that on top of it?”.

 

Jensen looked embarrassed when he realized he had been caught out. “Er.....pickles” he said sheepishly.

 

“Jeez, really? Pickles on a meatball sub? Gross!” Jared recoiled at the thought.

 

“What? No it's not, don't knock it until you've tried it”. The pregnant physician had had a craving for pickles all day and it was too hard to resist when he was in the deli picking up his lunch. He realized now that it probably was gross to other people.

 

“It's like you've got an appetite of a pregnant woman. They must be rubbing off on you!” Jared joked not realizing how close he was to the truth.

 

Jensen cleared his throat and laughed at the irony as he put his hand on his stomach. “Ha, yeah, I guess being around pregnant woman all day every day has to take its toll on you. So let's forget my disgusting but very delicious sandwich and get through as much of this as we can. I just want it done out of the way, I hate preparing for presentations”.

 

Jared opened up the first file and sidled up to the other man in front of the computer.

 

 

One of Jensen's patients was supine on the examining couch as she was being examined.

 

Jensen pressed at her swollen abdomen as he tried to feel for the baby's position. When she winced he apologized. “I'm sorry Ms Shephard. All done now” he said as he flicked off his gloves into the trash in the corner of the room. He offered his arm so she could sit up.

 

“How's the baby looking?” the pregnant woman asked.

 

“Still breech I'm afraid. If he doesn't turn in the next week or so then I can try and turn him but we don't usually get that much success from it, so it's looking like a C-section” Jensen stated as he put a hand reassuringly on his patient's hand. “The main thing is we want to get baby out as safely as possible, right? I went to a lot of effort of getting him to stay in there so I want to get him out as safe as possible for you”.

 

“You'll be doing it right? I mean, I know everyone else is good here, but I want you” Mrs Shephard said anxiously.

 

“Of course. I'll schedule you in for 3 weeks time with me, but I'll see you next week to see if we can get him turned the right way up. Do you have any questions?” the physician asked his patient.

 

The woman began to cry. “I'm sorry, I'm just, being silly that's all. This baby means everything to me and my husband. 3 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, 1 failed implantation, heartbreak after heartbreak. He's unbelievably precious, but I trust you”.

 

Jensen put his hand over his own stomach just as the baby moved. “I know. Just a few more weeks then you'll have him in your arms and you'll finally have that family you've always wanted. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, it's a miracle, embrace it” he smiled as he thought about his own little miracle growing inside of him. It was then he realised that he only trusted one person with his baby's life and that was Jared. But he couldn't know yet. Once his patient had gone, he went back to his office and pulled out his notebook and documented the results of his latest set of blood test results.

 

22+ 2 WEEKS

BLOOD TESTS AND HORMONE LEVELS ALL SATISFACTORY. FETAL MOVEMENTS HAVE NOW INCREASED. SLIGHTLY FATIGUED, INCREASED APPETITE AND WEIGHT GAIN, OTHER THAN THAT NIL ELSE TO MENTION.

 

Sighing he closed his eyes for a moment. Another month and his baby would be viable and would stand a reasonable chance of being able to survive outside the womb. As each day went by he felt more and more confident of being able to achieve this. Once he got to that point, he would need help from someone in order to help him sustain the pregnancy. He doubted very much that he would reach full term but if he could make it until 30 weeks then the baby would have a good chance. 32 weeks would be a miracle. He would need someone to perform a C-section to get her out. That someone would certainly be Jared. Until Jared absolutely had to know, everything had to remain a secret as he could not jeopardize the other physician's career and medical license. He had upped the ante on writing detailed notes so that when he showed his notes to Jared he would have something solid to go by.

 

His intercom buzzed to signal that his next patient was here. Putting his notebook back in his desk drawer he locked it up and tended to his next patient.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared quickly gave the other physician a kiss on the cheek as he was leant over the desk at the nurses station.

 

“What was that for?” Jensen asked as he stood up straight. “Just as well there's no one around”.

 

“Relax. I missed you that's all” Jared said as he handed over a box of pastries.

 

“I only saw you like an hour or so ago. Are those apple fritters?” the pregnant man asked as he recognized the box. When the other man nodded, he opened the box and practically wolfed one down in one go and went to grab a second one.

 

“I still missed you. Anyway, what are you doing later? Fancy going to the cinema? I checked this film out properly, definitely meant to be better than the last one we saw. We can go straight after work? Neither of us are on call tonight so let's make the most. It feels like we've been passing ships in this place recently” Jared said as he too grabbed a fritter.

 

Jensen was on his second bite of the second fritter. He quickly swallowed. “Sounds perfect. As long as I can have hot dogs and popcorn? Mmm, ketchup and mustard on the hot dog and salty popcorn I think”.

 

“Do you think about anything else other than food these days?” Jared asked jokingly.

 

“Well.....as a matter of fact, I do” the older physician said as he bit down on his lip and looked at Jared with lust and wanton desire.

 

“Oh yeah?” Jared teased.

 

“Absolutely. What I really want to do to you is-”.

 

“Get a room you two” Alona said as she seemed to appear from no-where. “Save it for the bedroom. Jared, you're needed in Exam 2, Jensen you are with me in Exam 4”.

 

“Hang on a minute, who's the boss here?” Jensen asked as he folded his arms across his chest in an authoritative manner. His face cracked as it broke into a smile. “Fine, let's go. See you later Jared”.

 

Jared winked as he watched his boss and boyfriend follow the blonde nurse into Exam 4.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

True to his word, Jensen had polished off a hot dog and a huge bucket of popcorn whilst Jared just sipped casually on diet coke. They were sat next to each other in the cinema watching a bittersweet romance film when halfway through Jensen began to tear up. He subtly tried to dab the corner of his eyes with the cuff of the sleeve. He was grateful right now that they were in darkness and the younger physician had yet to notice. Once he got a hold of his emotions, the film's sadness kicked up a notch and he found himself openly crying. Trying his best to hide it he made his excuses to Jared saying that he would be back in a minute. Once outside in the corridor, the tears began to fall more freely and he sobbed into a tissue he plucked from his pants pocket. He wasn't entirely sure what had set him off but he was putting it down to his hormones for sure. Just as he had stopped sobbing, the door to the cinema opened and Jared appeared.

 

“I came to check whether you were okay or not. Are you, have you been crying?” the younger physician asked.

 

Jensen couldn't really deny it. “They, I mean, they had just met and they had their whole lives in front of them, I-thought-they would be together forever”.

 

“It's a film, it's okay” Jared said as he did the only thing he could think of doing in the moment and that was to put his arms around the other man and hold him tight. “Let's go back to yours? We'll watch something else, a comedy perhaps?”. Sure, the film was quite sad but he didn't think it would warrant a response like this from it. He knew best not to probe any further into it.

 

“God you must think that I'm being completely and utterly ridiculous!” Jensen said as embarrassment set in.

 

“Not at all. In fact I think that it's quite sweet that you got so emotional. It means that you care that's all. Let's go” the younger man said as he took hold of Jensen's hand and led him off.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jensen was in Exam room 3 doing a routine check when his pager started to bleep displaying an SOS message to the nurses station. Confused he ran as quick as he could out of the room and down the corridor where he found Alona in a state of panic, Jared by her side and a woman crying whose pants were dripping with blood.

 

Jared looked up at his boss with concern. “Placental abruption. She's just come in. I-need your help on this one. I've rang upstairs and they are prepping the OR for you stat”.

 

The senior physician calmly took control of the situation. “Alona, can you please get a gurney right now! Mrs Matthew, we are going to take you straight upstairs now, we need to get baby out, okay?”.

 

The scared woman just nodded as she winced in pain and put her hand in between her legs to try and stem the flow of blood. “There's so much blood”.

 

Jensen helped his patient onto the gurney. There were a couple of patients sat in the waiting room so he pulled a screen around to shelter them from what was happening. “Jared, run upstairs, get the ultrasound scanner ready and the fetal monitor and make sure we are ready to go on this. Alona, can you please take care of things down here for now”.

 

Alona nodded her head and watched as Jensen pushed the gurney down to the end of the corridor and into the elevator.

 

Once on the top floor, Jensen removed his white coat and threw it down. He nodded to one of theatre nurses to prep his patient. “Mrs Matthew, I just need to do a quick scan, okay? How many weeks are you now?”.

 

“35....please save my baby, I've come too far to lose her, please!” she pleaded.

 

“Okay, let's take a look” Jensen said as he started to scan his patient and saw the extent of the problem. “So, the placenta is breaking away from the uterus, decreasing the flow of oxygen to the baby”. He turned on the doppler flow and the sound of baby's heart rate filled the vicinity of the room. Looking at Jared he signaled for him to start scrubbing up. “Baby is showing signs of distress and the heart rate is slowing down so we need to act quick. I'm sorry we don't have time to wait for your husband to get here”.

 

As the nurse and Jared prepped the patient for surgery and the anesthesiologist administered the spinal, Jensen scrubbed up. Once the patient was sufficiently numbed up, Jensen handed over the scalpel to the other man. “Jared? You can do this, you've done this loads of times before, make the incision”.

 

Jared nodded as he took the scalpel and made the cut. “There's way too much blood in here”.

 

“It's okay, just get the suction going on it” Jensen said as he remained calm and professional.

 

“Okay, hang on, let me just get my hand in behind here” the younger physician said as he got hold of the baby and pulled her free. He handed over the lifeless newborn to one of the waiting nurses as he worked to stop the bleeding.

 

“Why isn't she crying?” Mrs Matthew asked anxiously.

 

The nurse was trying to rouse the newborn but there was still no sign of life. “Dr Ackles?”.

 

Jensen rushed over and threw his gloves in the trash. He grabbed the oxygen from the cart and began to pump it into the newborn, rubbing her chest frantically. “Come on sweetie......come on”. He checked the clock. A minute had gone by without any signs of life. He pushed more oxygen and gently pumped her chest with his fingers until she started to pink up and move her limbs. When the baby girl started to cry he let out a breath he didn't know that he had been holding and scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against the warmth of his chest. “There we go, that's better. Let's go and meet your mommy, eh?”.

He felt his own baby move inside of him, stronger than before. Part of him wanted to cradle the baby all day long but he could hear her mother cry out for her child so he wrapped her and swaddled her in a blanket before handing her over. As Jared was still stitching up their patient, he had to keep holding her body as support. “She's a little on the small side so she'll need to go to the NICU, but she's here and she's a little fighter”.

 

“Thank you, thank you so much” Mrs Matthew said.

 

Jared finished stitching up the incision as Jensen de-scrubbed and washed his hands in the basin. He admired how his colleague and boyfriend had handled the situation in a calm manner. He knew that when the time came with him that he would be able the handle the situation like a competent professional.

 

When Jared was done he joined his partner at the basin. “That's why you're the best Dr Ackles”.

 

“Well actually, you did it Dr Padalecki, you got that baby out within the minute. See? You can do it” the senior physician said with sincerity. “If that were me in there I'd trust you wholeheartedly”. Obviously, the irony was lost on the other man.

 

“Wow, thank you. It was good experience for me. And you were like the hero, swooping in there, taking control, being awesome as always”. Jared finished scrubbing his hands and was drying them on a disposable towel.

 

“Just doing what I'm trained to do”. Jensen was being modest. “Oh crap, I'd better get back to my patient. Are you able to do post op checks on Mrs Matthews and the baby?”.

 

Jared smiled. “Of course. I'll meet you for lunch then?”.

 

Jensen's stomach began to rumble as if on cue. “Yeah, perfect! I'll see you there then”.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

It was a full house at the Staples Convention centre and Jared was running Jensen through his Powerpoint presentation reminding him that he just had to click the button on the mouse to change slides.

 

“Come on, surely you've lectured lots of times before, you are a pro at this. Why are you so nervous this time?” Jared asked his boss.

 

The truth was, Jensen didn't really know. It was a big deal because it was his old professor that had invited him there and he felt that he had a lot to prove and high expectations to live up to. But he also felt self-conscious, knowing that he had to stand in front of a huge crowd of people in a massive lecture theatre, all eyes on him, all focused on him. He was dressed semi casual in a shirt and sweater that flattered his now rounded and pronounced stomach but he felt huge. There was no way that anyone could ever suspect what he was doing but he felt that with everyone looking at him someone would notice even though he knew it was impossible as his own employees and boyfriend didn't even know. He literally had butterflies in his stomach right now and one of those butterflies was the baby moving around in reaction to his anxiety. Using the cuff of his sleeve, he wiped sweat off his brow. “I know, you're right. It's just a 20 minute presentation, I've done this numerous of times before. It's hot in here, right?”.

 

Jared shook his head. “I don't think so. Why don't you take off your sweater?”.

 

Jensen stubbornly tugged down his sweater at the hem. He knew he was being utterly ridiculous. “No it's fine”.

 

“Are you.....” Jared started then paused to find the right words as he knew how his boss and boyfriend felt about it. “No one is going to care if you've put on weight-not that I'm saying you have, but they'll all be too intrigued at what you're saying. I mean look around you. Most of the people in the audience are balding middle aged men who have an aversion to exercise. Whereas you are hot, sexy, gorgeous...”.

 

Jensen's name was being mentioned on the microphone along with a brief introduction about him. “Okay I guess that's my cue to get out there”.

 

Jared quickly kissed the physician. “Good luck. I'll go and take my seat. I for one will be listening....and looking very intently”.

 

Walking out onto the stage, Jensen was greeted by his old professor who gave him another introduction then left him to it.

 

The physician started off a little shaky but then grew in confidence as he went through his well rehearsed presentation, lecturing passionately about the latest techniques, some of which he had pioneered himself and almost smiling with relief every time he had successfully negotiated each slide. He was nearing the end, when he began to get light headed and hot. He managed to control it by grabbing onto the edge of the stand in front of him where there a was a well placed glass of water. Clearing his throat and muttering an 'excuse me' he took a few sips of the tepid water. Regaining control he continued through the remainder of the presentation until he reached the conclusion and finale. “So, who knows where we could be in a few years time, 10, 15, 20 years time?! As stem cell research progresses too, could we be in a position to go as far as cultivating an artificial uterus and implanting an embryo into it?”. He stumbled a little as another wave came over him rendering him feeling faint. When he looked out into the crowd and saw a few worried faces, Jared's included he laughed it off. “Apparently I'm an expert on IVF but my basic medical knowledge diminishes sometimes. I forgot that skipping breakfast would cause blood sugar levels to drop. So on that note, thank you very much for your attention Ladies and gentleman, it is an honour to have been asked to come here today and I look forward to the rest of today's lectures”.

 

As the crowd clapped and applauded the physician, he lingered around on the stage as long as he could until his legs went wobbly, forcing him to vacate the stage and stumble into the wings and sit down on the nearest chair he could find. The first thing he did was remove his sweater and roll up his shirt sleeves, undoing the first few buttons on the top.

 

“Jensen? Are you okay?” Jared asked worriedly as he appeared within a few seconds. “You're sweating!”.

 

“It's fine. I'm okay. It just got a little hot there under the spot lights that's all. I just need to sit down for a few minutes”. Jensen inhaled and exhaled deeply as the feeling passed.

 

Jared knelt down next to his boss and looked concerned. “You've had a lot of fainting spells recently. What medication have they put you on? I think you probably need to get it changed if it's giving you so many side effects like this”.

 

“Jared? What did I tell you before about not getting involved in my medical business and just be my....boyfriend, okay? It's fine. I'm fine, I promise you. My medication is under review, just leave it. I got a little hot and anxious about the presentation and I'm hungry as hell so let's go and eat, I believe we are breaking for lunch now anyway”. Jensen said as he stood up and draped his sweater over his arm.

 

Jared was about to open his mouth to protest but then relented. “Okay, fine. But it's only because I care about you”.

 

Jensen nodded his head and managed a weak smile. He took his boyfriend's hand into his own. “I know. And I appreciate it. How did I do up there by the way?”.

 

“Excellent! I mean, I know that I helped you write the presentation but you nailed it and added some extra stuff in there. I think it was very well received and the round of applause you had was far greater than the previous speaker. To be honest I wasn't even sure that Dr Plenski was speaking English. So, yeah you rocked up there Dr Ackles!” Jared gushed.

 

“Well you are a tad biased Dr Padalecki. Okay, seriously lets go eat” the pregnant physician said as he led the way out. “I wasn't kidding when I said my blood sugar levels are low”.

 

 

Jensen was making the most of the free buffet as he loaded up his plate with as much food as it could hold. The increase in appetite during the second trimester was certainly taking its hold on him. He would tell his women to eat sensibly and not give into their increased appetite too much but he wasn't doing too well with following his own advice right now.

 

“This food is pretty good actually” Jared said as he too tucked into a plate of food. “Usually they get the cheapest caterers in for these conferences”.

 

“Mmmm, yeah it's good”. When Jensen saw Jared look at his mound of food he shrugged his shoulders. “I'm getting fat anyway, so may as well embrace it”.

 

Jensen's old professor walked over to them and gave his former student a smile. “Jensen. Excellent presentation, very informative indeed. There's another conference upstate in 6 weeks, I'd like to extend out another invitation to you. Your flight and accommodation will of course all be paid for”.

 

Jared's face lit up.

 

The pregnant physician's face fell. He couldn't risk flying as there would be a high chance the air pressure would cause the pouch to dislodge. It would be far too risky especially being that far along if he could make it that far. He felt another pang of disappointment as it would have been an amazing opportunity for him. “Wow, I'm honored, thank you so much. But I'm going to have to decline this time. I can't leave my clinic I'm sorry”.

 

“What? We can get Dr Burnell to cover again. It's fine, we can manage, you have to go” the younger physician pleaded.

 

“I'm sorry, but not this time. Give me a bit more advanced notice and I'll be there. Bear me in mind for the next one” Jensen said mournfully.

 

Dr Lopez nodded his head. “Absolutely. You care passionately about your patients and practice, you have become an excellent physician and I'm very proud of you”.

 

“Well, everything that I've learned, it's been from you Dr Lopez and I look forward to your lecture later on this afternoon”. After all these years, he still looked up to his old professor and mentor.

 

When the professor left them to it, Jared looked incredulously at his superior. “Seriously? You've turned down another seminar? We can manage, you know that we can”.

 

Jensen shook his head. “Look, I know. I just....I can't fly right now, I'm not allowed. Something to do with my blood pressure, I don't know, I've not really read too much into it its just that I've been told I can't”.

 

Jared didn't want to argue again so he knew best just to drop the subject. Whatever was up with the other physician, he was sure that he would tell him soon because things weren't really adding up. Checking his watch, he noted the time. “Okay, no worries. I guess we better finish up with food, the next lecture is in 15 minutes”.

 

 

 

“Are you ready to go?” Jared asked as he popped his head into his boss' office.

 

Jensen had forgotten that they had arranged to go out after work, He was exhausted after a hectic day and he was going through a nasty bout of indigestion right now. He winced at the acidy pain under his diaphragm, making a mental note to avoid raw onions for the time being. They had tasted so good earlier, but he was regretting it now. “Oh crap, I'm sorry, I forgot”.

 

Jared looked concerned. “You okay?”.

 

“Great. Look, I'm sorry, I just don't feel too hot right now. Can I get a rain check on dinner for tonight? Maybe see how I feel tomorrow night?”. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out some antacids and knocked one back.

 

“Heartburn? Again?” Jared asked as took note of the tablets.

 

“Like you wouldn't believe”. The pregnant physician put his hand on his stomach again then put it down by his side, not wanting to draw too much attention to the expanse of his belly. He had gained 2 more pounds this week.

 

Jared sighed. “You should really go back and see the endocrinologist. Things really aren't working the way they are. I mean, you are gaining weight too fast and-”

 

“You're saying that I'm getting too fat?! Don't you think that I know that? That I don't feel self-conscious about it?” Jensen sighed heavily as he tried to hold back tears.

 

“Oh God, no, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just so worried about you. You know that Jensen. I really, really care about you. I've done what you've asked, I've kept out of it and tried to just stay as your boyfriend, but I'm worried about you and want to help. Please don't shut me out” Jared pleaded as he moved closer to the other man.

 

Jensen remained seated and stayed silent.

 

“Just, tell me who you've been seeing” the younger man pursued.

 

Drumming his fingers on the table, Jensen then leaned back in his chair. He had looked up a list of endocrinologists a few weeks ago in case he needed to drop a name into the conversation at some point. “Dr Oliver”.

 

Jared nodded his head feeling satisfied for now. “Okay. Thank you. And are they looking after you? Because I haven't been aware of you going to any appointments?”.

 

“I've given you the name of my physician and I'm not due for a follow up for a month, now please leave it”. The pregnant physician got to his feet and made a move to get his jacket from the hook on the door.

 

“I'm sorry” the younger man said sincerely as he stopped the other man in his tracks and wrapped his arms around him. “It's because I care about you and want you to get better. I hate seeing you like this that's all”.

 

Jensen relaxed into the embrace and felt a pang of guilt about lying to his colleague and boyfriend but it would only be another couple of weeks or so. “I know. Thank you for looking out for me. I appreciate it, I really do....”.

 

“But you want me to just be your boyfriend...I know. Go home and get some rest. If you need anything, you know where I am. I'll see you tomorrow morning, don't worry about dinner, we can reschedule it for whenever you like, just let me know”. Jared kissed his boss on the lips, trying to prolong it for as long as possible.

 

“I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight” Jensen said smiling as he left Jared to lock up behind him. The guilt was literally eating him up.

 

 

Jared rolled back on the bed exhausted in his post coital state.

 

Jensen pulled the bed covers back over himself to cover up his stomach. He had insisted on keeping his t-shirt on.

 

“Wow. That was pretty damn good Dr Ackles” Jared purred as he regained his breath. He rolled over and put his arms around the other man.

 

“Yeah. So damn good. And way more comfortable than on the examination couch or my desk”. Despite being exhausted all the time right now, he was also totally hot for his colleague too. Despite their arguments over his so called health they were still maintaining their relationship out of work.

 

“Oh yeah. We should do this more often you know?” Jared said as he moved closer to the other man.

 

Jensen laughed. “What have more sex?”.

 

“No, Well yeah, but I mean just lying in bed with you, making the most of each others company, just us two, no patients. Being able to kiss you like this” Jared said doing just that. He moved his hands lower.

 

“Don't” Jensen said pulling away.

 

“Jensen it's fine. You are still unbelievably hot and sexy. There's just a little more of you to cling onto and it's fine, there's no need to feel self-conscious about it”. The elation of being close to his lover had worn off and Jared could sense another impeding argument.

 

The baby was fairly active in recent days and the movements were getting stronger so Jensen freaked out a little when he felt the other man's hands wandering down to his stomach. He pushed them away as he felt the baby kick him forcefully. He was worried that Jared would be able to feel the movements now. “I have to pee” he said as he got up from the bed and headed into the bathroom to escape from the situation for a few moments.

 

Jared sighed as he sat up in bed. Every time he got close to his boyfriend these days he seemed to push him away. Every time he brought something up about his health he got pushed away too. And the truth was, he was falling for him in a big way. He had never felt like this about anyone else before. He figured that he would just need to tread carefully with how he approached things.

 

Jensen sighed as he got back into bed. He turned on his side away from the other physician and placed his hands around his belly in a protective way and to stop Jared from putting them there too. “Well I think you wore me out. I'm ready to go to sleep!”.

 

“Yeah” Jared said as he reached out again but pulled his hand back this time. “Goodnight”. He wasn't tired and knew that it would be a while before sleep would find him.

 

 

Alona walked into the room behind the nurses station for their early morning brief as usual to go through their day's scheduled patients.

 

“So I am going to try something new today with the Coopers. I'm going to try a testicular sperm extraction from Mr Cooper and try and get all the viable sperm I can and then hopefully we can make a baby with the eggs we've extracted from Mrs Cooper. I'll need you both in with me, this could take up the whole morning so we've not got anyone scheduled until the afternoon” the senior physician said as he flipped through his notes. He took another bite of his breakfast burrito, his second one so far.

 

“Okay. Great. Then I've got Ms Ellis for the embryo implantation then I think I've got some fertility tests to run on the Smiths” Jared said.

 

“Alona?” Jensen asked. “Anything else to add?”.

 

The blonde nurse shook her head. “Nope, don't think so. Just your usual afternoon list Jensen and then Jared is on call this evening”.

 

“Excellent” Jensen said as he grabbed the rest of his burrito and stood up hastily and felt giddy instantly so sat back down again just as quickly. Closing his eyes for a second to re-orientate himself, he got back up slower, holding onto the edge of the table for support. When he saw the two pairs of eyes looking at him with concern and curiosity, he waved them off. “I'm fine”.

 

As he left the room Jared glanced at the blonde nurse. “Come on, can't you see that something is wrong with him?”.

 

Alona sighed. “Look, he says he's fine, then he's fine. Thyroid conditions can be hard to manage sometimes and the medications can be a bitch. Just cut him some slack I'm sure he's okay”.

 

Jared nodded his head un-convincingly. “Yeah, you're right”.

 

 

Jensen had headed straight to his office, making good use of the time before his patients turned up. Strapping on the blood pressure cuff he sat down and took a reading and jotted it down in his notebook. He did the same as he stood up and found a sudden drop in his blood pressure which would account for his symptoms. He figured it had something to do with the vessels and blood supply to the pouch sustaining the pregnancy.

 

24 + 5 WEEKS

PERSISTENT DIZZY SPELLS SO CHECKING BLOOD PRESSURE WHEN RESTING AND THEN STANDING- SIGNIFICANT DROP NOTED.

INCREASING APPETITE AND WEIGHT GAIN BUT WITHIN NORMAL LIMITS.

 

“You're not making this easy for daddy eh? But we'll get there. We'll get there”.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jared was sat in his office, twiddling his thumbs and debating on whether to make the phone call or not. He felt like he was betraying Jensen's trust just by even thinking about it. Something was not adding up about his illness and he was worried sick about it. It would just be a quick phone call from one health professional to another to discuss a patient. Except this patient happened to be his boss and boyfriend. He had the name of the physician from Jensen and he had then taken it upon himself to look up the telephone number after he noticed the senior physician had another dizzy spell for the second morning in a row. Sighing outwardly, he picked up the receiver and dialed the number. After being transferred to the right office, he finally got through to the endocrinologist.

 

“Hi, my name is Dr Padalecki. I just wanted to discuss one of your patient's with you. I'm his er, general physician. His name? It's Jensen Ackles. He's not? Really? Are you sure? Okay, thank you very much for you help, sorry to disturb you. Bye” Jared said as he ended the conversation and put the phone back down. He typed the name of the endocrinologist into the computer once again and re-checked the telephone number in front of him. There was only one doctor with that name who specialised in Endocrinology in the state. Had Jensen just made a mistake with the name? Before he had a chance to ponder it anymore, his pager went off summoning him to one of the examining rooms.

 

 

Jensen had just finished off an egg extraction in Exam room 2 and was tidying up after his patient, when he noticed Jared lingering in the doorway. “Hey”.

 

“Hey” Jared said, managing only half a smile. He was distracted and had to get something off his chest. “How you feeling this afternoon?”.

 

“I'm fine, why?” the senior physician asked as he wiped down the probes on the ultrasound machine.

 

“You nearly fainted on me again this morning. I know you didn't think that I noticed, but I did” Jared said as he studied the other man.

 

Rolling his eyes, Jensen nodded his head. He had to be careful every time he stood up because of the drop in his blood pressure but he was getting used to it now and thought he was doing a better job in hiding it. “Low blood sugar levels again. So, where do you want to go for food tonight then?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.

 

Jared sighed. He knew that he would have his head bitten off, but he couldn't keep quiet for any longer. “Are you sure it was Dr Oliver?”.

 

Jensen was too busy finishing off his errands and was now immersed in paperwork so was only half listening “Hhmm, what?”.

 

“Your endocrinologist. You said it was Dr Oliver, are you sure?”. Jared asked, knowing that he was pushing his luck and entering into dangerous territory.

 

The senior physician was still distracted with writing in his previous patient's notes. “Er, yeah”.

 

“Okay. It's just that I rang his office and he says that he's never heard of you and that you aren't on his books-” Jared began but was cut off by his boss slamming something down on his desk in anger.

 

“You did what?” Jensen bellowed as his anger rose. “You had no business in doing that, none what-so-ever. You betrayed me and did the one thing that I asked you not to do and that was interfere in my medical issues”.

 

“It's because I really, really care for you Jensen and I want you to get better. I hate seeing you like this. I did what I thought was best. I just want you to get better. What aren't you telling me Jensen? I'm a physician too, I can help you. I've done some research and things just aren't adding up with you that's all” the younger man said as he began to plead.

 

“Maybe we should just keep things professional between us, okay? I don't want things to affect our patients. Of course I'll still be your mentor” Jensen said in an almost un-nervingly calm way even though his heart was breaking inside.

 

“Are you breaking up with me?” Jared asked as he surveyed the other man for any signs of emotion.

 

Jensen just shrugged his shoulders. “If that's what you want to call it, then yes”. It was breaking his heart to remain so composed. He shuddered at how callous he had sounded.

 

Jared just shook his head. “Well I'm sorry that I care too much”.

 

When Jensen didn't respond and looked away, Jared nodded his head in defeat and slunked out of the door. He expected his boss to be mad, but he never thought that he would react that way. He was sure the other physician would come around in a few hours because his mood swings were so back and fore recently, so he would give him time.

 

When Jensen was alone in his office he sighed loudly and sat down behind his desk putting his head in his hands and felt remorse for what he had just done. He knew the other man was only looking out for him and trying to help but he had to keep things to himself for a little bit longer. He had come too far to risk everything. He had to focus on the baby for now. It wasn't that he didn't trust Jared with this secret, he had to lessen the amount of people who knew in order to avoid him becoming some sort of freak show for the media and jeopardize his baby's life. As he sat up, the baby gave it's strongest kick yet as if to chastise him. It caught him off guard and his hand flew to his stomach. “Yeah I know sweetheart, daddy is an asshole, but don't you hate me too because I'm doing it to protect you!”.

 

Jared stormed over to the nurses station and grabbed the notes for his next patient.

 

Alona looked up at the younger physician. “You okay?”. She could sense the anger coming off him. She hadn't heard the full conversation but she had heard some shouting and banging and knew that the backlash from that wouldn't be good.

 

“Fine, just peachy!” Jared snapped back.

 

“Oh. I see. Trouble in paradise then?” the blonde said half jokingly. When Jared glared at her she ducked her head down. “Oh, I see” she said as her concerns were confirmed.

 

“Apparently I care too much! Whatever. Last time I try and help someone! I'm going to take Mrs Morgan into exam 3 for her scan. Page me when the next one is here” the physician said abruptly as he went off to summon his patient.

 

Jensen walked past his colleague and threw down the notes to Alona and went to pick up the next set of notes when he noticed the blonde nurse staring at him. “What?!”.

 

“Nothing. I'm just wondering how long I'm going to have to put up with the two of you like this. Is this just a little lover's tiff or are you completely over? Because I'm not going to get caught up in the middle of this and take sides. You still have to work with each other here”. Alona took the notes and got to her feet as she filed them away.

 

Jensen opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again as he re-evaluated what he was going to say. “Can you please get Ms Clark prepped in exam 1”.

 

Alona did a mock salute with her hand and called the anxious woman into a room.

 

The phone at the front desk rang breaking up the silence. Jensen was glad of the distraction and something to do so he answered it in a cool, professional voice. He had to stay calm and professional for the sake of his practice and the welfare of his unborn child.

 

 

The rest of the day continued with tension between the two physicians but because of their busy schedules they hadn't really crossed paths until the end of the day when Jensen was handing the pager over to the younger physician.

 

“There's nothing to hand over on my side. Nothing pending as far as I know. I'm off home now, I hope you have a quiet night” Jensen said after he had handed off the pager.

 

Jared nodded his head. “Look, about earlier, I'm sorry, okay? I just want you to know that it's because I care about you. I mean, really care. I just wanted you to know that”. His hand reached out to the other man and their hands touched for a brief moment until Jensen pulled it away.

 

Jensen had enjoyed the touch but he had to stay strong on this one and keep his distance. He wanted to wrap his arms around the other man, wanted to confide in him so much but for now he had to refrain. It hurt him to see the hurt in Jared's eyes, saw how much he cared for him and worried about him.“If you need me I'll be at home, just ring. Otherwise I'll see you in the morning. I suggest you go home too and rest while you can. Good night” he said coldly as he left.

 

The younger man's heart ached as he watched him leave.

 

 

Jensen kept checking his phone as he lay in bed, wishing that Jared was next to him. Jared hadn't called him or text him at all. So he assumed that he was either at home trying to sleep or had been called into the practice and was too busy. After the way he had treated him, he wasn't surprised that he hadn't called.

 

He was beyond exhausted but couldn't get himself off to sleep. Grabbing his stethoscope from the night stand, he pushed the buds into his ears and laid the other end onto his stomach until he found what he was looking for.

 

“I'm not completely alone at least” he whispered into the dark.

 

He listened to the gentle sound of his baby's heartbeat and it lulled him to sleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll fix them again soon I swear :-)


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning during the briefing for the day Jared sneaked in a few minutes late, carrying an extra large coffee. “Sorry, I've just finished a delivery”.

Jensen looked at the coffee with discontent. The smell of caffeine still made him nauseous at times, especially first thing in the morning. Plus seeing Jared made his heart skip a beat. Despite his disheveled appearance and lack of sleep he looked gorgeous, big strong hands cupping that coffee mug. Feeling another wave of nausea wash over him, Jensen pushed on.

“Okay so I've got a few initial consultations to do, Alona you've just got some routine pre-natal appointments, Jared, you are in with Mrs King. So that's it” the pregnant physician said as he rushed through as quick as he could as the nausea built up.

Jared looked as confused as Alona. “What about the Jacksons?”.

“You can take care of that Jared” Jensen said as his stomach rolled. “Excuse me”. He rushed out of the room with his hand over his mouth and ran down the corridor into the nearest restroom as fast as his body would carry him.

“Dammit Jensen!” Jared sighed, knowing best not to follow his boss.

Alona just shrugged her shoulders. “You don't think it's serious do you?”.

“I don't know. I just- don't know. Look I need a shower, if my patient arrives can you please get her all set up for me?”. Jared downed the rest of his coffee and crumpled up the paper cup and threw it as hard as he could at the trash can.

“Sure thing sweetie” the blonde nurse said coolly as she breezed out of the room.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jensen was sat behind the desk at the nurse's station when Alona approached him somewhat cautiously. “I know you're meant to see Ms Joseph next but you have an emergency. Mrs Thompson is in Exam 2. She's worried about foetal movements and needs a reassurance scan. Jared is busy doing an egg extraction so are you able to see her?”.

The senior physician nodded his head solemnly. “Yes, of course. I need to reassure an anxious mom”.

“Thank you” the blonde nurse said. She was still treading carefully with the two physicians as things were still strained between them but at least they could still stay professional with each other and with their patients so that was something. She watched the careful calculated way the physician got up from his chair as if it were an effort and watched his slow walk down the corridor like he was carrying a huge burden on his shoulders.

Jensen found his patient sat nervously on the edge of the examining table, hands moving all around her swollen stomach anxiously. “Okay, so you're.....35 weeks now?” he asked as he glanced at the chart.

“Yeah” the woman answered.

“When was the last time you felt the baby move?” Jensen asked his patient as he summoned her to lie down on the table. He pushed her shirt up out of the way and began to feel around.

“I- I'm not sure. Last night maybe? She moves around all the time, keeps me up all night. I've not felt her at all today yet, it's not like her. Please tell me she's okay. Please!” the pregnant women begged.

The physician remained calm as per usual. He picked up the machine to listen for a heartbeat. He positioned the probe perfectly in the right place and the steady sound of a beating heart filled the room. “Her heart is beating fine, nice and strong and steady. Sometimes as you near the end the baby runs out of room, movements tend to slow down somewhat. So you need to go home, rest for a couple of days and just focus on her movements, okay? Count every kick and keep track of her movements and if you get worried again you know where I am”.

“I'm sorry, for wasting your time. I was just being paranoid that's all. Thank you so much Dr Ackles”.

“It's never a waste of time. I'd rather air on the side of caution with these things” Jensen said as he a put his hand on his own swollen stomach, camouflaged today under an extra layer as well as his white coat. As he bid farewell to his patient, his hand remained on his stomach as he tried to feel for the baby moving. Come to think of it, the baby hadn't moved at all today yet. In fact he couldn't remember the last time he had felt her move. He had been so busy yesterday he didn't pay any attention to whether the baby had moved then. He had just reached 25 weeks and telling Jared about the baby was only a week away. He had come too far for something to go wrong. Grabbing the heartbeat monitor he pressed it to his stomach and nodded in relief when he heard a heartbeat but he still couldn't shake the anxiety that something was wrong so he lay down on the table and pressed his hands into his belly as he closed his eyes. “Come on sweetie, please move”. He nudged gently to no avail.

A gentle knock on his door roused him from his thoughts. The swell in his stomach wasn't as obvious when he lay down in this position so he stayed as he was as he called out for someone to come in. He was too comfortable like this and wouldn't be able to get up quickly anyway as it would require too much effort. Plus he needed to stay nice and calm and relaxed. He didn't really need to even look up to know who it was as he recognized the sound of the footsteps.

Jared lingered in the doorway, obviously anxious to get something off his chest.

“What is it Jared? If you're coming in then please shut the door” Jensen said as he adjusted his position on the table and pulled his coat over him, but hands still concentrated on his mid-drift. He didn't want everyone to see him lying down on the bed.

Closing the door, Jared surveyed his boss. He looked even more tired and his face looked almost haggered and slightly puffy. “Okay. I just need to know once thing. One more thing from you and then I'll drop it. I swear, I'm done. One question!”.

Jensen pushed himself up into a sitting with some effort and draped the stethoscope back around his neck. He wasn't going to be able to concentrate like this. “Okay. One question”.

Jared began pacing the room for a few seconds before starting. “How sick are you? I mean, is it cancer? Are you dying?”.

The pregnant physician had to work hard to stop himself from breaking into a grin. “Technically that's three questions”. The other man's unimpressed face and silence said it all. “No it's not, and no I'm not”.

Nodding his head Jared made a move to open the door. “Fine. Oh and I saw to your last patient for you and your next one is here”.

Before Jensen had a chance to respond, the other physician was out of the door. The baby chose that moment to kick him particularly hard under his ribs. “Oh now you decide to move! Just not so hard next time, just a gentle nudge once in a while to let me know that you are okay”. Getting to his feet, he readjusted his scrub top and white coat and headed back out.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared had thought long and hard about it for a few days now. After his latest run in with his boss, he was now sure that it was the right decision. Jensen seemed to be avoiding him more and more and instead of teaching him and giving him amazing opportunities he was being giving menial tasks. Plus it was still awkward around him. Still, it felt like a betrayal. His boss had made it clear that he didn't want any help in dealing with whatever he was dealing with. Sealing the envelope shut, he placed it on the senior physician's desk and left the office.

 

Jared was sat at the front desk as he finished writing up some notes, talking to Alona when Jensen slammed an envelope down in front of him breaking up his train of thought.

“What the hell is this?” Jensen asked in fit of rage.

“Er, my resignation” the younger man said honestly. This wasn't quite how he hoped it would go down.

Alona looked shocked at the revelation.

“I know. But why?” Jensen asked as he picked the envelope back up. “You can't just leave, I won't allow it. I do not accept your resignation” he said as he ripped up the envelope and threw the pieces down on the floor.

Alona looked around the waiting room before getting to her feet. “I don't think this is the time or the place for this. Take it out the back” she said in a whisper.

“Fine. I need to you see in my office right now Jared!” Jensen bellowed. He was trying to keep his anger at bay but he was beyond mad. There was no way he could let him leave, not now, not when he was so close and needed him to stick around.

Jared stormed off ahead of his boss and he began pacing around the office until the other man had caught up with him and slammed the door shut behind them. “You want to talk? Then talk!”.

“After everything that I've taught you over the past 18 months or so, you want to leave? I've invested all that time in you for nothing. I can't believe how ungrateful you are being!” Jensen shouted. He nearly doubled over as the baby caught him under the ribs. “Ow!”.

“Are you okay?” Jared asked, forgetting his anger momentarily.

“Yes!” the pregnant physician almost shouted out as he rubbed at his stomach.

“I know. I'm sorry. But this is what I'm on about, you won't let me in! You have no idea how amazing it has been, working for you, learning so much. And I'll always be eternally grateful for that. But you are making it unbearable for me right now to even be in the same room as you. You are not teaching me right anymore and I need to learn, I want to learn. It's going to start affecting our patients. You won't let me in, you won't let me help you when that's all I've done is care for you. So, I think that it's best that I leave. It feels like you're punishing me now for trying to care too much. I've been offered another job elsewhere, but I won't leave you until you get a replacement. Sorry” the younger physician said, ending in a calmer manner. “I want to be the best physician that I can be. I want to be-like you. And whilst you are holding this grudge against me for just caring about you and trying to help you, that's never going to happen”.

Jensen exhaled slowly to try and calm himself down. The baby was reacting to his anger and was kicking the hell out of him right now. He put a hand on the side of his stomach. “Look, I have something going on right now. And I'm scared.....”.

“Then tell me Jensen, let me in, please” Jared begged noticing that Jensen was touching his belly again. It seemed to be a permanent thing recently.

“I can't, not yet. Please respect that. You'll know soon, really soon”. A few days time, Jensen thought mentally. He was being stubborn and holding firm on his idea of waiting until he was 26 weeks exactly. He wasn't sure whether it was superstition or bloody mindedness but he had to see it through. “I'm trying out some new procedure tomorrow and I want you involved. I'm trialing a new fertilization method. Would you like to assist me? I'm sorry that I've been distracted recently and not giving the opportunities that you need, but let's just put things aside and get back to normal. So do you want to assist me tomorrow in a fertilization?”.

Jared smiled and nodded but then his face fell. “Is this trying to bribe me to stay?”.

Shrugging his shoulders, Jensen sighed. “No. You're capable of bigger and better things. I'm just asking you to give it a few more weeks, then if you still want to leave.......then I'll accept your resignation graciously. And I'll try and be less of an ass in the meantime. You want to learn more, then I'll teach you more. So that if-when you want to leave you'll have something more to add to your resume”.

“Okay. I can't ask for any fairer than that” the younger man said.

Exhaling at another sharp kick from the baby Jensen scrunched his face up.

It wasn't lost on Jared. “You sure you're okay?”.

“Yeah it's just the b-” Jensen began before realizing what he was about to say. “It's fine”.

“Fine”. That seemed to be his boss' favourite word these days. He wanted to leave, wanted to walk out, but Jensen's words 'I'm scared' resonated in his head. “Anyway, could I please get your opinion on Mrs Cooper's FSH tests. I just want to make sure it's correct before I break it to her that she only has 3 good eggs left to use”.

“Of course. I'll be out in a minute. Out of interest, where's your job offer?” Jensen enquired.

“St Vincent's. I thought that you didn't accept my resignation?”. Jared was surprised by the sudden change of tune.

“I don't. But it's a good place. I did my residency there. You'll fit in well. You're an extraordinary young man”. There was sincerity in the older physician's voice.

Jared felt that little spark between them reignite for just a second. But whilst Jensen was being cagey about things he knew that they could never get that spark to grow bigger again. “And you are an extraordinary physician”.

There was a brief knock on the door and Alona appeared. “You've got an emergency c-section on the way in”.

Jensen could see the eager look on Jared's face. “Go. I'll take Mrs Cooper for you”.

“Thank you” Jared said as he bounced out of the door.


	10. Chapter 10

Jensen had spent over five minutes scrubbing up to do the sterile fertilization procedure alongside Jared. He had just put on a long sleeved sterile coat and was about to put on his gloves when the baby gave him a sharp kick to his bladder causing him to nearly double over. He realized that he had been so busy he had had no time for a bathroom break at all today which was never usually a problem. This procedure would be delicate and take at least half an hour or so and would require immense concentration. He was weighing up the options when the baby kicked again and made the decision for him.

 

“All good to go?”. Jared was scrubbed and prepared and was so excited about it and had been since his boss had mentioned it the day before, that he didn't notice the other man's discomfort.

 

Alona had noticed and looked concerned. “Dr Ackles?”.

 

Quickly de-scrubbing, Jensen threw the coat into the trash. He needed to get to the bathroom straight away, his bladder screaming out for his attention, the baby not making it easy for him. “Excuse me for a second…..” he said. When Jared looked at him questioningly he lowered his voice. “I have to- bathroom. Just re-check the sperm and the egg under the microscope and I'll be back” as said as he began to walk towards the door and made an attempt to sprint down the corridor to the nearest bathroom to relieve himself. The baby was sitting down low in his pelvis, having moved and shifted its position a few days ago. He sighed in relief and exited the stall. As he stood over the sink and washed his hands, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. The swell in the stomach was now too pronounced under the folds and creases of his scrub top and white coat to hide. The baby had gained a lot of weight just in the past few days. Luckily, his face and hips had gotten rounder too so he could pass it off with being a little on the heavy side. He was hoping that his story about having to take steroids would explain his weight gain and everybody would buy it. Splashing his face with cold water, he slowly waddled back down the corridor into the procedure room and began scrubbing back up. “Sorry, I -really had to go. Anyway where are we at?”.

 

“Everything looks good here. The sperm has good motility, the egg is about as healthy as it comes. Wow, I can't believe I'm actually going to help make a baby here. I've studied up on this, I'm ready”. Jared's enthusiasm over this was almost adorable. “I've never done this bit before. Making an actual embryo!”.

 

Jensen was halfway through scrubbing up again and then stopped. “Okay. You're doing this and I'm just going to supervise you”.

 

“What? What if I mess it up?” the younger physician asked anxiously.

 

“You won't mess it up because I'm going to be guiding you through every step of the way. Just like I always do. Just like I've done before, like we used to do. So, you are not going to mess up” Jensen consoled his colleague.

 

Jared smiled and listened to his mentor's every word as he injected the sperm into the egg and watched as they merged and fertilized. It would be another 48 hours before it turned into an embryo and was ready for implantation. “We made a baby”. He was unable to hide the elation on his face.

 

“You made a baby” Jensen corrected.

 

“I made a baby”. Jared went to reach for the petri dish the same time as the other man did and their hands inadvertently touched and held onto one another. They both looked away shyly until the older man spoke.

 

Jensen cleared his throat.“You can do the honors in calling mom and dad-to-be in so you can implant the embryo. Fingers crossed over the next 48 hours, but it looks good. I've got some paperwork to get on with and I'm on-call tonight so I want to get ahead of the game. I'll leave you to finish up here”.

 

“Jensen? Thank you”. Jared smiled.

 

“I'm still not going to accept your resignation” the other physician said back.

 

Jared just shook his head as the high he had from doing the procedure was short lived. “I know”.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

There weren't any patients due to come in, so Jensen decided to head to Walgreens to pick up some food, pager in tow. He had enjoyed working closely with Jared again today and was relieved that things weren't as awkward anymore. He had to try because he was driving Jared away. He was all prepared to tell Jared about the baby, but he was scared that it would just push him further away. He had no choice right now. He was in too deep and needed help. He shuddered to think what would happen if Jared declined and freaked out on him. Yawning, he trudged down the aisles picking out some food that took his fancy. It mostly consisted of sugary treats and pastries which went against all the advice he gave his women. Loosening his buttons on his jackets, he started to head toward the checkout when he stopped by the baby section. Before he knew what he was doing he was checking out the romper suits and booties. He sighed sadly. He couldn't get too attached just yet. At that moment, his pager went off breaking off his thought. Heading to the checkout to pay for his things he then headed to the clinic.

 

 

When Jensen was called back into the clinic for a delivery it only took a couple of hours and he wasn't needed again but he was too exhausted to drive back home so he spent the night on the couch in his office. Unfortunately his back didn't appreciate the sleeping arrangements. Getting up off the couch he moaned as he stretched out his back. He made the most of being alone before the rest of his employees and his patients turned up so he carried out some checks on himself starting with his blood pressure which was normal. He drew some more blood to send off to check for his hormone levels. Yawning, he pulled out his notebook from his drawer.

 

25 + 6 WEEKS

GROWTH ON TARGET. POUCH STILL HOLDING FIRM ON ULTRASOUND. BLOOD PRESSURE NORMAL. BABY WILL HAVE REACHED A VIABLE STAGE TOMORROW.

 

Jensen put his notebook back in the drawer and locked it as he heard a noise out in the corridor signaling that someone else was in. Grabbing a pastry from his bag of treats he went to see who it was. Opening the door, he saw Jared by the nurse's station in the lobby.

 

Jared looked up at his boss “Hey”.

 

“Morning” the pregnant physician said as he lingered by the desk. He was trying to work out another kink in his back.

 

“How was your night?” Jared asked.

 

“It was fine. I just stayed here last night, it was easier than going home. Anyway, I'm going to go and freshen up. I'll see you in a bit”. Jensen started to walk towards the bathroom when his colleague spoke again.

 

“They want me to start next month. In St Vincent's. Have you found someone else yet?” Jared asked, trying to ask as subtly as he could.

 

Jensen stopped in his tracks. “No. Because I still don't accept your resignation”. He was too tired to have the same argument again.

 

“Wow, are you still pissed with me? Really? You're still bearing a grudge over all of this? I did begin to have my doubts over my resignation but now I'm not!” Jared shouted.

 

“You betrayed me Jared. You went behind my back- do you know what? I'm sick of having the same argument with you time after time. If you want to leave, then go”. He knew it was hypocritical of him to say that. The baby kicked him hard under the ribs, causing him to nearly double over. He felt dizzy and clutched onto the edge of the desk for support.

 

Jared was up on his feet and sat the other physician down in a chair before he had a chance to protest. “Just don't move” he ordered before rushing off.

 

Jensen scrunched up his eyes to try and alleviate the dizziness. As it started to subside he went to stand up and felt an arm pushing him back down and a blood pressure cuff strapped around his arm. “What are you doing?”.

 

“Just humour me, okay?” the younger physician as he said. He frowned when he saw the reading flash up. “It's high”.

 

“Happy now?” the pregnant man asked as he removed the cuff and got to his feet. “I know it's high and I'm monitoring it, okay? I just don't need any extra stress right now. I just need, a shower and some breakfast, okay?”.

 

Jared knew he wasn't going to get anywhere else with this right now so he just nodded his head and let the other man go. He was back to feeling torn again about his decision to leave.

 

 

 

Jensen knew that his younger colleague had a break in between his patients. It was now or never, he had to come clean for fear of driving him away further. He had to give him the opportunity to want to stay. He didn’t want to lose him as a colleague like he had already lost him as a friend and lover. He found Jared in his office writing up some notes. They had barely spoken since yesterday. “Jared? Can I see you in my office as soon as you are done with that please?”.

 

Jared nodded his head nervously. He was rarely summoned to his boss' office. “O-kay”. Finishing up his paperwork he had a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach about what his boss had to say to him. Anxiously, he went to his boss’ office and knocked on the door. When he heard an answer from the other side, he opened the door and slowly strode over to the desk. His hands were shaky. “Are you going to accept my resignation now? Formally accept it? Because this is getting silly now”.

 

“No” the older physician said oblivious to the other man’s nervousness as he was battling with his own butterflies.

 

“I'm leaving Jensen, it doesn't matter what you say. I just can't work with you anymore whilst things are like this between us” Jared said, his voice cracking slightly.

 

“Just sit down will you, there’s something that I need to show you. You want a challenge, you want a good case? You want a reason to stay? You want to know everything? Then take a look through these notes please” Jensen said as he slid a manilla file across the table. He pulled his white coat over his stomach. He wanted to hide it from Jared for just a few more minutes. Today was the day. Today he would reveal everything now that the baby was over the threshold. To say that he was nervous was an understatement. Everything was riding on the other man's reaction to this.

 

“Okay. So you’ve called me in here to look at a case? What the fuck? I told you I'm leaving, really leaving. Jesus, you’re an asshole!“ Jared shouted.

 

Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jared, just read through the damn notes will you. It will explain everything, okay? And I mean everything. And I need your help”.

 

“Fine” Jared said as he flipped through the patient file entitled; MS JEN ROSS. “Fine, er, normal pregnancy, 26 weeks. Bloods look good. Normal growth, normal scans. Why are you showing me this? This is a textbook pregnancy by the looks of things. How is this a case? How is this going to make me stay? You are more than capable, more qualified than me, why do you need my help? And why will this explain everything? What am I missing here?”. There were a million and one questions going around in his head right now and he was confused.

 

Jensen felt the baby kick and he resisted to put his hand on his stomach to placate her. He leaned forward in his chair and double checked that the door to his office was closed properly. “It’s experimental and extremely risky. It’s top secret, only I’m involved, the FDA don’t know anything about it and they can't know. Not yet, maybe not ever”.

 

Jared quirked an eyebrow. He still didn't understand. “Experimental? Experimental how? I still don‘t get this…”. His patience was beginning to wear thin. If he wasn't so intrigued then he would get up and walk out.

 

“What if I told you this patient was a man….” the pregnant physician revealed almost whispering.

 

“Man? That’s not possible. Scientifically impossible. Is this your idea of a joke or something? Because this is not funny. Besides….how? And who on earth who let you experiment on them? You would never get FDA approval to do that” Jared stated, more questions going through his head at the speed of light. He almost wanted to ask if he was on candid camera.

 

Exhaling slowly, Jensen leaned back in his chair and let his coat open up. He then cupped his hands around his stomach, showing off the obvious swell.

 

Jared looked from the notes, to Jensen, and then gasped with realization. “No…..you? You’re….you can’t be. How on earth? You're pregnant?!”.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

Jared looked from the notes, to Jensen, and then gasped with realization. “No…..you? You’re….you can’t be. How on earth? You're pregnant?!”.

 

Jensen smoothed down his scrub top and opened up the top drawer of his desk and pulled out the other stack of notes documenting the experiment and the details. He passed the notebook over to his colleague. “This will tell you what you need to know. I’ll give you a few moments to read through it whilst I use the bathroom. She’s been kicking the hell out of my bladder for the last 10 minutes and I really need to pee, again….but you didn't need to know that......I'm nervous about this....anyway....you read....I'll be back” he said as he got to his feet and left a very shocked Jared to it.

 

When Jensen returned a few minutes later, Jared was still in a state of shock but he now looked more curious than anxious after reading through the notes. “She?”.

 

Smiling, Jensen nodded. “She”.

 

“This is…truly remarkable, but what the hell have you done? I mean, you are crazy Jensen, think about all of the risks! Has this all come from your research into creating an artificial uterus? What are you are doing to your body? And risking your medical licence!”. Jared took a moment to control himself and reset but it was hard as there were a million and one questions running through his head right now. “Well, that explains your behaviour over the past few months, I put it down to stress and your thyroid problem, but…why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asked, his anger now back with full vengeance. “You absolute hypocrite! You accused me of betraying you, when you've been lying to me for months! That's the absolute betrayal right there”.

 

Jensen felt a pang of guilt and knew the other man was right. “Just let me explain please, sit back down. There's some thing that you need to know. It was never meant to go this far. Everything about this has been a miracle. It was a miracle when I managed to cultivate the artificial uterus. It was a miracle when my body accepted it. It was a miracle when the embryo took and I reached 6 weeks. It was a miracle when I reached 8 weeks. It defied all the odds and I knew that I had to keep going. But then things got too much for me and my body because the symptoms were too much for me to handle and things were so good between us and it was hampering our relationship so I stopped the hormone injections and thought the embryo would reabsorb. I thought it was over. I stopped it, I did it for us- I did it for you and I'd achieved more than I ever thought I could with this. I was still feeling out of sorts after that and I did a check about a month later and found that the baby was very much alive, I was still pregnant despite stopping the experiment. Another miracle” Jensen said as he remembered having to take another pregnancy test to confirm.

 

Jared nodded his understanding. “The placenta took over the hormone production and made the baby thrive”.

 

“Yeah. I panicked at first, but I then got curious to see if I could make it to 16 weeks, kept pushing my luck. Then I felt her move, little flutters at first and then she started to really kick. That's when it all became incredibly real. That's when it was no longer an experiment but about protecting a life, my daughter's life. I couldn’t give her up, I couldn’t get rid of my baby. I scanned myself almost on a weekly basis, saw her grow and grow, and thrive” Jensen said as he put his hand on his stomach feeling his little miracle kick again. “I was in too deep. I couldn't stop. I had already jeopardized my medical license, it was too late for me”.

 

Jared got to his feet and ran his fingers through his hair. “And the FDA definitely don’t know anything about this? No-one does?”.

 

Jensen shook his head.

 

“Why tell me, why now?” the younger man asked. “I mean, why not sooner? I could have- helped. All this time of me watching you suffer and you holding back on me, I asked and asked and asked and you kept pushing me away, so why now Jensen?”.

 

“I’m 26 weeks today, which means that she’s now officially viable. It means that if anything happens to her now, then technically she can be saved and survive. But I need your help. I need you to deliver her. Hell if you need to deliver her next week or even tomorrow she will stand an excellent chance of survival. Of course, I’m aiming for at least 32 weeks” Jensen said with hope. “I wanted to tell you sooner, I really did. I just had to wait until she got this far. But I'm telling you now because I don't want to lose you and I need your help. Please, I can't do it without you”.

 

“Me? Jensen, I don’t know…..I could lose my license over this, everything that I've worked hard for just because you've had this mad-hat idea of getting yourself pregnant!”. Anger built up inside of him. “If you had told me sooner then I probably would have talked you out of this for sure!”.

 

“Like I said, it was not meant to go this far. But now that it has….what do you expect me to do here? She’s not going to just crawl out herself, there’s no way out for her Jared. It could kill us both, is that what you want? I need your help, I trust you Jared. Please…just come here” Jensen begged. “I thought we were in some sort of relationship….and you wanted to help”.

 

“We were and I do, but you ended that a couple of weeks ago and this is a lot to take in Jensen!”. Jared rubbed his temples and walked over to Jensen who was now stood up. He looked at the distinct roundness under Jensen’s scrubs. How the hell hadn’t he noticed this before properly? He knew that he was gaining weight due to the medications. This at least explained why Jensen had pulled away from him when they were intimate with each other. In fact, it really did explain everything. “Just tell me one thing? Why did you end our relationship? The truth, no more lies!”.

 

“Because I didn't want to jeopardize your job and your license. I had to wait. I had to wait until now. If the pregnancy never made it this far and you knew about it, I didn't want to risk your medical license over nothing. I really didn't want to end things between us, I panicked! I really care about you Jared but I had to protect you like I have to protect my daughter. If you still want to walk away from all of this then I'm not going to stop you. I accept your resignation, but you deserved to know the truth”. Jensen lifted up his scrubs to reveal his burgeoning stomach. “She’s moving, feel. Then you’ll understand how I got too involved in this” he said as he reached out for Jared’s hand.

 

The other man reluctantly brought his hand over and wincing he put it over the pregnant man’s stomach and where Jensen moved it to. He felt a foot push out against his hand and he pulled it back quickly until curiosity got the better of him and he put it back where he felt another movement. “Holy crap…..she moved….I mean….you’re really pregnant”. Jared didn’t know what to do or think right now. “I need time….I need to think about this Jensen, I’m sorry….” he said as he made a bolt for the door.

 

Jensen quickly tucked his scrub top back into his scrub pants and pulled his coat over him as he went after his colleague. “Jared” he shouted as the other man stormed off down the corridor. He didn’t have the energy to chase after him. He decided that he would give Jared some space seeing as he just dropped a bombshell on him.

 

Alona saw her boss and called him. “Dr Ackles? Your next patient is waiting for you in Exam Room 1”.

 

“Yep, I’ll be there now” Jensen said as he took the notes off the nurse and headed to his patient. He was glad of the distraction and for something to do.

 

Mrs Hurst was lying down on the examining couch ready for the physician. She smiled when she saw Jensen. “Afternoon”.

 

Jensen tried to forget the last 20 minutes or so and concentrate on his patient and give her the professionalism she deserved. “How are we feeling today?”.

 

“Pregnant” the woman said as she rubbed her tummy. “Very pregnant”.

 

“Yeah” Jensen said in sympathy and agreement as he rubbed his aching back. “So you’re at…..34 weeks” he said as he checked her notes. Have you thought about any birth plans yet?”.

 

“All natural. No drugs if I can help it. Given that he was conceived artificially, I want his birth to be as natural as possible” the pregnant woman said.

 

“Okay” the physician said. “I’m just going to take a feel here, make sure he’s getting ready for the head down position”. He donned his gloves and started to examine his patient. “Looks like he’s getting ready” he smiled. “We'll check you again in a couple of weeks to make sure he's still the right way up and then you can have your natural delivery”.

 

The pregnant woman smiled and looked elated. “Dr Ackles….thank you. You’ve given me the best gift ever, me and my husband have been waiting such a long time for this….thank you”.

 

Jensen smiled. “You’ve done all the hard work here Mrs Hurst. I just gave you a little helping hand at the beginning that’s all. Things all look great here. So I want to see you again in 2 weeks time. In the meantime take it easy and you know where to call if you have any problems”.

 

Mrs Hurst grabbed Jensen’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you”.

 

“No worries” the physician said as he removed his gloves and threw them in the trash can. He headed out the room to give his patient some privacy in which to change. He saw Jared come marching down the corridor and make a beeline for him.

 

Jared grabbed hold of Jensen’s coat and pulled him down the corridor towards his office.

 

“Jared? What the hell are you doing?” Jensen asked as he tried to pull away.

 

Once inside Jensen’s office, Jared locked the door and handed his boss a specimen cup. “Do you think you’ll be able to give me a urine sample?”.

 

Jensen looked shocked as he reluctantly took the cup. “Er, I guess so. I seem to always need to pee these days”. When Jared didn’t say anything else, he backed up towards the door. “Well…I’ll…be back in a few minutes” he said as he headed into the en-suite bathroom. When he returned, he put the cup on the counter next to his colleague. “What’s this all about?”.

 

Jared frowned when he saw the sample. “It looks dark. You obviously haven’t been drinking enough today”.

 

“I’ve had a busy day” the senior physician said, blushing. “I can't be peeing every 5 minutes Jared I've got patients to attend to”.

 

“Yeah, about that, you should really be slowing down” Jared said as he dipped the urine.

 

“What?” Jensen asked indignantly.

 

“You want to get to 32 weeks? Lie on the bed for me. Urine is negative for protein” Jared said as he brought over a torniquet and some blood collecting tubes.

 

“Yes I know!”. Jensen moved slowly over to the examining couch and with some effort, hoisted himself up. Before he knew what was happening, Jared had stabbed him with a needle in his arm. “Ow. I can do that myself”.

 

Jared shook his head. “No you can’t. Because I’m your physician now. I'm your OB/GYN. I can't believe I just said that”.

 

Flinching as the other man adjusted the position of the needle slightly he looked confused. “Does this mean…that you’re going to help me? You're going to stay?”.

 

The younger man finished collecting the blood and put the vials aside. He pulled up a stool next to the other man who was on the bed, hands fidgeting around nervously over his stomach. “Yes. Of course I’m going to help you Jensen. I care about you, a lot. I’m not going to give up on us, our relationship. I’m not letting you off the hook that easily, you are not pushing me away. Besides I don't have much choice do I? Like you said there's no way out for her. You would both die. I'm staying. And I love you, and I know that you love me too even though you are so damn stupid”.

 

Jensen closed his eyes and sighed as he nodded his head. “I know. I never planned on this getting this far and I never set out to deceive you. That was never my intention. That's why I terminated the experiment at just under 8 weeks because I wanted you. I put you first. And now I want my baby too. Now I'm at the viable stage, I'm so damn scared that something is going to go wrong at the last hurdle. I'm sorry for pushing you away. I'm sorry for the way I treated you and the horrible things that I said”.

 

“I know. I would have helped you sooner had you told me. But I’m going to help you through this now, I’m not letting anything happen to you, or…our baby” the younger man said, coming to a decision.

 

“Really?” the pregnant man checked. This was turning out better than he had ever thought it would. It was more than he deserved after the crap he had put the other man through.

 

“Of course. But I need to know everything about this experiment- your pregnancy. No more holding back, no more lies. If I’m going to deliver her, I need detailed scans, the location of the baby, the pouch. But I need to know where the egg came from first”.

 

“Anonymous, donated for research purposes. The sperm came from myself. So she’s mine. And she’s not even born yet, but I love her so much. Every time she kicks or moves, each one is a little miracle. I’ve come this far and I can’t lose her yet. It started off as an experiment, I wanted to see if I could help other people get pregnant by using an artificial uterus. And now, I’m being totally selfish, but I just want my baby” Jensen said as he struggled to hold back the flow of tears.

 

Jared rubbed his eyes and smiled remorsefully. “You will. You are an amazing physician, an amazing person, you always go the extra mile for your patients…but putting your own life in danger? Jesus Jensen! You could die! Right…okay, focus” he said gathering courage. “Is there anything that you’ve been worried about recently?”.

 

Jensen relaxed back into the examining couch and sighed. “All my levels have been okay recently. As the placenta has taken over the hormone production, I’ve had to inject less and less. My blood pressure is maybe a little over normal as you saw yesterday, but nothing to be concerned about just yet, as you can imagine it‘s been a stressful few weeks especially. On the last scan last week, the pouch was still holding firm. Her growth seems to be right on target. She's perfect”.

 

“That’s good” Jared said as he got to his feet and pulled the ultrasound machine over to them. “Can I take a look? Take some measurements? Locate the pouch?”.

 

Without a moment’s hesitation, Jensen lifted up his scrubs and lowered his pants and covered his waist with some paper roll. He watched as Jared covered the expanse of his swell with the ultrasound gel. “She’s quite high up…”.

 

Jared had seen the swell of his boss’ stomach, felt the baby kick, but it wasn’t until he located the baby on the scanner, that he suddenly gasped at the reality of the whole thing. “Wow. That’s really a baby in there….”.

 

Jensen laughed. “Yeah, don’t I know it! I’ve experienced it all over the past few months, morning sickness, heartburn, peeing all the time, hell, I even went through PMS before the implantation. I definitely have a new found respect for what my patients go through”.

 

“Well, that would explain a lot of stuff going on with you over the last 6 months. I thought it was the stress of the job, the mood swings and outbursts. And you had started to eat all the time, which is why you put on weight” the younger man said. “Signs of stress and working long and unsociable hours coupled with your thyroid problem…wait, you don‘t actually have a thyroid problem do you?”. He suddenly came to the realization. “I knew it didn't add up. That's why the endocrinologist had never heard of you. You were never seeing anybody because you don't have a thyroid problem do you?”.

 

“No, I don‘t. I needed an excuse for my symptoms and to why I was going to get fat. Then the baby developed an addiction to apple fritters which didn‘t help….but God…I can’t get enough of them. And before you say anything, my cholesterol and sugar levels have been just fine” the pregnant man said as he peered over at the ultrasound machine. “And obviously I haven’t had any alcohol. And the smell of coffee still makes me sick”.

 

“Well at least I know now that you are not a recovering alcoholic!” Jared said amusedly. “I did worry for a little while about your sudden aversion to anything alcoholic. And that would explain you making a rather hasty exit from the office the other morning when I had my coffee with me”.

 

Jensen groaned. “Yeah, but I miss it. I miss wine. And vodka. Oh and beer. I wasn't an alcoholic before I got pregnant I swear” he hastened to add when he saw the other man's reaction.

 

Jared carried on with the scan, fascinated at every little detail despite having scanned hundreds of pregnant women before. “Okay, so the pouch is in the midline, midway between your lower costals and the iliac crests” he said marking that down on a piece of paper. “The pouch is attached to the anterior borders of your splenic and hepatic flexures of your large bowel, it looks vascularised too. How on earth am I going to remove that without rupturing the bowel? I’m not a gastro surgeon……fuck!”. The fear was back when he realized just what he was getting himself into.

 

Jensen just smiled. “You don’t remove the pouch. It should just break down after the baby is delivered. I’m taking anti rejection medication too so my body doesn’t reject the cells of the pouch. Once I stop taking all the medications, my body will reject it and it will be re-absorbed, but they are cultivated from my own cells so it shouldn't be a problem. Antibiotic cover to prevent infection, and it should be just fine. I’ve thought of everything here Jared”.

 

“Yeah…but it’s still risky” Jared said, going into panic mode again.

 

“And if the worst comes to the worst, I go to see a gastro surgeon. It would just be like an adhesion to my bowel and they can laser it off, no problem. People get them all the time” the pregnant man said.

 

Jared checked the baby’s measurements, limbs, heart and spine and couldn’t see anything alarming, not that he was expecting anything to be out of place because Jensen had been scanning himself every week. Everything was normal- except that it wasn’t normal because this was a male pregnancy. “She looks great, there‘s plenty of fluid around her, but I do think we are at risk of the fluid leaking out from the pouch. We need to keep an eye on it. Maybe increase the scans to every 5 days? But other than that…..perfect”. The baby moved her right hand around and almost looked like she was waving to them.

 

“I think she’s trying to say hello!” Jensen said laughing.

 

“Yeah” Jared said, still in awe at the whole thing. “Wait…..you showed me scan a few weeks ago, about a spot on the heart. You seemed quite cagey about who the patient was. Was that, you?”.

 

Jensen smiled. “Yeah. I was scared that there was something wrong with her heart. I re-scanned a few days later like you had suggested and it had gone. It’s all okay. Doppler flow is perfect. I knew that it was just an anomaly, I've seen it numerous times before, I was just being paranoid that's all. I shouldn't have doubted myself. She’s perfect!”.

 

“You must have been so scared doing this alone Jensen”. Jared reached out to the pregnant man’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Once he was satisfied with everything, he put the probe back in the holder and helped Jensen wipe the gel off his stomach. He reached for a tape measure and measured Jensen’s belly. “Yeah, you are measuring 26 weeks here. So, the plan now is that you’ve really got to slow down with work. Take your own advice that you give to your patients. But you’ve got to cut down on work, we can’t risk you falling and dislodging the pouch, or your blood pressure rising anymore because it will increase the pressure in the blood vessels and put you at risk of rupturing. I think by 32 weeks, we can start giving you steroids to mature the baby’s lungs ready for an early delivery”.

 

Jensen nodded his head. “Yes, I know, that’s what I was thinking. And if there’s signs of the pouch rupturing, then we can start the steroids even earlier. I can’t wait to meet her, I bet she's going to be gorgeous. You've got no idea how much I've wanted to tell people and shout out to the world that I'm pregnant”.

 

Jared’s expression then changed serious again. “You are no where near out of the woods yet Jensen. Your life is in danger here and will continue to be until she is out and you are all stitched back up. I still can’t believe you’ve risked your life here, risked your medical license. And now, I’m involved too. Crap”.

 

“I’m sorry Jared. Like I said, this was never meant to go this far, okay? I stopped the experiment, but- look, it's not too late, you can change your mind. If you want to walk away from this, me, us, your job, find somewhere else, I’ll understand” Jensen said as he sat up, groaning from the effort and slid off the table as he sorted out his scrubs.

 

“No. I’m not going to leave you Jensen. I can’t, how can I? I can’t leave you like this. Like I said, you are not going to get rid of me this easily. But this has to stay between the two of us, okay? This can’t get out. I can do the spinal myself, give you the epidural, do the C-Section, deliver her and then I’ll do what I can to sort you out afterwards. I’ll order us in an extra neo-natal incubator because she’s going to be small from early delivery. This is serious stuff now. Cut back on your hours. We'll need to monitor you on a daily basis” Jared said practically. “That's my terms”.

 

Jensen just shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever you think is best, I’ll go along with it”.

 

“Good. I need to know everything that’s going on, any little pain, niggle, symptom that you get, okay?”. When he saw Jensen look embarrassed, he shook his head. “Now is not the time to be embarrassed here. I care about you and want you and the baby in my future” the younger physician said as he helped the other man put his white coat on and put his arms around him. “Well now I know why I was struggling to put my arms all the way around you. I thought my arms were getting shorter”.

 

The pregnant physician laughed as he put his head on Jared’s shoulder. He then kissed him on the lips. It felt good to have him in his arms again and to kiss those lips that he had missed so damn much. “Does this mean, are we back together? Because I didn't really want to end our relationship”.

 

Jared finished up the kiss, relishing in the familiarity of it. “Yeah, I guess we are but God, this is going to kill me to say this, but, I think we should refrain from sex, we can’t risk it. It’s a shame really because I’d love to strip your scrubs off right now and do it on your desk!”.

 

“Sex is perfectly safe in pregnancy, whatever the trimester” Jensen argued. “I should know, because I am the expert OB/GYN”.

 

“This is not a normal pregnancy Jensen. I want your blood pressure to remain steady. If anything happens to the blood supply and the pouch then the baby will be in jeopardy. So no sex, okay?” Jared said as his mind flashed back to a couple of weeks ago when they last made love. It had been intense and he felt something stir at the thought of it.

 

Jensen didn’t seem so bothered by it. “That’s okay. I don’t think I’ll be able to manage it anymore to be honest. I’m getting too pregnant to do anything. I think she’s put on a growth spurt in the past week or so”. He tugged his white coat around him as he felt self-conscious again. “I don’t exactly feel my best right now”.

 

“You are still beautiful Jensen. Everything is going to be just fine” Jared said reassuringly.

 

“I know, because I’ve got you and I trust you with my life and my baby’s. I'm sorry that I've kept everything from you and-” Jensen got cut off by Jared putting his finger over his mouth.

 

“Just shut up and kiss me again, okay? There's no rules about no kissing” Jared said as he moved in and kissed the other man just like it was the first time again. It was warm and familiar and he had missed it. When he pulled away he spotted an envelope on the desk with his writing on the front. He took it and ripped it up, throwing the pieces in the trashcan.

 

“Does that mean you take back your resignation?” Jensen asked.

 

Jared smiled and nodded his head.“Afraid so. You're stuck with me now Dr Ackles”.

 

There was a knock on the door and Alona's voice echoed from the other side. “Your patients are waiting for you! Are you both in there?”.

 

Jensen smirked and made his way to the door and unlocked it,opening the door to find the blonde nurse right outside. “We'll be out in just a second”.

 

Alona frowned when she looked between the two physician's. “Oh great, are you two doing it again?”.

 

“Well, we've made up......and I'm not leaving. I'm staying right here” the younger physician said as he looked at the blonde nurse and then back at his reacquainted boyfriend. “I'm not going anywhere”.

 

“Wow, okay! That's great. I don't have to take sides anymore. Thank God. But anyway, seriously, patients?” Alona said as she rolled her eyes and headed back into the waiting room.

 

“So I'm definitely stuck with you then?” Jensen re-affirmed.

 

“Afraid so Dr Ackles” Jared winked as he backed out of the room.

 

Jensen smiled and then exhaled slowly and put his hand over his stomach as he felt a weight being lifted off him as he now had someone else to help him carry his burden. He now believed that he could have Jared and his baby.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

The next day Jared was sat in his office finishing up some paperwork from the night before. His door was ajar and he heard his boss outside in the corridor. He was still trying to digest everything that had happened yesterday. “Morning Jensen” he shouted out.

Jensen appeared in the doorway eating an apple fritter and a box of apple fritters in his other hand. “Morning” he said as he peered out into the corridor and shut the door. “You're still here then, I haven't scared you away”.

Jared laughed. “No. I told you I'm not going anywhere”. He watched as Jensen munched away on his fritter and had noticed the way he had walked into the room and stood there. It was so obvious now that he knew his boss was pregnant, his gait had changed. He was still trying to digest the information, part of him still thinking that it was just a dream that he had had last night. He looked disapprovingly at the box of fritters. “Is that your breakfast?”.

The pregnant physician frowned. “No. I had breakfast before I left the house. I'm hungry again. One of the perks of being pregnant. Anyway, why are you in so early? Your first patient isn't due for another hour”.

“I was up early, I couldn't sleep, so I thought I may as well just come into work, get some work done”. Jared tapped some keys on his keyboard which peaked his boss' interest.

Jensen walked around to see what his colleague was doing. He was both intrigued and shocked when he saw what he was looking at. “Spinal epidural?”.

“I need to brush up on it don't I? I've not done one since my stint in anesthesiology. God, I can't believe how rusty I am now that I've read through it”. Jared suddenly realised that he wasn't reassuring his boss. The other man didn't look at all phased however.

“I have every faith in you Dr Padalecki. You're a fast learner. Look, I'm not worried about it, so there's no need for you to be, okay? Just aim for the lower lumbar region, flush first and then boom, you're in” Jensen said completely unphased by the idea of it and instead fully focused on his next fritter.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Okay. You are being very calm about this, I mean too calm about it Jensen. Aren't you worried? I'm not trying to freak you out but....”.

Jensen finished his mouthful and carefully put down his fritter on the desk. “Of course I am! I'm petrified, okay? But I've had like 6 months to prepare myself for this, 6 months where I've handled all of this myself, yeah I'm still damn scared but I need to focus on the baby, the end goal and getting her through the rest of this right now. I think that you just need some more time for things to sink in. You'll get there”.

Alona knocked the door tentatively and pushed it open very slowly and peered into the office. “Morning. Just checking that we are all okay here. The first patient has just rung and said that she's stuck in traffic and will be another 20 minutes, so, you know, continue”. She stayed lurking in the doorway.

“Anything else?” the older physician asked as he sensed that she wasn't done.

“Are you really staying Jared?” the blonde nurse asked the younger man.

Jared laughed and nodded his head. “Yes, I'm definitely staying”.

The nurse literally jumped for joy on the spot. “Okay. Awesome!”.

When she left, Jensen's smile wavered as he turned serious. “God, I can't believe I nearly drove you away. I can't believe you nearly left because of my- stubbornness”.

“Well you didn't, takes more than that to get rid of me Dr Ackles! Just for the record, I didn't really want to leave” Jared said. He smiled as he reached over to the box of fritters and grabbed one.

“Hey! I'm eating for two you know, get your own!” Jensen protested jokingly.

“Exactly, you're eating for two, not for a whole soccer team so you can allow me one fritter!” the younger physician said as he made a point of biting into the fritter and moaning. “Mmmm, so good! Think of the calories I've just saved you!”.

Jensen laughed. “I don't think I need to worry about calories at this stage when I'm carrying a human inside me. Anyway, I've got to get prepped for a C-section, so I'll catch up with you later, okay?”.

“Catch you later. Oh, you have sugar on the corner of your mouth, just- here” Jared said as he went to wipe off the remnants with his finger and then kissed him.

Licking his lips, the pregnant physician returned the kiss. “Did I really have sugar around my mouth, or was that a trick just to steal a kiss from me?”.

Jared smirked and then shrugged his shoulders.

“Thank you” Jensen said.

“For what? The kiss or for wiping the sugar off your mouth?” Jared asked.

“Both”. As Jensen left the office, he had the biggest grin on his face.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jared opened his eyes and checked the time of his alarm clock on the night stand. The alarm wasn't due to go off for twenty minutes or so yet but the sun was streaming in through the window and had roused him from his sleep. He smiled and reached out to find his boyfriend next to him. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around feeling the swell. He felt content knowing that Jensen wouldn't freak out this time. It had been a week since he had found out the truth and although he was still getting his head around everything it had brought them closer together. He was as determined as ever to make sure that Jensen and the baby got through this.

“Morning” the pregnant physician said as he put his hand on top of the other mans and wrapped them around himself tighter causing his t-shirt to ride up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Jared asked in a whisper even though they were both awake.

“No, I've been awake for a while now. When the baby is awake I'm awake too and she's a very early riser” Jensen replied as he turned around to face his lover. “She's going to be a trouble maker for sure”.

Jared felt something push against his hand. It was only subtle but he could feel it. “I still can't believe that you did this. You really are the best fertility expert ever! I knew you were good, but what you've done is exceptional, this is revolutionary and can literally change people's lives”.

Sighing, Jensen sat himself up in bed. “Let's not get too ahead of ourselves Jared. I've only got to 27 weeks, she needs a bit longer in there before we can deliver her and we've got to hope that the pouch will hold firm and then there's the risky delivery. There's too many uncertainties yet”. He still had some reservations and was as yet reluctant to buy anything for the baby until he was closer to term where he knew the baby would be out of the danger zone and more able to survive in the outside world. His hand rubbed around his stomach in circles as he felt the baby move around.

“Come on, we've got you under constant monitoring, she has two OB/GYN's watching out for her and I can get her out within minutes should I need to. I assisted Dr Neyland with a spinal the other day so I'm confident with that now too”. Jared still felt anxious about the whole thing but he was trying his best to reassure his lover.

“Yeah, I know, I'm just being silly, it's fine. Seeing as we're awake, I may as well get up and shower so we can get into the clinic a little earlier this morning. My blood test results should be ready by now from yesterday, see where we're at”. Jensen heaved himself up and sat on the edge of the bed as he got his breath back. “Oof!”.

“Alright?” Jared asked as he was instantly on his feet and next to the other man ready to assist.

Jensen nodded his head. “Yeah, everything is a bit more of an effort these days, it just takes me a little bit longer to do things that's all. She's still quite high up and pushing up on my diaphragm so its no wonder I'm a little short of breath. I just need a second, that's all”.

Jared held out an arm.

Grabbing hold of the muscly forearm in front of him, grateful for the assistance, Jensen eased himself up from the bed. “Thank you”.

“It's what I'm here for. I'll get some breakfast started. I was going to make some wholemeal toast and some eggs? That should set us up until lunchtime at least. It's going to be a busy day. I'll take most of the heavy procedures if you like, you can take the check ups and scans, the easier load”. Jared was trying his hardest to make his boss slow down somewhat with his work load.

Jensen knew what his younger colleague was trying to do but seeing as he was exhausted already and his day hadn't began yet he wasn't going to turn down the offer. “Okay, that sounds good, thank you so much”.

“Anyway, I'll leave you to it. Give me a shout if you need help with anything else” Jared said as he headed downstairs to get the breakfast started.

The pregnant physician sat on the edge of the bed and closed his eyes for a moment as he felt the baby move around, something that he was still in awe about. A particularly hard kick to his side made him get to his feet. “Okay, I'm up, let's go”. 

 

Jensen was looking through his patient's notes and smiled. “Okay so you had a positive pregnancy test with me 2 weeks ago, so we know that it's worked this time. I just need to do a scan to confirm that it's still viable and to date the pregnancy”.

“I've come this far before but miscarried before I had a scan so I'm really nervous about today” the anxious woman admitted.

“I understand. The fact that you've told me that you've been feeling very nauseous is actually a good thing believe it or not. Although unpleasant for you they are signs of a healthy pregnancy. Let's just take a look, okay?” the physician said as he ushered to the examining couch.

The nervous woman exhaled as she laid back on the table and pulled up her blouse.

Jensen sat down on the chair and tried to adjust his position to ease the pain in his back. He had ordered a chair with a back to it so he hoped that that would help somewhat with his discomfort. Forgetting his own predicament, he grabbed the probe and concentrated on the task in hand. He almost breathed a sigh of relief when he saw what he wanted on the screen and tried really hard to hold back a wide grin when he had an unexpected surprise.

“Is there a baby there? Please tell me there is. I don't know if I can take anymore heartbreak”.

“There's definitely a baby in there Mrs Henderson. You've actually taken up the buy one get one free offer. There's two babies in here. Twins” the physician said excitedly. This was one of his favourite parts of the job.

“Twins? Are you- really?” the woman asked in disbelief as she looked at the screen.

Jensen zoomed in with the roller ball and froze the screen so that his patient could see two distinct separate dots on the screen. “There's one baby and the other black outline next to it is the other baby, two separate sacs. That's why we tend to implant 2 or 3 embryo's in the hope that at least 1 takes. In your case we've got 2 out of 2. Congratulations”.

“Wow. Does everything look okay?”.

“Obviously it's still very early at this stage as you're only just over 6 weeks. But if we can get you to 12 weeks then the chances of miscarriage reduces significantly. I want to see you again in a month for a re-scan. But in the meantime, you just need to take things easy and you've got my number if you have any concerns. I'll print you out some pictures so you can take it in, okay?”. Jensen winced as he got up from his chair.

“Are you okay Dr Ackles?” the elated patient asked her physician.

“I'm fine thank you. Years of perching on these ridiculous chairs catching up with me that's all” Jensen said as he pressed print on the screen and tore off the pictures for his patient. He remembered doing the egg extraction and the implantation on his patient so had already been through the roller coaster of emotions with her so it was always nice to reap the rewards. As he bid farewell to his patient, Alona came in to help him prepare the room for their next patient. “Alona? Is the next patient here yet?”.

“Not yet. It's still early though” the blonde nurse said as she pulled out sterile packs from one of the cupboards.

“Great. Can we have a chat for a few minutes then please?” the senior physician requested as he sat down on the chair by the desk grateful for a moment of respite from standing or slouching over on a stool.

Alona looked a little taken back. “Er, yeah, sure. What's up? Do I need to sit down or something?”. That's when she realised how tired her boss looked. His tiredness seemed to be stepping up a notch and he always seemed to be in pain or discomfort these days so she figured that Jensen was about to open up to her about it.

“When did you do your advanced life support training last?” the physician asked the nurse.

“Oh, um, about six months ago I think, why? Do you have any training issues with me?” the blonde answered becoming more and more curious.

“No, not at all. So you're confident in getting a line in someone stat in a medical emergency then?” Jensen asked, not giving anything more away in the tone of his voice.

“Yes, that's part of my job” Alona said simply.

“How about assisting in a complicated emergency C-section?” Jensen probed further.

Alona wondered where this was going. She just shook her head. “Well, no, not really because I don't get involved in that side of things, the OR nurses deal with that, it's not in my job description”.

“Yes, of course. Jared has a list of C-sections tomorrow afternoon if you would like to assist him? Add another string to your bow? I can handle the floor here tomorrow, it will be good for you, good experience” the pregnant man said as his hand circled a spot on his stomach.

“Really? Yeah, okay, that's great, thank you so much. Just, one thing though, you're not getting rid of me are you?” Alona checked as she opened up a box and pulled out what she needed.

Jensen adjusted his position in the chair and smiled at his best nurse. “Absolutely not. I most definitely need you, I don't know what I'd do without you”. He couldn't be more sincere in what he said, if only she knew the truth. “I'm going to get a drink, I'll be back in a bit”.

“Okay no worries. Jensen?” Alona called to her boss before he left the room completely. “Are you sure that you're okay? I mean I know that you have medical stuff going on and I won't pry into that anymore I swear, but I just want to know that you're okay”.

Smoothing down his scrub top and pulling his white coat around him as much as possible he smiled. “I will be”.


	13. Chapter 13

Jensen had been in his office at the end of the day finishing off some paperwork when somewhere down the line he had fallen asleep with his head on the desk when Jared walked in to find him.

 

Jared gentle put his arm around his sleeping lover and gently roused him from his sleep. “Jensen? I think it's time to go home!”.

 

Waking up suddenly, Jensen prised the piece of paper from the side of his face and cleared his throat. “Oh crap, did I really fall asleep?”.

 

“Yeah, I guess so” the younger physician chuckled. “You can finish that off in the morning, I think that you've done more than enough for today”.

 

“Yes, okay. I'm certainly not going to argue with that”. Jensen got to his feet and removed his white coat and hung it up on the back of the door and shrugged on a sweater instead and frowned when it just about stretched over him. “Now I know how my women feel when they tell me that they are putting on weight and that they need to keep buying new clothes! It's getting rather annoying now!”.

 

Jared tried not to laugh and turned his conversation to a different topic. “So, apparently Alona is assisting me tomorrow afternoon on the C-sections. You have recommended that she gains a new experience. She also said you had asked her if she was up on her advanced life support training. She thought it was a little odd that's all. But she can't know that I've mentioned this to you because I promised her. So what's going on here?”.

 

Jensen sighed and rolled his eyes. “You can't quite do this yourself, I mean, when the time comes. You're going to need a nurse to assist you and I trust Alona. I want her there too, she's an excellent and very competent nurse and I've worked with her for a few years now”.

 

“Maybe you should tell her the truth? So that you can give her time to prepare for it. She expressed her concern about you too, she's worried about you” Jared said sullenly.

 

“I-can't. I already took a risk in telling you. I can't risk anyone else knowing just yet. I'm trying to prepare her for it as best as I can without giving anything away. I can't imagine that she wouldn't be but you never know, she might not be as understanding as you've been. Plus I need to do damage limitation here”. Jensen gathered up his briefcase and put some papers away in his drawer before locking it up.

 

Jared rubbed his hand over his face in defeat. “You really do have everything all planned out don't you!”.

 

“Ha, I wouldn't go that far. Do you want to come back to mine tonight and we'll order take out? I'm too tired to cook as you've probably already gathered”. Jensen grabbed his car keys from his briefcase.

 

“Sounds good to me”. Jared winced in sympathy as he watched his boyfriend brace his hand up against his back which was obviously acting up. “I'll see you there, I just need to get some things from my office”.

 

Jensen stopped in his tracks and put a hand on the other man to stop him from leaving and wrapped his arms around him and kissed him on the lips.

 

“What's that for?” Jared asked when their kiss broke up. “Not that I'm complaining!”.

 

“Just a thank you for being you. For what you're doing for me. And-I love you. I know that I've not actually said it to you properly yet but I do”. The older man brushed the other physician's hair back behind his ear, reveling in how soft and wavy it was.

 

Jared grinned like a loon. “I love you too”. He put his hand on Jensen's stomach and caressed it lovingly. “Let's get out of here”.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Anything to hand over?” Jensen asked Dr Gray, one of the other doctors that helped cover out of hours.

 

“Nope, didn't have much in last night at all. Just a few false alarms, pretty quiet night”. Dr Gray said as he handed back over the pager.

 

“Great”. The pregnant physician took too big a bite from his burrito and quickly reached for a tissue to wipe his mouth with. It was undignified but he didn't care because the burrito was just too damn good.

 

“Well, it was nice to see you again Dr Ackles, it's been a while. You're looking, well, very well I guess. I'll see you again soon I'm sure”. The other physician noted the weight gain that the renowned physician had put on since he had seen him last a month ago. He didn't want to bring up the issue. “Enjoy your burrito”.

 

Jensen frowned and looked down on himself in disgust. It was getting harder to hide his condition despite his best efforts. He was getting more and more paranoid that he would be found out any day now. Shaking off his silly notions, he went into the briefing room before the morning's briefing so that he could go through the mail. There was one letter that he was curious about so he opened that one first. His heart nearly sank when he read the contents. Usually this wouldn't have been a problem but given his current circumstances and condition, this was not what he wanted right now being under such scrutiny. He was mid freak out when Jared walked in.

 

Jared could tell that something wasn't right. “What's up?”.

 

“The medical board is coming to do it's 2 yearly inspection in 2 weeks time” Jensen said non-nonchalantly now that the initial shock had sunk in.

 

“And? They just need to check that we are adhering to the rules and following the regulations and guidelines. Surely you've been through this before? We've got nothing to hide!” the younger physician said.

 

Jensen got to his feet and put his hands on his stomach to emphasize it. “We've got a lot to hide Jared. They are going to want to go through the books and patient files! Plus I'm going to be at 30 weeks when they come around and the way I'm gaining weight......”.

 

“Jensen, the experiment is in no way traceable and if they happen to go through your file it's under a fictitious patient, there's no way they are going to know what's going on. How can they? And you are forgetting something here. You managed to hide your condition from me all that time and I'm a qualified OB/GYN. It's just a routine inspection to make sure you're not breaking any rules or doing anything unethical- well, okay, besides, you know, you. They've just got to come and have a little look around so that they can tick their check boxes. Just relax, okay?”. Jared tried to placate his boyfriend.

 

“You're right as always, you're right”. Jensen was usually calm and unflappable but since he became pregnant he was fiercely protective of his baby and had a heightened urge to protect her. “Everything is above board, it will be fine. I've altered some other figures in my patient's notes to account for the hormones that I've been taking. If they ask, I can just say that's why my successes are slightly higher than average because of the higher doses I give my patients. It will be okay, right?”.

 

“It will be. Now let's get you checked over. Our first patient's aren't due for another half an hour so let's get you scanned”. The younger man was still un-phased by the whole thing.

 

The baby kicked, which somewhat reassured the pregnant man and went some way into placating him. “Yeah, I want to check on her growth and run a few extra blood tests, check for anaemia as I've been a little tired recently, more than usual. I know that being tired is part of it, but not like this”.

 

Jared went over to the other man and carefully looked at his eyes, gently pulling down the bottom of his eyelid and checking inside of his mouth. “Hhm, they are a little pale. Maybe. But I'm your physician now, remember? So let me look after you, okay?”.

 

“Yes boss” Jensen mocked jokingly. “Ooh, she's kicking really hard now. I still can't believe that this is real”.

 

Putting his hand over the swell, the other man nodded his head in agreement. “Neither can I”.

 

 

 

“Ow!” Jensen flinched when the needle went into his arm.

 

“That didn't hurt, don't be so silly! Don't be a baby. It's just a small prick, you've been through a lot worse. That should tide you over for a bit. I don't want to give you too much B-12 and Iron in one go so we'll do another blood test in a week. I think that we've caught the anaemia early so it's easily reversible”. He saw Jensen struggle to sit up so he offered his arm. “Need a hand?”.

 

“Yes please”. The pregnant physician said as he pulled himself up from the examining couch groaning as he did so. “I'm probably not going to be pregnant for too much longer, but I really admire these woman that go to term and longer. I almost feel guilty for what I do to them!”.

 

Jared laughed. “You're only helping to give them what they want. And I'm sorry to say but we are going to keep you pregnant for as long as we can. Things are looking really good here, it's only another month until you get to 32 weeks. I think we should aim for 33 or 34 weeks at least. You know as well as I do that the longer she stays in, the better her prospects of survival outside the womb”.

 

“I know. But part of me thinks that I can look after her better if she's out, I can give her the best neo-natal care possible. I feel that every day that she's in here I'm pushing my luck more and more”. Jensen pulled the sleeve back down on his scrub top and reached for his trademark white coat.

 

“But you're the expert on keeping babies inside and getting them to term. So we'll do the same for her”. Jared put his hand on the swell and pressed very gently. “See? She's not going anywhere for a while. Okay?”.

 

Jensen nodded his head and smiled. “You're right again! I'm just, I don't know, I'm sorry, this is not like me, freaking out about every little thing. I think I'm just turning into an irrational crazy baby momma or dadda or something. Oh my God I really am turning into my crazy patients who worry about every niggle and pain.....”.

 

“I think that it's cute to be honest with you”. Jared tickled his boyfriend's side playfully.

 

“Don't think I've ever been called cute before”. The senior physician giggled at the tickling sensation. “Stop it! You're getting the baby all riled up and now I have to pee, so are you all done with me Dr Padalecki?”.

 

“Clean bill of health”. As the other man scurried away, Jared looked at the print out of the scan and traced the outlines of the baby's perfect face in awe before filing it away.

 

 

The new incubator had been delivered amongst other boxes of supplies and had been piled up in Jensen's office until they had time to put everything away. The pregnant physician had been rushing around and due to his altered centre of gravity and the fact that he was finding it harder to see his feet, he didn’t see the box until it was too late and his foot caught the edge of it and he fell down to the ground landing straight onto his stomach. He was too stunned to do anything for the first 10 seconds or so, then his hands went straight to around his stomach and then suddenly the pain registered with him.

 

Grabbing onto the edge of the table, he heaved himself up and managed to stand up. “God….no..” he moaned as he clutched onto his stomach. He lifted up his scrubs where there was a bruise rapidly forming where he had fallen. He can't believe that after everything that he had achieved he had tripped over a damn box and put the baby in jeopardy. The baby, who until moments ago had been moving around constantly, had suddenly gone still. He had to find Jared, now. He managed to stand up straight and open the door to his office and make it to the corridor. Luckily, Jared was stood at the front desk and he was alone. “J….Jared…” he tried to say, his voice sounding as weak as he felt. He tried again. “Jared!” he shouted, until the other man looked at him.

 

Jared could see his boss standing awkwardly, trying to stay upright, his face as pale as his white coat. “Jensen?” he shouted as he suddenly threw down the notes onto the desk. He ran over to his boss and ushered him back into the safety of his office. “What’s happening? Speak to me?”.

 

“I fell…tripped over one of the damn boxes” the pregnant man said, trying to control his breathing and breath through the pain.

 

“Okay, okay. Come and lie down for me…let’s take a look” Jared said, trying to stay calm.

 

“29 weeks is too soon. We haven’t started on the steroids yet. God, she’s not moving, I can’t feel her move Jared” Jensen said as he heaved himself up onto the table, the pain making it more unbearable and harder than ever.

 

Jared gasped, when he saw the bruise forming on Jensen’s stomach. “Let’s not panic until we have to. It's probably not that bad. Let’s just take a look first, okay?” Jared said calmly.

 

“How are you so calm? How?” Jensen asked, panic stricken as he tried to focus on any movements from the baby however subtle. “Ow, something really hurts!”.

 

Jared smiled and grabbed Jensen’s hand. “I promised that I’d look after you, get you through this, and I will. Everything is going to be just fine”. No sooner had he said that, he had Jensen prepped for the ultrasound scan. “This may hurt a little, but I need to press here, I'm sorry….”.

 

Jensen winced at the probe on his bruised skin. “Just do it….it’s okay…”.

 

Jared’s face was full of concentration as he located the baby’s heart. He could see that it was beating nice and strong but figured that Jensen would need more reassurance than that, so he turned up the volume and soon the room was filled with the baby’s thud of her heart beating perfectly strong. He smiled when he saw the elation in his boss’ bleary eyes. “See? She’s just fine, maybe a little startled, but she’s okay. I just need to move this up a little higher, I need to check for signs of internal bleeding and see how the pouch is doing”.

 

The pregnant man had zoned out to everything else that was happening, he was just fixated on the sound of his baby’s heartbeat that he had heard a few moments ago. He clutched his side when he felt the baby kick him. “Ooh….she just moved….ow…careful sweetie, daddy is a little bruised, go easy…”.

 

“I can’t see any obvious signs of bleeding or haemorrhage. The pouch and the vessels look intact. No free fluid, spleen also looks intact. Damn those boxes….I’m sorry Jensen, I knew they were there, I was meant to move them for you….I forgot…and I got busy, this is all my fault” Jared said chastising himself.

 

Jensen shook his head. “No it’s not. It’s mine. My centre of gravity is off and I can no longer see my own feet, let alone what’s below them or beside them. It's my fault, I should have been more careful. I'm still trying to rush around and do things like I used to before. Okay” he said as he covered himself back up and slid carefully off the end of the table. “I’ve got an egg extraction in exam one that I need to take care of”.

 

Jared folded his arms across his chest and stood in front of his boss defensively. “No, I don’t think so. You need to go home and rest. You know as well as I do that you’re not out of the woods just yet. There could be delayed bleeding so you’ll need to keep an eye on your vital signs and if there’s any problems, give me a ring. I’ll do the extraction for you. Go home Jensen. And I mean home to rest”.

 

The pregnant physician didn’t argue anymore as he recovered from the shock and scare he had just had. He just nodded his head in defeat. Jared was right. His body needed to recuperate from the trauma. “Fine. I’ll call a cab to take me home. Any problems your end, give me a ring. And I’ll do the same”.

 

“I'll ring you later to see how you're getting on. I'm on-call tonight so I probably won't have a chance to see you but I'll keep my pager and cellphone on me the whole time so just ring me. Check your vitals every hour for the first few hours, then every couple of hours after that and keep an eye on her movements. I mean- of course you know what to do. She'll be fine, your body has been designed to protect her. I love you, okay?” Jared kissed his frightened lover on the lips and helped him get into the waiting cab a few minutes later.

 

The younger man went back to the front desk where Alona was sat. “Jensen’s egg extraction is ready and waiting” the blonde nurse said. “Where is he?”.

 

Jared took the notes off the blonde nurse. “Change of plan, I’m going to take over. Jensen’s been taken ill and has had to go home. Nothing to worry about. Oh…and can you make sure that the boxes in his office are moved out of the way, please? I don’t want anyone to trip over them. I'll then see to Mrs Connoll next and the rest you can handle”.

 

Alona nodded her head. “Yeah, sure! No worries. Is Jensen okay?”.

 

“He's fine. He just needs to take it easy for the rest of today and rest up”. Looking down at the chart in front of him, he headed off to attend to the patient.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The next morning, Jared and Alona were sat at the front desk, when Jensen hobbled down the corridor, hand braced on the side of his stomach, walking very slowly.

 

“Oh my God, Jensen? You look like crap dude, you okay?” Alona asked.

 

Jensen smiled and nodded his head. “Thanks. I was clumsy and fell over yesterday and cracked a couple of ribs. Just a bit bruised and sore that’s all. But everything is okay” he said, directing his words straight at the younger man. “Alona? Can you go and get me today’s charts please?” he asked, trying to get rid of the blonde nurse so he could speak to Jared in private.

 

“I wasn’t expecting you back today? I told you to take another day off! Are you sure you’re okay?” Jared asked, in a hurried whisper. “I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to come and see you last night, I had a busy shift and was in most of the night. I didn't even make it home in the end”.

 

“It's fine, I slept most of the day and all through the night for a change. My vitals have all been fine, blood pressure, heart rate, mine and the baby's. I was in early this morning, I couldn't find you, I figured you were busy with a patient so I did a quick scan myself and there were no signs of internal bleeding. Baby is moving around as normal. I'm lucky, I'm just a little bruised. So I’m going to take it easy today, just do the routine follow ups, initial consultations, nothing too heavy handed like procedures, if you don’t mind doing them for me” Jensen said. “I don't think it will instill confidence in my patients if they have a physician wincing every time he moves or reaches for something”. He moaned softly as he went to pick up a pile of notes as if to emphasize his point.

 

“Of course, God, yeah. Please just- take it easy. Have you taken anything for the pain?”. When the other man looked at him as if he had two heads, Jared rolled his eyes. “It's not going to do any harm. It's going to ease the pain for you and make for a happier baby”.

 

“I can manage. No drugs”. He looked down at the notes in his hand. “Janice please” the senior physician called out to his patient.

 

 

As there was a mound of paperwork to catch up on, Jensen had lunch at his desk as per usual. Jared had been called upstairs to assist with a forceps delivery.

 

Alona knocked on the door and waited for her boss to answer before she entered. She walked over to the desk and put down a glass of water and two tablets.

 

“What's this?” Jensen asked curiously.

 

“Okay, so Jared sent me in here. He said I've got to make sure that you take these but that you'll be stubborn as hell about it and probably refuse to take them but he wants you to take them anyway. It's just Tylenol, I'm not sure why you'd be stubborn about taking them but hey. I cracked some ribs a few years ago, wrestling with my brother and it was painful as hell and I was taking more than just a couple of Tylenol”. She could sense the apprehension from her boss so she gently pushed the tablets closer to him. “Whatever is actually going on here, if Jared wants you to take these then I think that you probably should”.

 

“Tylenol, right?” Jensen said as he reached out for the glass of water and picked up one of the tablets.

 

“Tylenol” Alona affirmed as she watch her boss swallow down the tablets and smiled. “There, that wasn't too bad now was it?”.

 

“No”. Jensen had been struggling with the pain all day but he had dug his heels in about taking pain killers. If it were one of his patients then he certainly would have advised them to take something despite the small risk. “Thank you Alona. Tell Jared he can do his dirty work himself next time”.

 

Alona laughed. “He means well. You mean the world to him I can tell that much”.

 

Jensen just smiled. “I know”.

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

He hadn't realised he had fallen asleep until there was a buzz on the intercom to his apartment which woke him up. He got up from the couch slowly as he held onto his side. He was still a tad sore, but the pain killers had numbed the pain somewhat so it was slightly bearable now and the baby seemed to have thanked him for it. “Come on up” he said when he realised that it was Jared. Opening the door slightly he wandered over to the kitchen to get a glass of cold water when the other man appeared holding a huge bunch of flowers.

 

“Oh, sorry, did I wake you?”. Jared noticed the bleary eyes and the ruffled hair.

 

“No, it's fine honestly. I shouldn't have fallen asleep. If I sleep anymore then I might struggle to sleep tonight. Actually, probably not. Anyway, I wasn't expecting you sorry, I've not even thought about food yet” Jensen said as he opened up the fridge to see what he had inside. He screwed his nose up at the lack of anything remotely edible.

 

Jared put the flowers down on the countertop. “I didn't come here to have you cook food for us. I've come here to tell you that I'm moving in with you”. When he realised how forward that sounded he re-phrased it. It had sounded better in his head. “Wait, what I meant was I think that we should live together, at least for the time being so that I can look after you better and care for you. We spend several nights a week together anyway. I mean I would suggest that you moved in with me but I figured that would be too much upheaval for you and you would probably prefer to stay in your own apartment. I know this might be too soon for us and may be difficult because it's hard working and living and with the same person....”.

 

“Okay. It makes sense I guess. I think half your stuff is in my wardrobe anyway. Er, make yourself at home then......roomie” the older man said smiling. It was something that he had been considering himself.

 

“Wow, I thought that it would take a lot more than that to convince you to be honest”. Jared chuckled to himself. “I just want to keep a closer eye on you and make sure you take things easy and rest up more. I mean, you're going to have to quit work soon”.

 

Jensen's smile wavered. “I'm not going to gain anything in giving up work completely. I mean I'm better off being in work because when the time comes to deliver her it's going to be in the clinic anyway and that's where all the equipment is. I can slow down on the heavy duty stuff but I need to stay in work”.

 

“Damn it, that actually makes sense. Okay, well I'll start moving some more stuff in tomorrow then, just a few things that's all” the younger man said. “I thought you'd say no, so I'm not prepared here!”.

 

“Why did you think I'd say no? It's a great idea. You can move in as much stuff as you want. There's plenty of room here” Jensen said as he waved his hand around his apartment as if to prove a point.

 

“I didn't want to intrude too much on you, it's only going to be for a few weeks until the baby is born-”. Jared ceased talking as he hesitated over his next words. “We'll see how we go, take it one day at a time. Because I want to make it work, I was serious when I said that I was serious about you, about us”.

 

Jensen exhaled as he tried to compose himself. He was blaming a sudden surge of hormones for his emotions that were rapidly building up causing him to tear up. “I want it to work too”.

 

Jared could sense the other man's outburst but instead of calling him on it, he just put his arms around him and pulled him close into a hug, mindful of his injury. “I'm guessing you've not eaten yet this evening so I'll order takeout?”.

 

The pregnant man just sniffed and nodded his head. “I think I'm going to like living with you”.

 

“Me too” Jared replied as he kissed his boyfriend on the lips.

 

 

 

Jared had got home before his boyfriend and had dinner on the stove as the other man let himself in and flopped down on the couch moaning as he did so.

 

“Something smells good, I knew there was a plus side on having a domesticated roomie, who by the way is super hot too!” Jensen said as he stuffed a cushion behind his aching back.

 

“Back still playing up?” the younger physician asked sympathetically as he put a lid on the saucepan and went over to his suffering boyfriend. He frowned when he saw how swollen his ankles were too. “You need to get your feet up, have you seen how swollen they are? You must have known that”.

 

Jensen shrugged his shoulders. “I-I didn't. I can barely see my feet these days”. He swung his legs over on the couch so that his feet were elevated. “I'm certainly getting every text book symptom that's for sure. It's quite endearing and reassuring actually, in a very, very roundabout way”.

 

“I don't think I've had anyone describe it that way to me before” Jared laughed. “Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes if you're hungry”.

 

Laughing, the pregnant man sat himself up. “Of course I'm hungry I'm over 7 and a half months pregnant. Haven't we already said this pregnancy is text book? Speaking of textbook, let me go pee first, again and I'll be back”.

 

Jared held out his arm to assist the other man. “I know you can do it yourself, but why struggle?”.

 

“Yeah, okay thank you”. Jensen went off to take care of business.

 

As he was clearing the table ready for dinner, Jared noticed a baby catalog under a pile of other papers. He quickly flicked through and noticed that there were some items with a ring around them, a crib, a changing table, a chest of drawers. He smiled and then frowned when he realised that he hadn't seen a single baby thing in the apartment what-so-ever.

 

“Mmm, I'm really hungry now-” Jensen paused when he saw Jared with the catalog in his hands.

 

“I'm sorry, I was just tidying up, I didn't mean to pry. Have you- ordered anything yet then? We could go together to the store to choose something if you like”. Jared surveyed the other man's face for a reaction. “Or not- it was just a thought”.

 

Jensen sighed. “So what's for dinner then?” he said ignoring the offer. When Jared didn't answer and looked put out he sighed again and rubbed his eyes with his hand. “”It's still a bit too soon that's all. I'm not ready for all the stuff yet. I want to give her a couple more weeks before I start ordering things in. But, when I'm ready, I want you with me, I want your help in choosing the perfect things for her”.

 

Jared just nodded. He could understand his boyfriend's dilemma and wanted to support him in whatever way he wanted him to. “Fine. Beef stew okay for you?”.

 

“Oh yeah!” the pregnant physician said as he rubbed his stomach.

 

 

The day of the inspection was here and Jensen had insisted on getting to the office earlier than usual that morning to ensure last minute preparations were in place. They had kept their workload lighter than usual and were only seeing emergency patients or urgent appointments only so that they could focus on the inspection and be at the inspector's disposal to assist with anything they needed.

 

Jensen was on tenterhooks the entire time even though he knew that they had covered their tracks and not left a paper trail with regards to anything about him or the baby. He had all of his files and journal locked up in a place that there wouldn't be a reason to look in. He had even put on a pair of scrubs that were a size bigger than he needed so that it would be baggier than usual to cover up his condition further. He had answered every question that had needed answering and given them free reign to his clinic to look at every protocol and procedure that he had in place. This was a crucial visit as he already had a highly recommended and highly commended clinic and didn't want to lose his status as one of the best in the state.

 

Jared was trying his best to calm his boss down without drawing too much attention to them.

 

The visit had only lasted a few hours, but it felt like an agonizingly long time for both physician's involved. Alona was confused at both physician's apprehension over this especially as her boss was ice cool and unflappable at all times so it was strange seeing him flip out over this.

 

The inspector was satisfied that everything was above aboard and shook hands with both physician's when he was done. He noticed how uncomfortable the senior physician looked and smiled. “Relax Dr Ackles. You run an excellent practice and although you need to wait for my official report in the next week or so, I see no reason why you won't keep your status as a 5 star practice. Your record keeping is meticulous and your facilities here are state of the art. It's faultless. Keep up the good work and we shall see you again in 2 years”.

 

Once the inspector had left the building, Jensen almost collapsed down in a heap on his chair in his office and started breathing in and out slowly.

 

Jared grabbed his wrist and took his pulse and shook his head. “Your pulse is racing. You've gotten yourself worked up about this way too much. I told you that everything would go okay”.

 

“Yeah I know”. Before Jensen knew what was happening, Jared had strapped a blood pressure cuff around his arm. “What are you doing?”.

 

“I'm getting you checked out. We've not got anyone booked for the rest of the day so I'm going to do another scan on you, check that you've recovered from your fall and check how things are looking. Yep, blood pressure is raised like I thought!”. Jared pointed to the examining couch.

 

“I probably could have told you that. I'm guessing her growth is pretty good too given the size of me. I swear my women aren't this big for this stage” Jensen moaned as he took off his white coat and lifted up his scrub top and lay down on the all too familiar examining couch.

 

Jared measured the expanse of his stomach. “You're actually measuring just right for 30 weeks believe it or not. You probably feel a lot bigger than you are”.

 

Rolling his eyes, Jensen flinched at the cold gel. It wasn't something that he was getting used to. “I think she's altered her position and turned head down. It feels different. I don't think she knows that that's not going to help her here”.

 

Starting with the probe low down on the pregnant man's stomach, Jared affirmed Jensen's suspicions. “Yup, her head is right down here. Let me just grab a measurement of the circumference. I don't think that we can take any credit here at all because she is thriving and growing herself just as she should. She's starting to look a little squashed in there now though”.

 

Jensen smiled as he watched his baby on the screen. “Yeah, her movements are getting less and less, but trust me, she still lets me know that she's in there. Between 3am and 4am especially for some reason!”.

 

“Yeah I noticed” Jared said as he moved the probe higher to check the pouch.

 

“Oh, I'm so sorry if I keep you awake too” Jensen said feeling guilty.

 

“That's not what I meant. It's fine. Besides, we've got to used to sleepless nights once she's here. Just keep quiet and still so I can do a doppler through the pouch”. As Jared studied the blood flow a thought came to him. “Looks great”. He adjusted the position of the probe and took a tracing of the heart, leaving the sound emanate through the room. As they both watched the screen at the baby, he broke the silence once more. “What are we going to tell people after she's born? What are we going to tell them when we suddenly have a baby with us?”.

 

Jensen's face paled as he thought about that. His eyes never left the screen for a second. “I- I never thought about that. I never thought things would get this far so I never thought about that part of it. We could tell people that we've been wanting to adopt and a newborn baby got abandoned and they asked us if we wanted her”.

 

“That makes sense. But genetically she's half yours. Your name is going to have to go down on the birth certificate and seeing as she's going to need a birth certificate, that might not work out and would still leave some awkward questions” Jared said diplomatically.

 

“Okay, then we say that I wanted a baby and I used a surrogate and a donor egg. That's a lot closer to the truth, right? We'll work something out, that's a long way off yet”. Jensen was too transfixed by watching his daughter wriggle around on the screen in front of him as was Jared so neither heard the door open until they heard the gasp.

 

Alona was stood in the doorway in complete shock and disbelief at what she saw- or what she thought she saw. She saw the huge expanse of her boss' stomach, Jared in the process of scanning him and the image of a baby on the screen. She was too shocked to move for a few seconds. “What- what's going on? I-Oh God!”. The blonde backed out of the room slowly at first, then started to run.

 

Jared threw down the probe and got to his feet. “Oh crap, I thought I had locked the door. Fuck, I'm so sorry Jensen!”.

 

Jensen managed to sit himself up quite quickly considering his condition. He wiped the gel off his stomach and pulled his scrub top back down. “Let me, I'll go. Just-stay here, okay?”.

 

“Jensen? Just don't get yourself too worked up, please. Just stay calm” Jared warned.

 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the pregnant man sighed and went in pursuit of the blonde nurse. He managed to track her down to the nurses station where she was typing frantically on the computer. “Alona? Can we please talk about this? Now?”. He pulled his white coat around him, not that it was doing much good.

 

“Mrs Wilson just rang. She needs to reschedule her appointment so I'm just slotting her in for Friday. Is that okay?”. She flicked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was torn between concentrating on the computer screen and glancing at her boss so she could confirm what she had just seen.

 

“Yes, that's fine. I really think that we need to talk about this, what you saw in there!”. The baby was kicking up a storm so he put his hand on his stomach and rubbed it in circles. It didn't go un-noticed by the nurse.

 

“You always told me to knock first. I usually do, but seeing as you didn't have any patients booked, I didn't think that it was a problem. I- don't know what I saw. It can't be, it's not possible”. Alona studied her boss and saw the outline of his stomach and saw the way he had his hand over it protectively. Her interest peaked again. She thought back to over the past few weeks and months and suddenly everything made sense, but still, it just wasn't possible, wasn't physically possible.

 

“I didn't want you to find out like this I swear. I was going to tell you properly because I need your help too. But this is top secret, no one else knows other than Jared and he's only known for a few weeks. I need to sit down and explain this to you properly” Jensen pleaded with his colleague.

 

Alona tapped her fingers on the desk and grabbed her bag from underneath it. “You, need my help? Seriously? Fuck!”. She got to her feet and traced the outline of the other man's stomach with her eyes and she freaked out again. “There's no one else due in so I'm going to leave early. I- need to go”.

 

Jensen just nodded and didn't put up any fight as he knew she was stubborn and it would be futile.

 

Jared caught the blonde nurse as she rushed out and stopped her for a second. “Alona? Just think about this for a second, please don't do anything drastic. Please, it's Jensen”.

 

“Just let her go Jared”. The heavily pregnant physician sat down on one of the empty chairs in the waiting room.

 

Jared joined his boyfriend and slumped down solemnly. “What do you think she'll do? Why did you let her go like that?”.

 

“She'll come round. I've known her a long time- longer than I've known you and I trust her. We've just got to give her time. Remember how you freaked out when you found out? And I broke it to you gently, well as gently as I could anyway. So just give her some time to digest everything. I've just got some paperwork to do and then we may as well go home too while we can. It's been a bit of a stressful day”. Jensen was worn out, emotionally and physically and the strain was showing.

 

Nodding his head, the other man agreed. “Okay, I've got some paperwork too so I'll catch up with you in a bit. Everything's going to be okay”. He pulled his boyfriend close and kissed him on the lips before they went into their respective offices.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys, I've not neglected you. Just been super busy that's all. Although I've not replied (so sorry) I've read all your comments so thank you so much. I promise to respond to them all, comments are love :-). Enjoy x.x

“Oh man, why have we never had Pizza from this place before? It's so damn good” Jensen said as he polished off his third slice. “Are you sure that you don't want a slice or are you happy with your rabbit food salad?”.

 

Jared laughed. “I'm doing fine with my salad thank you. If you get killer heartburn later from all that pepperoni don't blame me!”.

 

They were both trying to forget about the afternoon's turn of events and just had to hope and pray that Alona would do the right thing.

 

The intercom buzzed and Jared looked at Jensen quizzically.

 

Jensen shrugged his shoulders. “I'm not expecting anyone”. He wiped his hand on a napkin and frowned when he looked down at his t-shirt which was struggling to cover his stomach. He wasn't expecting visitors and had put on his most comfortable clothes even it they didn't quite fit him.

 

“I'll get it” Jared said as he pressed the entry button on the intercom. He opened the door to find Alona stood outside looking nervous and unsure of herself. “Hi”. He willed himself to stay calm.

 

“Oh Jared. I wasn't expecting to see you here.....wait, of course you're here. Why wouldn't you be? Is Jensen in?” the blonde asked. “I mean, it's his apartment so he should be!”.

 

“In here” Jensen shouted out. He stayed sitting at the table and watched as Jared stood to one side to let her through. He could see her eyeing him up again suspiciously. He tried in vain to stretch his t-shirt down, feeling exposed and vulnerable.

 

Alona exhaled loudly. “So, I've been doing some thinking and I want to talk. I've been walking around for hours, different things going around in my head. This is real, isn't it. It's not a joke?”.

 

Jensen cleared his throat. “It's not a joke and definitely real. Very real”. He resisted the temptation to placate his daughter after she kicked him hard.

 

“How-how many weeks are you? God, I can't believe I've just asked you that!”. Alona shook her head in disbelief as she looked towards Jared too almost willing some sort of candid camera to appear so that this situation would at least make a little more sense.

 

Getting to his feet slowly, the pregnant man kept his distance but wandered over to one of the cupboards and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a glass. “Just over 30. Whiskey? I think you need it. Obviously I can't drink, but knock yourself out. It's the good stuff too”.

 

The blonde nodded vigorously and grabbed the bottle and poured herself a large glass and knocked it back in one, finding relief from the burn in her throat.

 

Jared grabbed his keys from the table. “I think that you're running out of that ice-cream you like so I'll run out and get another tub”. He figured that it would work better if he made himself scarce so he conjured up an excuse to leave them to it for 20 minutes. As he passed Alona he whispered in her ear. “Go easy on him and don't get him worked up too much. I need his blood pressure stable, if not for him, for the baby, okay?”.

 

When Jared was out the door and she had composed herself again, Alona started pacing with a fresh glass of whiskey in her hand. “So, I kinda need to know how”.

 

Jensen didn't want to go into too much detail so he kept things simple for now. “I cultivated an artificial uterus and implanted an embryo into it and have been taking a crap load of hormones. It took and thrived and here I am. I'm probably not going to make it to term due to the viability of the pouch, but I'm hoping to give her a few more weeks in there before delivery. Jared is going to deliver her, but he can't do it alone. I need your help too. I wanted to tell you, not like this though”.

 

“You're having a girl?” Alona asked, perking up and curiosity increasing exponentially. “Man you're going to be so screwed!”.

 

“Yeah, I am. I make babies and help deliver them but I know nothing about raising them, especially girls- that's why I not only need your help in delivering her, but I need her to have a cool Aunt, someone she can go to and look up to when I mess up”. Jensen inched closer to his colleague and friend. “The baby needs you and so do I”.

 

Alona started to choke up and began to cry. “Oh God, I'm here for you, both of you. I'm not going anywhere, okay! I just wish you had told me sooner you silly thing”.

 

Jensen exhaled slowly. “Please, please don't cry because you are going to set me off and I have ridiculous amounts of hormones running around my body right now”.

 

Sniffing and wiping her tears, the blonde nodded her head and laughed. “I always knew you were a girl at heart”. She thought back to some of their conversations recently. “You sneaky thing- that's why you sent me on the extra training sessions and got me to assist on C-sections. It was for you, it was all in preparation for you”.

 

“Yeah, guilty as charged. I don't want to bring this down, but I'm not out of the woods yet. This is going to be dangerous for me and the baby and this is all being done without FDA knowledge or approval”. Jensen paused when a thought struck him. “Oh God- you've not, you've gone to the FDA about this yet have you?”.

 

Alona shook her head. “No. I'd never do that to you. I figured that this wasn't something that you wanted to get out just yet anyway”.

 

“I knew I could trust you on that. And I trust you and Jared to get me and the baby through this. You're not only my friend but one of the best nurses in the clinic”. Jensen felt overwhelmed again at the thought of the perils of his condition after saying it out loud and felt himself start to well up with tears, mirroring his prized nurse.

 

“Oh no- don't cry, please don't cry” Alona took hold of her boss' hand and held it tight. “Okay, I'm going to look after you and use every skill that I've learnt from you to get you through this. Crap, this is going to be dangerous, right?”.

 

The front door to the apartment opened and Jared peered in sheepishly. “I forgot my wallet. Sorry”. He assessed the situation in front of him and relaxed when he saw them embracing.

 

“Jared? Come on, you don't really need to get ice cream, or not right now at least. Just come here will you?”. Alona knew that Jared wanted to give them space and she respected that.

 

Jared closed the door and put down his keys.

 

“Okay, I'm on board with this. Jared? Let me know what you want me to do to prepare for this. We're all having a baby!” Alona pulled the two men into her and hugged them both tightly.

 

Jensen squealed. “Hey, you're squashing the pregnant guy here! That can't be good for the baby”.

 

Alona let go abruptly. “Crap, sorry” she apologised. “So, no more secrets, no more sneaking around. Anything else that I need to know whilst we are on the day of revelations?”.

 

The older man looked at Jared and smiled. “Jared has moved in with me, temporarily to start with and see how we go, but he's going to be keeping a closer eye on me”.

 

“That figures”. Alona noticed the half eaten food on the table. “Oh, sorry, I disturbed your dinner. I'll leave you to it”.

 

“Not even I can eat two huge pizzas by myself and you've seen the way I eat these days. Jared's on the healthy stuff, so please, help me out otherwise I'll have to have leftover pizza for breakfast, which you know, isn't a bad thing but is not the most nutritiously balanced breakfast and my new OB/GYN would probably have something to say about that!”. Jensen sat back down at the table and helped himself to another slice of pizza and ushered to the empty seat.

 

“Well, I'm doing you a favour, right? And it looks and smells delicious”. Alona sat down and grabbed a slice, pausing before taking a bite. “So, do I get a pay rise then?” she joked.

 

Jensen picked up a slice of pepperoni and threw it at the blonde nurse. “Don't push your luck!”.

 

Jared laughed. “Yeah, that's a great idea, I'm thinking 10% each, right Alona?”.

 

Alona laughed. “I was thinking we go in at 15% and haggle from there!” she joked.

 

“Okay, so now I'm being ganged up on!” Jensen said amusedly but then turned serious. “Thank you both. I couldn't have a better team on board looking after me. She's a very lucky girl”. He caressed his belly.

 

“You'd do the same for either of us, right?” Jared said as he smiled back at his boyfriend.

 

Jensen nodded his head and took another slice of pizza.

 

“Hey? You just stole some pepperoni off my slice!” Alona said as she waved her slice around.

 

“I'm the one who's pregnant so I get dibs on it!” Jensen laughed.

 

“Are you going to use that excuse for everything over the next few weeks?” the blonde nurse asked jokingly.

 

The pregnant physician just smirked back.

 

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Jensen called his next patient in from the waiting room.

 

Mrs Johnson waddled into the examination room looking all hot and bothered. She was fanning herself with a magazine.

 

“Afternoon, how are you doing?” Jensen asked his patient.

 

“I'm hot! I mean, really hot! If this weather gets any warmer I'm not sure how much more I'm going to take. This baby is literally turning me into an oven! Up on the couch?”.

 

“Yes please” Jensen said as he mopped his brow with his hand, also feeling the effects of the heat and humidity. He smiled as he went through his patient's notes. He had done the implantation on her on the same day that he had done his own so their pregnancies matched exactly to the day and had followed her up ever since, almost sharing every symptom with her ironically. “Any concerns since your last appointment?”.

 

“Other than getting fat? My ankles have been getting swollen by the end of the day and my legs ache. Is that normal?” the pregnant woman asked as she pushed her top up and pants down a little.

 

Jensen rubbed at his own aching legs for a second. “Yes it is I'm afraid. Just try and stay off your feet as much as possible, sit down when you can and get your feet elevated. You're in the home stretch now though”.

 

“Still 9 weeks left though. I start my maternity leave in 4 weeks, I can't wait! I've got so much to get ready for him, the nursery is no-where near done yet!”.

 

“You've still got a while to go to sort all of that out, not to worry. Just try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy for now and take things easy. I know that you feel like you've got lots to do and that you want to get everything ready in time, that's just the nesting instinct kicking in but it will all get done just relax” Jensen said reassuringly. He felt around on his patient's stomach and winced in sympathy as she winced, understanding how intrusive and uncomfortable it is. “Okay, at the moment he is head down. Obviously that can change, but hopefully not. I'll see you again in 3 weeks and check his position again”.

 

Alona knocked on the door and handed her boss a piece of paper and a glass of water. She had dutifully noted that he had not drank anything this morning yet.

 

Jensen smiled. “Thank you Alona”. As the nurse left, he looked down at the urine analysis test for his patient. Realising how hot and thirsty he was, he took a few sips of the water in front of him. Since Alona had found out the truth, she had been attentive to his every need and was fussing over him. It's like she was in competition with Jared.

 

Mrs Johnson sat up and looked worried. “Everything okay?”.

 

Turning into professional mode, Jensen made eye contact with his patient. “There's some protein in your urine, not too high but more than just a trace, which could be a sign of pre-eclampsia. Obviously if you have pre-eclamsia then that's not going to be good for you or the baby. Your blood pressure doesn't indicate that just yet, but to air on the side of caution, I want to keep you in for tonight at least just to monitor you”.

 

“Oh God. I've read up about this. This is serious stuff, right?”. The pregnant woman began to freak out.

 

Jensen put his hand on his patient's arm. “Rose? This is just a precaution I promise you. You are not symptomatic for it yet, it could just be an anomaly in your urine. We'll keep you in today and tonight, do another test in the morning and it may be normal again and you get some R&R at the same time which is only going to benefit you and the baby. I'm not worried, so you shouldn't be either, okay?”.

 

“Okay. R&R. I can do that. I just need to ring my husband to get him to bring in my hospital bag from home. Dr Ackles?” the woman asked as she looked at her physician.

 

“Yes?”. Jensen looked up from his notes as he was scribbling something in them.

 

Mrs Johnson studied the man in front of him and felt a connection to him that she couldn't explain. “Thank you. I mean, thank you for everything, for your support and advice. It's like you're literally going through this with me, how you just understand, the level of empathy, how you keep so calm and reassure me. Thank you so much”.

 

Jensen blushed at the sentiment and then flinched as the baby kicked him hard. “I'm just doing my job, that's all”.

 

“Ooh, ow, that was a really big kick”. The pregnant woman said, rubbing her belly.

 

“Yeah” the physician agreed as he tried to placate his daugther. When he saw the woman stare at him intensely, he dropped his hands down by his side. “Let's get you upstairs and settled on the assessment unit and you can ring your husband from there”. He rang through to the nurses station to summon Alona. “Can you please take Mrs Johnson upstairs, we're just going to keep an eye on her for a little while”.

 

Alona smiled at the woman. “Are you ready sweetie? We've got a great room upstairs for you, view of the beach, cable TV. Think of it as a mini vacation. I'll catch you up in a minute”. When the pregnant woman had left the room, she turned her attention to her boss. “You should be on your third glass of water now and you haven't even finished your first. Practice what you preach”.

 

Jensen rolled his eyes and downed the rest of the water just to prove a point. “I thought Jared was over protective but you are chief mother hen right now!”.

 

“Next patient is in 20 minutes, so put your feet up, literally, and get some more water on board. I'll know!” the blonde nurse said before rushing out to catch up with the other woman.

 

“Yeah, I know you will”. The pregnant physician shook his head and headed over to his desk to sit down to finish up his paperwork.

 

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	16. Chapter 16

 

Jensen was tucked up in bed, fast asleep, when his cell phone and pager started to ring simultaneously. Glancing at his clock on the night stand, he checked the time. 5:12a.m. He was confused as to why he was being paged seeing as Jared was on call and at the clinic. Picking up his cell nonetheless, he returned the call and was surprised to hear Jared's voice at the other end of the phone. “Jared?” he groaned as he tried to sit up.

 

“Jensen, I'm sorry to page you. I'm so sorry to wake you, I know that you need your sleep.....” the panicked physician's voice echoed over the other end of the phone.

 

“Jared? It's fine. I'm used to being disturbed and I can't really sleep much at the moment anyway. Is everything okay?” the pregnant physician asked as he tried to stifle a yawn.

 

“It's your patient, Maria Golaz. She's in labour, fully dilated, baby is showing signs of distress but she's freaking out, she won't push and she's asking for you for some reason. I wouldn't usually ask for you to come in...” Jared faltered, but the anxiety in his voice was still apparent.

 

“It's fine, I'm up now and I'll be there in 15 minutes. Just try and keep her calm and monitor the baby closely for signs of D-cells”. Jensen hung up the phone and grabbed a pair of scrubs from the back of the chair and put them on. He tried to go down the stairs as fast as he could but at nearly 8 months pregnant that was no easy feat. Luckily the traffic was almost non-existent at that time of morning so he made it to the clinic in record time. On entering the building he followed the sound of the laboring woman down the corridor and into the birthing room. Out of courtesy, he knocked the door and then entered, surveying the situation in front of him.

 

“Where are we at Jared?” Jensen asked coolly.

 

Jared was down by his patient's legs. “She's fully dilated, contractions every minute, baby's heartbeat dipping and showing signs of distress”.

 

Nodding, the senior physician went up to his patient and smiled. “Hey Maria! I hear you're having a baby, right?”.

 

The laboring woman panted through another contraction. “I'm not ready. I can't. I can't do this. Why did I think I could do all of this by myself”.

 

Jensen took hold of the woman's hand to try and keep her calm as he could sense that she was beginning to hyperventilate. “Sure you can. You've waited all this time for him. 3 rounds of IVF, 9 months you've carried him. You've chosen the name, Benjamin, right, but you're going to call him Benji for short? You've done the nursery up, you showed me the pictures of the animals and woodland theme on the walls. Everything is all planned out, you are more than ready for him to come. You don't need anyone else because you have total control of the situation. And now he's ready to come out and he needs you to push”.

 

“I'm scared. Scared that I'm going to mess this up because I've waited so long for him and now he's nearly here-ah!” the pregnant woman shouted as another contraction took hold of her. “I can't do this myself”.

 

Jared looked up at the screen and then to his boss with a worried look on his face. “Jensen? D-cells”.

 

Jensen sighed and removed his jacket. He clambered up onto the bed behind his patient grunting as he did so, hands braced up against the underside of his belly to help him maneuver.

 

“Be careful Jensen, take it easy” Jared warned.

 

“I'm fine Jared. Okay, Maria, I'm here. I'm right behind you, you are not going to be doing this alone. Come on, when you feel the next contraction I want you to push as hard as you can. Just concentrate on pushing and breathing gently, put all your energy into that. Jared is going to deliver him, but I'm right here behind you, you are not alone. Lean back into me, I've got you. He needs you to push, because his heart rate is slowing down and he's ready to meet you, he needs to come out now” Jensen said kindly but firmly. He smiled when he felt the woman bear down. “Okay, another one like that” he said when he saw Jared nod encouragingly.

 

“Is he-okay?” the pregnant woman asked in between contractions.

 

“His head is nearly out, you just need a few more pushes like that then he'll be out. There's another contraction building so give us another big push” Jared said as he helped guide out the head.

 

Jensen squeezed his patient's hand reassuringly. “You are doing so well, I'm proud of you. Nearly there” he said as he felt her body go tense again with the effort of pushing. She then relaxed as the baby was born.

 

Jared tended to the baby quickly and efficiently as he cleared out his nose and mouth and gently rubbed him to get him to cry. When he started to emit a shrill cry he smiled and looked up at Jensen and mouthed a 'thank you'.

 

The pregnant physician smiled back at his colleague and nodded his head. He eased himself out of the bed and held out his arms to get Jared to pass him the baby. He expertly wrapped up the newborn in a blanket and handed him over to his mother. “He's perfect and gorgeous Maria. And he's all yours. You've done the hard part now, you can enjoy him now and take him home. You're ready to be a mom, more than ready”.

 

The new mother began to cry tears of happiness as she held her son in her arms and began to cradle him. “I'm sorry Benji, I'm sorry for thinking that I couldn't do it. Thank you so much Dr Ackles, thank you Dr Padalecki. I'm sorry that I nearly bailed out on you guys and freaked out, but thank you”.

 

As Jared helped deliver the placenta, Jensen caressed the newborn's face and smiled. “It's okay to get scared. But now he's in your arms, well, you'll know exactly what to do. I'll leave you with Jared and I'll ring upstairs and get you booked onto the post labour ward. We'll keep you both in for today at least, then we'll check on you both later on this afternoon and see if we can get you home”.

 

Before the senior physician left, Jared mouthed another 'Thank you'. “You were awesome in there as always. Why don't you head back home to bed for a bit?”.

 

Jensen checked his watch. “There's not much point really. I'll pop over the road to the diner and get us some breakfast to go”.

 

When Jared had finished up, he caught up with his boss 20 minutes later in his office, half eaten breakfast burrito on his desk, deep in thought.

 

“Jensen? What's up?” Jared asked as he grabbed the coffee from the holder on the desk.

 

“Nothing. It's just Maria. She had everything planned. The name, the nursery, the woodland theme in the nursery, she thought it all out. I haven't. I'm not prepared for this, I've not got anything ready because I've been too scared that I'd lose her if I had things ready for her. I'm 32 weeks now and she's nearly ready and I'm not. I've got to where I wanted to get to, got to where I never thought that I would. So I want the woodland theme, I want the nursery with the woodland animals and I want her to have a name. She deserves that. But I'm still scared, scared that even though I've got this far I'm going to lose her” Jensen admitted freely.

 

Jared sighed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “You can plan. You can prepare and we'll do up one of the rooms as a nursery with a woodland theme if that's what you want. You've got it all chosen in that brochure. We'll start you on the steroids next week to start maturing her lungs, the pouch is still holding firm and she's perfectly happy where she is right now. You're going to surpass your goal. But, if we need to deliver her anytime soon then she's going to make it. I promise you that I will do anything and everything in my power to get her out safe and with Alona on our side too, we couldn't ask for anything better. So you can make plans. Please, order the crib. You were amazing in there with Maria, telling her not to be scared, and now I'm telling you not to be scared”.

 

Jensen laughed. “Okay. What do you think about owls? I think owls would look good in a nursery, right? She'll like it” he said as he put his hands on his stomach. “I think I'm ready. Ooh, I think she agrees”. He gestured to the other man to put his hand on where the baby was kicking him.

 

“Owls it is” Jared nodded as he felt the baby move under the palm of his hand. He kissed his boyfriend on the lips.

 

“Hhm. You know that I love you, but dude, you stink. Really stink”. The senior physician laughed.

 

Jared sniffed himself and grimaced. “Yeah, I agree. I guess I better get showered. You have some time to kill and I may have saved some things in the basket online on the baby website, the crib and changing table you like. You just need to go to the checkout”.

 

As Jared went off in pursuit of a shower, Jensen switched the computer on and curiously opened up the internet browser and found the website he wanted. He smiled when he realised that Jared had indeed sneakily added everything he wanted to the online shopping basket. He hovered over the checkout button, reluctant to take the next step. Instead he clicked on the continue shopping button and started to add other things like romper suits, socks, soft furnishings and a long list of other things until the total crept up and up but he didn't care. The more he thought about it the more he got into it and by the time he finally clicked on the checkout button and got out his credit card he was elated and had the biggest smile on his face. A confirmation email pinged up on his email account to acknowledge his order and date of delivery. By the weekend, everything would be here so he had to get the spare bedroom ready by then. This was suddenly becoming very real.

 

“All clean. Just need some more coffee then I think I can probably pass as not looking like I've been up half the night delivering babies” Jared joked. He paused when he saw how happy Jensen looked. “You ordered them didn't you”. He clocked the credit card on the desk next to the computer.

 

Jensen pulled a face. “Yeah. I might have gone a little bit over the top. I think I ordered one of everything in the store. I know I've got a big apartment, but I'm not sure everything is going to fit! How are you at wallpapering?”.

 

“Well, I papered the bedroom in my apartment and it's still on the wall, so not too bad I guess, why?” Jared asked but suspected that he knew the answer.

 

Turning around the computer screen so that the other man could see, Jensen grinned. “Do you think this is too much?”.

 

Jared studied the wallpaper on the screen. It was colourful and had different owls on it. It was perfect. “No, it's not too much. I think it will look great. Perfect, just like she will be”.

 

Jensen smiled. “Thank you. Wow, this just got even more real, I mean I'm having a baby and soon!”.

 

“Yes, we are” Jared amended with a huge grin on his face. Anyway, I'll go and do the ward round before morning briefing. Shower's free if you wanted it”.

 

“Yeah, a cold shower might help to wake me up seeing as I can't pound the caffeine like you”. Getting up from his seat, Jensen put his credit card and wallet away in the drawer.

 

“I'm sorry” Jared apologized. He couldn't imagine what he would be like without his morning coffee.

 

“It's fine, sorry, I didn't mean to sound bitchy about it. Tell Maria I'll go and see her in a bit when I'm more presentable. Wait, Jared? Are you sure that you want to take all of this on? I'm going to be having a baby, are you sure you want to do this? Help me raise her? You didn't exactly sign up to this”. The pregnant physician wanted to kick himself for bringing that up now but he needed to get it off his chest.

 

It didn't phase the younger man at all. “No, I didn't 'sign up' for this, but I'm crazy about you and now I'm crazy about this baby. Plus how many people can say their boyfriend is having a baby? It's incredible and makes me love you more. And I really want to help you raise and nurture a baby. I want to be called daddy and I want the sleepless nights and the diaper changes and I want to watch her grow up and I want to do it with you. So I was correct in what I said. We are having a baby”.

 

The answer couldn't have been any more perfect. Jensen just smiled and snuggled into his boyfriend and held him tight.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jensen adjusted his position on the chair he was perched on. His patient was supine on the examining couch and sterile drapes were wrapped around her. He was all prepped for an egg extraction. “Are you all ready? There's a few here that I can take and they look good”. As he hovered the ultrasound probe over his patient's abdomen he felt the muscles around his stomach contract causing him to wince and catching him completely off guard. “Ooh”.

 

Alona looked worriedly at her boss. “Dr Ackles?”. She monitored her boss continuously these days like he was a ticking time bomb.

 

“I'm fine. Okay Jane, let's get started. I'll start on this side and then I'll move to the other side. I reckon we might be able to get 8 here. That gives us a really good chance for a few embryo's. You'll just feel-ah” Jensen huffed as he felt another tightening in his stomach that he really couldn't ignore now. “Ow-ow”.

 

The blonde nurse was now torn what to do.

 

“Alona? Can you please call in Dr Padalecki?”. When Jensen saw the look of confusion on his nurses' face he shook his head. “I'm fine, could you just go and get him please, quick. I'm sorry, will you excuse me for just a moment?” the pregnant physician said to his patient as he got up from the seat and began pacing the room until Jared came in.

 

“Everything okay?” Jared asked as he surveyed the situation and clocked the look of worry on Alona's face when she had summoned him.

 

Jensen nodded his head as he began removing his sterile gown and gloves. “I need you to take over. I think there's 5 eggs you can take from the right and maybe 3 or 4 from the left. I'll be in my office” he said as he winced again at another tightening in his stomach. It hadn't gone un-noticed by the other physician.

 

Jared looked a tad concerned. “Woah, wait a second, are you okay?” he whispered. “You can't just leave without telling me what's going on. Are you in pain? Jensen?”.

 

“Ow. Just-just finish up here for me please, she's all ready to go, we can't leave her, I'm fine, I'll be in my office” the pregnant man said as he sneaked out through the door as inconspicuous as he could.

 

Alona stopped him before he left and whispered to him. “Do you need me with you? Jared will be fine here by himself, he's got everything he needs”.

 

Jensen's face looked strained. “It's fine. I'm okay honestly, please, I just need to get out of here”.

 

The younger physician had finished the extraction in relatively quick time and the patient was now resting in the recovery room. He had to placate Alona and reassure her that he would take care of it and call her if he needed her. Jared rushed to his boss' office and closed the door behind him, unsure what state he would find his boss in.

 

Jensen was sat down on his examination table, hands wrapped around his heavily swollen stomach which was exposed and hooked up to pads monitoring the baby's heartbeat. He pushed a button when he felt another spasm his abdomen.

 

“Jesus, I've been worried, is everything okay?” Jared asked as he put his arm around his boss. “What's going on?” he asked as he analyzed the chart print out in front of him. “Are you having contractions? These are definite tightenings”. He was both baffled and amazed.

 

“Braxton Hicks would you believe?” Jensen said ecstatically. He had gone from being scared, to elated. “I don't think that the baby has got the memo yet that she can't get out that way. It's quite amazing this is happening. I'm having actual contractions right now, well, Braxton Hicks but still!”.

 

Jared laughed as he hovered his hands over the other man's stomach. “I can't believe that you are getting excited over having contractions. May I feel?”.

 

Jensen nodded his head. “Ooh. Woah, I can't believe that I tell my patients it's not painful because these really hurt. I may have to re-think what I tell them!”.

 

“Oh my God, that went really tight. Oh and I think that's a foot that just kicked me” Jared laughed.

 

“Don't take it personally, she does that to me all the time”. After feeling another Braxton Hicks, Jensen suddenly had a thought. “Ow! Oxytocin”.

 

“What about it?” the younger physician replied as he continued to monitor the chart with the same fascination as his boyfriend but with a little more caution.

 

“That must mean that potentially I could go into labour. If I can have Braxton Hicks then I can have proper contractions which could cause the pouch to contract too much and dislodge”. His excitement turned to concern as he came to the realisation. “Crap. I think we need to start the steroids today, just a small dose. I need to get up and walk around a little, drink some water, that usually makes them stop”. Exhaling loudly as he got off the table, Jensen unhooked himself from the machine and began pacing the room as he got his breathing under control.

 

Jared came to the same conclusion too. “Okay, we'll get you dosed up with steroids and if they don't ease off we'll give you something to stop them, like you said we don't want the pouch to dislodge. But you know that stressing about it only makes it worse so keep calm”.

 

“Yes Doctor!” Jensen watched as his boyfriend drew up a syringe of steroids. He could see Alona's face in the window of the door looking worried so he ushered her in.

 

Alona looked at what Jared was doing. “Can I do anything to help? What's going on? You scared the hell of out me Jensen!”.

 

“It's all under control. Just a few Braxton Hicks contractions. We're going to start the first dose of steroids now”. The pregnant man stopped pacing as the contractions eased.

 

“Oh, is that all? They're relatively painless” Alona said, relaxing when she knew things were alright.

 

“Painless? Are you freaking kidding me? Do these look painless to you?” Jensen scoffed as he winced again at another one.

 

Jared looked at the blonde nurse and mimed to her to leave it.

 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. What do I know, eh? It's not like I've got a uterus or anything! So it's definitely not time yet then? We're okay?” Alona checked.

 

Jensen nodded. “We're okay. I've just checked on a scan and things are looking good. She's staying put for a bit longer so quit fretting”. He realised how abrupt he sounded so he softened the tone of his voice. “Sorry. Thank you for your concern. I don't know what I'd do without the two of you. I've just been used to dealing with all of this myself that's all. I keep forgetting that I've now got a great team behind me”.

 

Alona smiled. “No worries. But now you know why I've been trying to get you to drink, because dehydration can set them off!”.

 

“Yes nurse!” the pregnant physician quipped.

 

“Anyway it looks like you're being well looked after here, so I'll leave you in Jared's capable hands. Obviously I'm a lot more gentle giving shots and I totally wouldn't trust Jared to give one.....” she joked.

 

“Ha ha!” Jared sing songed.

 

“Drink more!” Alona advised before she left them to it.

 

“Right, where do you want it?” Jared asked his patient as he stood poised with the syringe in his hand, wagging his eyebrows.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning for a long chapter as an apology for yet again being crappy at checking my emails and updating :-). I do read all of your lovely comments and appreciate every one of them. enjoy :-).
> 
> Oh and super bitchy! hormonal! grumpy! Jensen too :-)

 

Jensen was scrubbed in the OR for an elective C-section. He had already done a few procedures today and was exhausted. Everything was taking its toll on his body. His stomach was more pronounced and was protruding out after his lunch and felt that it was like a huge beacon today. He tried to tie up the back of the surgical gown as it strained against his belly. Ushering to one of the nurses, he self-consciously asked her to pull the gown harder to get the ties to do up.

 

It had only been a week since his last C-section but he was finding it hard already and he hadn't even started. As he moved over to the operating table and greeted his patient, he found that he couldn't get close enough to his patient to make the incision without bending over awkwardly due the size of his belly. He tried a few times but to no avail. As his employees looked on at him, his embarrassment increased exponentially.

 

“Everything okay Dr Ackles?” one of the OR nurses asked.

Jensen winced at a spasm in his back at trying to maneuver himself into the optimum position. “Can someone please page Dr Padalecki please?”. When he saw the look of confusion on everyone's faces he smiled weakly. “I'm just going to assist on this, I forgot that Dr Padalecki had requested the lead on this one. So can someone please page him?”. As he was explaining to his patient, the reason for the delay, his younger colleague appeared in the scrub room, a look of concern on his face.

 

Jared signalled for his boyfriend to come into the scrub room. When he appeared, he surveyed him for any signs of distress. “Are you okay, you paged me? Apparently I wanted to take the lead on this? On a routine, elective C-section? Something that I have done hundreds of times before unsupervised”. He lowered his tone of voice. “Is the baby okay?”. As time went on and since the Braxton Hicks episode, he had been on high alert.

 

Jensen put his hand on his stomach and then removed it quickly as he didn't want to draw anymore attention to it. He felt like everyone around him knew even though there was no way that they could of. “I'm fine. We're fine. I just- God this embarrassing. I'm too big, I can't get close enough to the operating table to make the incision. I'm too big and pregnant to be operating now. It's been a struggle to do procedures the past few days if I'm being honest. Most surgeons who are pregnant usually have to give up surgery by now at this stage of pregnancy. Besides, I don't think I should be exerting myself like this anymore. Crap. I've got to take it easy from now on haven't I?”.

 

Jared sighed in relief. He had been trying to convince his boyfriend that he needed to slow down with the heavy handed procedures but he was met with resistance and arguments so he was glad that he had come to the realization himself. “Okay, no more procedures for you then”. He started to scrub his hands in the sink.

 

Jensen's face fell. It was only going to be for a few weeks but the thought of not being able to do what he did best was heartbreaking for him but he knew that it was for the best for him and the baby. Looking deflated, he started to remove his gloves and flicked one of them into the trash can. “Well, I'll go down to the clinic then.....”.

 

 

“Wait! There's not a patient due for a while yet, so why don't you stay for this one, assist me. Your last procedure until after you deliver” Jared suggested as he dried his hands on the sterile paper towels.

 

The pregnant physician's face lit up at the prospect. “One last one, for now anyway. Besides, these surgical gowns only come in one size and this barely went around me. I knew I shouldn't have had the double helping of pasta. I've got an added food baby in here too!”.

 

“You still look gorgeous and if we weren't both sterile and about to deliver....er.....” Jared faltered at the name.

 

“Mrs Kenneth” Jensen added.

 

“.....Mrs Kenneth's baby then......well....you know” the younger physician said as he wagged his eyebrows. “I can't even kiss you right now” he said as he waved his hands in the air signalling that they were now sterile.

 

Jensen moaned. “God, sorry Jared but that's about the furthest thing from my mind right now”.

 

“No, I know, besides it's not safe, but I'm just saying that you've never been more beautiful than you are right now. Anyway, let's not keep Mrs Kenneth waiting, because her epidural might start to wear off and we'll have a pissed off anesthesiologist on our hands. I'll see you in there” Jared said as he put his arms through the gown and slipped his gloves on as he disappeared into the OR.

 

Smiling as he reached for a new pair of sterile gloves, Jensen felt a hard kick from his daughter and his smile widened and he knew that everything he was doing right now was for her.

 

 

Jared had done all the heavy handed procedures and left Jensen to do the appointments and routine scans so the couple had barely seen each other at all during the day. When Jared was finally done, he went to find his boss and boyfriend to take him home. He knocked on his office door and was greeted by a 'come in'. He found Jensen stood up with his hands braced up against his back and wincing. “Back?”.

 

“Oh yeah. She's taken a great dislike to me the past couple of days and has been kicking the hell out of me”. As if on cue, the baby kicked him particularly hard which caused his breath to hitch. “Ow!”. Jensen leant forward over his desk and braced his arms up against as he tried to arch his back up to relieve the pressure for a second or two.

 

“Here, let me” Jared said as he went behind his boyfriend and started to rub at the kinks in his back.

 

Jensen elicited a moan at how good it felt. “Oooh, just there! Ah, a little lower” he said as he straightened up his spine. “She's been trying to turn I think. I'm definitely feeling her head down here now” he gestured with his hand. “Not that it makes any difference here...”.

 

“We'll check up on her tomorrow. I think we need to get you home and fed and off to bed. It's been a busy day and too much for you. Alona has made sure that the clinic is light over the next few weeks to give you a bit more of a rest in between patients. It's all been sorted so no arguments!” Jared said when he saw his boss start to protest.

 

“Okay, fine. But can you please rub my back like that again when we get home?” the pregnant man asked.

 

“Of course. Let's go” Jared said as he grabbed both of their briefcases before the other man could get a chance to pick it up.

 

“It's not that heavy Jared!” the pregnant man protested.

 

“That's not the point! It's bulky and awkward to carry.....and you shouldn't be carrying it! End of discussion” the younger physician said. “The only thing you're carrying from now on is the baby, okay?”.

 

Jensen felt another twinge in his back again and he didn't argue. “Fine. Let's go home”.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Jensen checked the calender in his office and ticked off another day. He had well surpassed his target for 32 weeks. He was up to 33 weeks and 3 days now. Every day that she stayed in now was vital for her extra growth and development. Jared had now insisted on scanning him on a daily basis but he wasn't complaining because he got to see his daughter every day. Grabbing the bottle of water that Alona and Jared had insisted that he carry around with him, he headed out to the nurses station.

 

“Your next patient is ready for you in exam 3. She's a new patient, here with her husband. They both seem slightly, er, strange!” Alona smirked as she handed over the notes. “I mean, really weird!”.

 

Jared laughed. “Yeah, they really do! But they specifically requested you, sorry!”.

 

Jensen wasn't in the mood for it today and was feeling really hot and grumpy for some reason. He frowned at the mess on the desk. “Great! Alona? This desk is atrocious, how the hell can you find anything on here? Plus, it's full of crumbs, can you get it cleaned please? Actually disinfect it, it's probably unhygienic and harbouring germs and bugs- seriously it's disgusting and going to make someone sick”.

 

Alona looked at Jared and lowered her voice. “Nesting......”. She had noticed her boss wiping down the tables in the break room and re-organizing his office earlier in a frenzy.

 

“What?” Jensen snapped. “Whatever, just get it cleaned up. I better go and see to my patient then”. Sighing, he put his water and the notes down on the desk and groaned. “Nope, apparently I have to pee first. Again. Because I'm being made to drink about a gallon of water at a time”.

 

“You need to stay hydrated” Jared pointed out. He shut up when he received a death glare in return, something that his pregnant boyfriend had perfected these days.

 

“You need to stay hydrated” Jensen mocked in a child-like voice. “Screw hydration, I don't have time to pee every 10 minutes, I have patients to tend to. Do you know how inconvenient it is?”.

 

Jared looked around the half-full waiting room to see if his boss' attitude was causing a distraction. Luckily no-one was paying any attention. “Jensen? Just go pee will you?”.

 

“Oh yeah, like I don't have any freakin' choice”. The pregnant physician skulked off.

 

Alona huffed. “Jeez, what's wrong with Mr Mom today?”.

 

“Please don't call him that to his face because the mood he's in I think he's likely to kill someone. Crap, he's got a clinic full of scalpels and sharp instruments. God, he's been in a foul mood the past two days. Apparently I put the bread in the toaster the wrong way round this morning would you believe?” Jared laughed.

 

“How can you- I mean there's no right way, is there? He's not going to go to term right, because if he is then we need to get that baby out of him sooner rather than later if he's going to go all Jekyll and Hyde on us!” Alona joked, keeping her voice down low. “Crap, he's coming back, I'd better get this desk cleared. God help you later on, you have to live with him too”.

 

“Yeah, for once, I'm actually glad that I'm on-call tonight and I'm praying there's an influx of women in labour and that I have to sleep here tonight. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but apparently I give off too much heat in bed as well which is pissing him off” the younger physician said.

 

“Too much information Jared!” Alona said as she wrinkled up her nose. When Jared protested she laughed. “Yeah I knew what you meant”. She shot up from her seat and began to sort through the papers on the desk as she saw her boss return.

 

“Exam 3, right?”. The pregnant man grabbed the notes and started to walk off when Jared cleared his throat and signaled to the bottle of water on the desk. “Really? Oh for goodness sake. You can be the one to catheterize me later on then because I can't keep this up”. He reluctantly took hold of the bottle and stormed off.

 

“I think I actually feel sorry for the strange couple now”. Jared tried not to laugh. “Anyway, I'm going to grab my lunch now because I've got an egg extraction in a bit. Catch you later blondie. Just keep your head down low and make sure you are not within striking distance of any scalpels”.

 

“You too!” Alona said back.

 

 

 

Jared was trying in vain to turn his patient's baby but to no avail. He knew that Jensen could do it but given the mood that he had been in today, he was too scared to ask him. When his patient cried out in discomfort as he gave it another shot he knew he had to. They had agreed that the pregnant man wouldn't do any gruelling procedures or scrub up in the OR for the duration of his pregnancy but he needed help. “I'm so sorry, I can't quite turn him. I'm going to have to get Dr Ackles to have a go, he's my senior. Just try and relax there for a few moments”.

 

There was no answer in his office so Jared ventured over to the nurses station to see if Alona knew where he was.

 

Alona pointed towards the bathroom and muttered a 'good luck' to him. She had cleaned and tidied the desk until she could practically see her face in it but it still wasn't good enough apparently and had to do it again.

 

Pushing open the door to the bathroom cautiously, like going into a lion's den, he heard the toilet flush and saw his boyfriend appear from the cubicle. It was too late to back out now.

 

Jensen rolled his eyes as he waddled over to the sink to begin washing his hands. “So I can't even get any peace when I pee now then? Are you checking up on me? Do you want to hold my hand next time?”.

 

“No! Jesus you're being unreasonable. Look- I need your help with a patient. The baby is breech and I'm trying to turn him but I need your help. She's scared out of her wits at the thought of a C-section if we can't get the baby turned, so shout at me all you like, but don't take it out on her when you go in there” Jared grabbed a handful of paper towels and passed them to his boss.

 

Snatching the paper towels, Jensen roughly dried his hands and threw them in the trash. “Fine! Just give me a minute, if I'm allowed that! If you hadn't have already noticed, it takes me longer to do things these days!”.

 

“Exam 2” Jared said simply, not wanting to anger him further and left him to it.

 

The younger physician was back in with his patient and opened the door when there was a knock on it.

 

Jensen appeared and approached the patient, exuding professionalism. “Rebecca? Hi, I'm Dr Ackles” he extended out a hand to the woman and shook her hand. “So Dr Padalecki has tried to turn the baby I understand”.

 

Nodding her head the pregnant woman looked scared as hell. “Yeah. It's agony, I don't know if I can take anymore”. She reached out for her husband's hand.

 

“I know. I can't promise anything, but I'm going to have one go. Let me just get my hands rewashed and I'll be with you”. Jensen went over to the sink and through the rigmarole of washing his hands again, all the while glaring at his colleague.

 

“See? You can be nice when you want to be” Jared whispered, knowing that he could get away with it given present company. He did however eye up the box of scalpels nervously.

 

“Well she's not pissing me off right now like you are! Are you sure that I'm allowed to do this?”. He was annoyed that he hadn't been allowed to do what he does best in a while. Sighing as he dried off his hands again, Jensen tried to put his bad mood to one side. “This might be easier with the two of us”.

 

“Fine, whatever you think is best.......doctor!”. Jared stood there and awaited further instructions.

 

“I just need to feel where we are, sorry”. Jensen felt around on his patient's abdomen. “Baby's butt is right down here which is not where we want it....head is here. Okay. Transverse position”. He put both of his hands on her tummy and leaned right over and exerted himself as he tried to turn the stubborn baby. “Ah. Dr Padalecki? Can I have some assistance please?”. He felt his back twinge at the effort and needed just a second to recuperate from it. He was getting far too pregnant to be doing maneuvers like this now too.

 

“Just be careful” Jared whispered as he saw the strain and discomfort on his boss' face.

 

After rubbing out the kink in his back, the heavily pregnant physician waved his hand in the air. “Okay, I'll take the top end and if you can put your hands down here and we'll move together in an anti-clockwise movement. After 3-1,2,3”.

 

The pregnant woman moaned in discomfort.

 

Jared did as he was told and felt the baby almost flip around under his hand. He looked at his boss and smiled. “You did it”.

 

“We did it” Jensen smiled back. “Rebecca?”. He felt around to confirm. “Head down. You did so well, I'm sorry it wasn't very nice but it means you can deliver naturally now. Seeing as you're at 36 weeks, the chances of baby turning back around are incredibly slim”.

 

“Thank you Dr Ackles” the younger physician said appreciatively.

 

“I'll be in my office if you need me again”. Jensen lingered for a few moments but he couldn't think of anything to say without biting anyone's head off so he left them to it. The way he was feeling right now, the thought that he was gestating evil spawn instead of a baby girl came to the forefront of his mind. He just hoped that for the sake of everyone around him, his foul mood would ebb away soon.

 

 

Jared had been trying to avoid his boss for the rest of the day but after hearing commotion coming from the break room, he ventured in to see what was going on.

 

“Jesus Christ why can't anyone in this place clean up after themselves!” Jensen ranted as he threw mugs and plates into the sink.

 

“What are you doing?” the younger physician asked.

 

“Cleaning up after a bunch of filthy animals apparently. How hard is it? You use it, you clean it and put it away!. There must be a billion germs in some of these mugs. Thank God I can't drink coffee right now because I'd probably get sick from using one of these petri dish mugs!” the pregnant physician began to frantically scrub one of the mugs.

 

“Leave them, I'll do them later. You are meant to be resting between patients” Jared told him, but with some caution given his foul mood.

 

Jensen slammed down the cloth. “Resting between patients? Resting? I'm not even doing anything! I can't operate, I can't do any procedures, I can't do anything, because, oh, I'm either too pregnant or in the bathroom. If you look down the corridor you'll even see where the floor has been worn out from where I've been going back and forth. Everyone is doing everything they can to piss me off right now!”.

 

“We're not deliberately trying to piss you off Jensen. It's only because we care” Jared said as he tried to diffuse the situation. “In fact right now, we are all trying to avoid you!”.

 

The pregnant physician sighed and gave up as he headed out of the room, Jared hot on his heels. “Are you following me? Because you're not doing a very good job of trying to avoid me, are you?”. He just wanted some peace and quiet.

 

Jared followed his boss down the corridor to his office. “No, I mean, look I'm just trying to help and make sure that you are okay”.

 

When they entered the older physician's office Jensen skulked off towards the restroom.

 

“Where are you going?” Jared asked, sighing.

 

Jensen's head peered out from the doorway with a look of pure contempt. “Where do you think I'm going Einstein? The grocery store? This baby apparently thinks my bladder is a soccer ball to kick around” he slammed the door as forcefully as he could for added effect.

 

Jared pressed his fingers up against his temples and sighed loudly as he contemplated what to say next.

 

Jensen came out of the bathroom and groaned when he saw his boyfriend sat on his desk. “Oh please, just give me some peace and quiet and some space, why the hell are you still here? Just leave please, get out!”.

 

“No, I'm not going anywhere. I know you are pissed off right now, tired and grumpy, or whatever, but you can't keep taking it out on everyone like this, okay?” Jared reasoned.

 

Out of the blue, Jensen burst into tears and sobbed hysterically, all of his pent up emotions coming out in a rush. “Please just go away” he sobbed. He didn't want anyone seeing him like this.

 

Ignoring his boyfriend yet again, Jared just moved closer and pulled the weeping man into his arms and hugged him.

 

“Please don't, just go...” Jensen sobbed again but didn't put up anymore resistance and embraced being held.

 

“Yeah, I'm not going to leave you like this. Just let it all out” Jared consoled.

 

When his sobbing had subsided, Jensen sniffed and wiped his eyes on the sleeves of his white coat. “I'm sorry. I'm a mess right now”.

 

Jared wiped a tear from his lover's face and smiled. “It's fine, honestly. You're a walking incubator for female hormones right now and your body isn't used to it, so it's no wonder you're, you know, emotional and hormonal?”. He winced at the last words waiting for the onslaught. To his utter surprise, Jensen laughed.

 

“Yeah. I guess I've only got myself to blame for this. Dammit, I've got a consultation in....20 minutes. I'd better get myself sorted out” Jensen said as he checked the time on his watch.

 

“I'll take care of that one if you like. You are doing so well. It's probably not going to be too much longer and she'll be here soon. I know it's frustrating that you can't work to your full capacity right now. But if you need to scream and shout at someone then do it to me, I'm tough, I can take it” Jared joked.

 

Jensen sat down at his desk and pulled his white coat over the expanse of his stomach as if it added an extra layer of protection for his baby. “I think I'm done, for now anyway. Next time I'll give you some sort of signal to stay out of my way. Ooh, that was one hell of kick. Come and feel”.

 

Jared didn't need to feel as he saw the movement from where he was standing. “She's really strong. She's going to be a fighter because she's going to be stubborn and headstrong like her father”. He cursed as his pager went off. “They need me in the OR. Do you want me to send in Alona or are you okay?”.

 

“I really do just want to be left alone. I'll catch up with you later”. Jensen watched his colleague leave as he went to turn on his computer to check his emails. As the computer turned on, it froze which brought back his anger and foul mood with a vengeance.

 ---------

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to once again apologize in the delay of posting. You can blame my RL, laptop breakdowns, internet breakdowns etc etc but here it is. Next few chapters are ready to go so hopefully I'll post the next one in the next week or so :-). As always I appreciate all your patience and your support and wonderful comments. hugs to you all :-)

Jensen wandered into the spare bedroom sheepishly as his boyfriend was putting up the last of the nursery furniture. The wallpaper was already up and looked fantastic. “So, I've been an grade A ass the past few days. I'm sorry. I'm getting so uncomfortable you wouldn't believe, but that doesn't excuse my appalling behaviour. It all looks amazing, thank you so much”. He rubbed at his aching back. “Can I start unpacking these boxes and put things away in the drawers?”.

Jared nodded “Sure. Let me lift the boxes up onto the bed for you so you're not bending too much. I know you can do it yourself, but I don't want you over exerting”. He was shouted at this morning for 'taking over' and 'being over bearing'.

After unpacking everything and meticulously folding and re-folding baby clothes and putting everything away, Jensen flopped down on the chair tiredly and watched as Jared put the last screw in the crib before turning it the right way up. “So, I'm hoping it's going to hold up. I've put up a few flat packs before, so fingers crossed”.

“It will. I have every faith in you. Wow, she's actually got somewhere to sleep now”. Jensen moved around in the chair as a twinge of pain shot through his back. “I'm beat, I've got to get to bed”. He held out his hand for assistance. “I- won't shout at you for helping me up this time I swear”.

After helping his boyfriend to his feet, Jared kissed him goodnight, pulling away from the kiss quickly.

Jensen laughed. “I'm not going to bite your head off Jared”.

Smiling, Jared leaned in for another kiss, this time more prolonged and deeper. “Goodnight. I'll join you in a bit once I've tidied up in here”. 

Taking one last look at the completed nursery, Jensen felt his baby girl move and suddenly everything became really real again. “Goodnight”.

 

“34 weeks and 2 days. That's an incredible achievement. I think she's gained a good amount of weight in the last week alone. I'll give you one more shot of steroids and that's it because her lungs should be mature enough now. This has gone past a medical miracle now” Jared marvelled as he moved the probe around. “What do you make of this?”. He pointed out a spot on the scan near the top of the attachment of the pouch to the bowel.

Jensen studied the screen. “I think maybe it's starting to thin. It's bound to I guess, you think of the pressure and strain that it's under. It should be fine”. He was being very blasé about it.

Jared looked more concerned. “I think we should probably schedule the C-section for the end of the week. I don't want to leave this too much longer Jensen. If that gets any thinner it could rupture. The sooner the better, I'm thinking in the next couple of days, the more I look at it and think about it!”.

“Woah, no way. I've got a full patient workload this week, so no can do. I'll just take things easier, clear my schedule for next week and do it then”. Jensen wiped the gel off his stomach and got down from the examining table, clearly done with the examination. “It's just one more week that's all! Maybe 6 days”.

“I don't think you've got that time left. I'd rather get her out now whilst the pouch is still intact. Please, just think about this. We can get someone to come in and cover your workload, I'll put in extra hours, double up, whatever it takes, but please, think about this” Jared pleaded. “This has already gone so much further than it should have done”.

“I'll think about it. I've got a consultation now and I can't keep them waiting”. Jensen slipped on his white coat and headed out the door. Once he was outside the office he exhaled slowly and put his hand on his huge stomach. He felt the nerves kick in about the reality of his situation right now. Jared was right of course but he was scared and not prepared just yet. He willed the pouch to cling on and willed his daughter to stay put just for a few more days until he was truly ready. He had been preparing for this day for a long time, but now it was here, he suddenly wasn't.

 

“Friday? Friday evening, that will give you the weekend to recover here” Jared suggested as he tried to come to a compromise.

Alona nodded her head in agreement. “Perfect!”.

Jensen felt like he was being ganged up on. “No!”.

“Why are you being so stubborn about this” Jared pleaded. “You're pushing your luck here, I mean really pushing your luck and on borrowed time”. The scan this morning had shown that the pouch had thinned further over the past 48 hours and was nearing near critical levels.

The phone rang at the nurses station and the senior physician grabbed it quickly so that he could avoid the conversation for a few moments. After wrapping up the phone conversation he found himself being stared at by two pairs of eyes. “Stare all you want, it's not going to work, the answer is no! I've got a scan to do”.

The senior physician was scanning his patient when he encountered a problem. It was a 20 week scan of twins. Unfortunately one of the twins was significantly bigger than the other one and as he scanned the blood vessels he found that there was Twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome going on. It was something that he needed to fix sooner rather than later. He hadn't done any surgery for 2 weeks because of his advanced condition. Cursing himself inwardly, he smiled reassuringly and comforted her as he explained what he needed to do. He was her only hope as there were a limited amount of surgeons in the vicinity that were qualified to do the procedure.

Jensen excused himself and went to find Alona who was filing some notes away and chatting to Jared who had just finished with his patient. “Can you book an OR for me for tomorrow please? An afternoon slot?”.

Jared's heart skipped a beat. “For you, right? I'm glad that you've come around”.

“No, for my patient” the senior physician stated simply as he quickly made a phonecall upstairs to secure a bed for the pregnant woman.

The other physician was confused. They had agreed that Jensen would not be operating until after the baby was born. When the other man had finished on the phone he ushered him to one side. “What are you doing? You know that you shouldn't be operating. I can do it for you, or we get someone else in to do it. This has got to stop, stop side stepping here, you've got to think about your own- baby” he said checking around him to make sure that no-one could hear.

“She's developed TTTS. I've got to laser the extra blood vessels off before one or both of her babies die. Are you qualified to perform that procedure?” Jensen asked even though he knew the answer.

“You know that I'm not! Is there no-one else that you can ask to do it?” Jared pleaded.

Shaking his head, Jensen rubbed his stomach. “No. I'm the only qualified physician to do this in the city. I'd have to get someone to fly in and that could take a couple of days and that's if they are available. I'm available and more than qualified to do the procedure. She doesn't have a couple of days!”.

Jared's patience was wearing thin in trying to get his boyfriend to agree with him. “You might not either!”.

“My baby is fine right now. She can hang on, Miss Joseph's twins can't. It's happening, I'm doing it, tomorrow. You can either assist me with it and learn something new, or skulk around down here, your choice! Excuse me, I need to go and explain the procedure to her in more detail and get her to consent”. Jensen didn't want to wait for a response from the other man so he started to head off back into the examining room but Jared stopped him.

“Dammit Jensen. That's why you're one of the best. You literally always put your patients first. Of course I'll assist you tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'll be able to do because I've never seen one before, but I'll be there to support you. And although I'm not happy about it, if you think you can hang on for a few more days then I've got to trust you, right?” Jared said defeatedly.

Jensen smiled weakly and put his hand on his stomach and almost willed the pouch to hold firm for a little while longer, trying to convince himself that he was doing the right thing.

 

Jensen was lying in bed and staring at the alarm clock on the night stand, listening to the sound of Jared's breathing, almost jealous that he was managing to sleep. His mind was full of worry and anxiety over his decision to wait. He knew that in the back of his mind, the viability and sustainability of the pouch had now reached near critical levels. He had come so far in all of this. He could feel his baby move inside of him, his hand was pressed up against her hand, only a layer of skin separating the two of them. As he tried to close his eyes again and tune into her movements, another vision of the pouch detaching came into the forefront of his mind and blood, lots and lots of blood- his eyes shooting open again as he shuffled closer to Jared to try and find comfort and solace. 

He must have been restless, because the next thing he knew, Jared moaned softly. “You okay?”.

Jensen was caught off guard. “Yeah, I'm fine” he lied. “Go back to sleep”.

Jared knew that his boyfriend wasn't 'fine' as he had sensed his restlessness and unease all night but he knew not to probe. He sighed and closed his eyes again to try and sleep, but he couldn't. He was now tuned into his boyfriend's movements and breathing patterns more than ever now he knew the time was imminent. He wanted to be the first to know when things were about to change. He tuned into the steady tick of his watch, counting the seconds and minutes, hoping that Jensen could hang on with it.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

The next day, after Jared had read up on the procedure and both physician's had had a substantial lunch they were ready. The procedure wasn't going to take too long, but given Jensen's penchant for feeling faint lately, he had insisted that they both keep their strength up.

Jared was already scrubbed up and ready to go but Jensen was still struggling with his scrub gown. The OR nurse was having difficulty in trying to tie up the back of the surgical gown and was debating about whether to get another one to cover up the back.

“Just pull it tighter, it should do up”. The pregnant man looked down on himself and the huge expanse of his middle. Without his loose scrubs and white coat, there was nothing to hide behind so he felt like he was truly on show once again. No one had questioned him on it, only whispers behind his back concerning his health and weight gain. When he felt the ties on the back had been done up, he put his mask on over his face and felt warm and restrictive already before he had even started. “Table down in the air please!” he shouted out. The baby was wriggling around but he had to control the urge to put his hands on his stomach and further draw attention to himself.

Jensen had started the procedure standing over his patient but found that he couldn't get close enough to the operating table because he was too big. He tried several different ways like last time, but it was just pulling on his back and causing him too much discomfort and he was now at the most important and pivotal part of the operation so it wouldn't do. “Can someone get me a damn chair or something please and a glass of really cold water with a straw. Stat!”. He could feel the sweat pooling on his body.

Jared could sense his boss' tension. “What can I do Dr Ackles?”. When they were working with each other in the professional sense, they always addressed each other using their professional names as a sign of respect for each other.

“Just- hold the instruments here until I get myself sorted. This is going to be the delicate bit now, I need to locate the best vessel to sever. I can't get this wrong. I just need a minute”. Jensen nodded his thanks when someone brought over some water and he sipped down half the glass of water through the straw. He signaled for someone to push the chair in behind him and he sat down and brought it closer. Although he still couldn't get as close as he wanted, he had to make do.

Following his superior's instructions carefully, Jared watched in awe as Jensen expertly located and lasered one of the blood vessels with minimum blood loss and scanned the patient to check on the babies. He smiled when he analysed the chart readings from both babies and found that they had tolerated the procedure well. Obviously they weren't out of the woods yet, but the initial signs were excellent. “Wow, you've done it”.

“Okay, I'm done!” the senior physician announced as he got to his feet. “Can someone untie me please, now!”. The restrictive feeling was increasing exponentially the longer he was in it. “She needs vital signs done every 20 minutes for the next 5 hours. I'll be back to check on her in a little bit”.

Once he was undone at the back, he pulled the mask down off his face and breathed in a few deep breaths, relishing in the fresh air. He left his employees to finish up for him.

“Is everything okay with Dr Ackles? He hasn't been up here for a little while. Has he been sick or something? He doesn't look too great” one of the OR nurses observed.

“Dr Ackles is fine thank you. He's just been swamped recently and under a lot of stress, but he'll be back up here really soon”. When Jared caught up with his boyfriend a few minutes later, he found him slumped on one of the chairs in the waiting room outside the OR briefing the woman's partner who then went to go and see her. “You are a trooper”.

“Not bad seeing as I'm about to have a baby. God, everything literally hurts right now. Do you mind if I go home to take a nap? Huh, I feel like a toddler having to take afternoon naps”. The string on his scrub pants were a little tight so he fiddled around with it to loosen it, giving him slight comfort. He would need to wear the next size up again tomorrow.

“I think you've earned it Dr Ackles. You've once again just kicked ass and saved a few lives in there! I'll go and check on her and I'll personally keep an eye on those babies for the rest of the afternoon, okay?”. When Jared could predict what his boss would say next he put his hand on his hand. “And yes, if anything changes, I'll page you straight away to come back in. “Now go home and sleep and put your feet up. And no messing around in the nursery because I'll know, I've left things in there in a certain way so I'll know if you've been re-arranging things in there again”.

The heavily pregnant man heaved himself up from the chair. “You could be an OB/GYN you know, you give good advice!”. He joked.

“Nuh, I don't think I'd be very good at it!” Jared joked back. “Seriously, go home before I drag you there myself”.

“Mmm, there's a thought! If I wasn't carrying something the size of a small elephant inside of me then I'd take you up on that offer! But as it is, I'm going home alone to bed in the middle of the afternoon!”. Jensen grimaced in discomfort. He wasn't sure what was hurting him the most right now.

Jared tried not to laugh. “I'll see you later. I'll get some food on the way home so don't worry about that”. He kissed his boyfriend on the lips and watched him walk away, it was almost painful to watch. He still had the dread in the pit of his stomach about whether the pouch would last until Jensen, for whatever reason, was ready. He just had to hope.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter before the action...... :-)

Jensen had been awake most of the night with niggling pains in his back yet again, along with nightmares about the pouch bleeding out. He was done with being pregnant and wanted it over but he had continued to ignore Jared and then Alona's medical advice and refused to agree to a scheduled C-section. It was now Friday and Jared had a point and insisted that not only was it safer for him and the baby to schedule it, but they could do it after the clinic had closed and the core staff had gone home. This meant they could carry it out in secret in the OR plus it would give him the weekend to recover and they could get another clinic to cover any deliveries. He was still being stubborn in holding out for just a few more days, to give her an even better chance. This had caused some tension between them and they had argued again over it last night when Jared had got home. But now he had come to a decision. As if on cue, a pain shot his back telling him that he was making the right decision. 

Jared was scheduled for a C-section upstairs, so the heavily pregnant physician wandered up to go and see him beforehand. As he got out of the elevator, he winced at a tightening in his belly from a Braxton Hicks contraction. He hadn't had any for a long while. He found his colleague in the scrub room ready to wash his hands before scrubbing up.

Jared was shocked to see Jensen walked through the door. “Hey. What's up?”.

“I just wanted to see you that's all. Tomorrow. Let's do it tomorrow. I can make it. I've far superseded expectations on this. I'll wrap things up with the clinic today and get someone to cover any patients over the weekend, so first thing tomorrow morning we'll do it, I'm not nil by mouth, far from it, so I'll starve from midnight. I don't want to fight anymore and I want this over. She's ready to come out. She's strong enough and I'm ready”. Jensen winced again at a pain that went from his back to his front.

“You okay?” Jared asked worriedly.

Jensen peered through the glass into the OR to find his colleagues prepping the patient. He lowered his voice. “Yeah, she just caught me off guard with a kick. She's pretty strong, like I said. She's my little fighter. Ow, but it's definitely time for her to come out before she kicks her way out”.

Jared wasn't keen on the idea of waiting any longer but his boyfriend was stubborn as hell so he didn't have much choice. “Okay. Tomorrow morning, first thing. I'll get everything that we need all prepared after I've done this. Do you want to watch, seeing as you can't get involved in it?”.

“I think yesterday finished me off in here, I just need to have this baby! Besides, I have a patient due now so I'll see you for lunch”. Jensen gritted his teeth at another pain. Luckily, the other physician had started to scrub up so was preoccupied and didn't notice.

By the time he got downstairs, Jensen had started to sweat from the exertion and added pain. He didn't have time to dwell on it as he was being summoned by Alona.

“I know you were meant to have Ms Torell next, but I've slotted Mrs Sanders in before her, she's just a quick check up”. Alona sorted through the pile of notes and pulled out the correct ones. As she handed them over she realised how pale her boss looked. “Jensen? You don't look so good. Do you need to take a break? You don't look very well, are you in pain?”.

“Nope, I'm good, send her in, I just need to grab a glass of water and I'm good to go” he said unconvincingly. Clutching his side, Jensen went off in pursuit of some water. He had got through his patients as quick as he was able to and was just tying up a few loose ends before the weekend, when he clasped his hand over his stomach as he felt it tighten again momentarily. The baby then kicked him hard. He got to his feet and started to pace around his office. Usually when she started kicking up a storm, him walking around would placate her. The last lot of Braxton Hicks he had, walking around had helped. “Woah, please go easy on daddy sweetie. It's just a little while longer”.

He sat down on his chair at his desk and tried to concentrate on his paper work and finalizing some charts and patient notes. When he felt another tightening he looked at the clock on the wall in front of him and made a mental note. Putting down his pen, he tapped his fingers on the desk and jiggled his legs up and down nervously. He figured that Jared would still be mid-procedure upstairs. As soon as he appeared, he would get him to check him over. As the second hand moved around the clock, he fixated his eyes on it and tuned into every tick it made until he felt another tightening in his abdomen. They were getting more regular and stronger. Inhaling and then exhaling slowly, he tried to focus his mind away from the pain. Pressing down low onto his belly, he felt the position of the baby's head. “Damn it”. This was more than a few niggles now. This was more than Braxton Hicks. These were actual contractions. Actual contractions that were exerting an incredible force on the now fragile pouch. His time was up- he had pushed it too far.

He had to keep himself calm and controlled. He just needed to buy himself a little more time until Jared was done and had everything set up ready for him. He had to try and stop the contractions before they intensified further. Forcing himself up off the chair, he stumbled over to the drugs cupboard to get things ready to set up a drip to try and halt the contractions. As he opened the cupboard door, he was assaulted by a sharp pain in his middle which caught him off guard and knocked the wind out of him. When the pain subsided, he rubbed at his stomach and reached out to grab the bag of medication. Another sharp pain radiated through him which brought him to his knees. This time the pain felt different and sharp, almost searing. “Ah, fuck!”.

The pain carried on for longer than the others which brought tears to his eyes. Something was not right. It felt like there was something tearing inside of him, like the pouch was detaching completely. The baby needed to come out right now, it couldn't wait until the morning. It was useless now to try and slow down the contractions, the damage was already done. He inwardly cursed himself for not listening to Jared sooner. At nearly 35 weeks she would stand an excellent chance and he had surpassed all his goals and expectations. The steroids he had been taking should have helped mature her lungs. He was doubled over on the floor and his head was spinning and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t stand up. Crawling on the floor, he managed to prise his office door open a little. He needed to try and get some help.

The pain let off for about a second which gave him time to shout out for help but it came out as a faint sound. He managed to crawl a few more paces along the floor until he could see into the corridor and where Alona would hopefully be sitting behind the desk. The waiting room was thankfully empty as he had tended to all his patients for the day.

He tried again with the cry for help and found it was a little louder than last time but still failed in getting the blonde nurse's attention. Luckily his body did it for him as he practically screamed out in pain.

Alona was sat by the desk sorting out some paperwork when she heard the pained scream. She got to her feet and rounded the corner and saw her boss half slumped on the floor by his office. “Oh my God, Jensen! Jensen?”.

Jensen’s eyes started to flutter between open and closed. “Get Jared” he managed to say. “I tried to stop them-contractions-it's-too-late”.

“What? Oh God!” the blonde said, trying to stay calm despite the fact that she was panicking inside. She pressed her hand on the physician’s wrist to feel his pulse which was way too fast than it should have been. She could see that Jensen’s hands were clutched around his middle so she prised them away and lifted up his scrub top. Something was seriously wrong. She suspected that he was bleeding out inside. “Jensen? Stay with me. You've got to stay with me!”.

“Get Jared. Quick!” Jensen said as he gave up and just lay back on the floor.

Alona was straight on her feet as she frantically ran to the phone on Jensen’s desk and tried to reach Jared.


	20. Chapter 20

Jared was just finishing off the C-section and was about to start stitching his patient back up when the phone rang in the corner of the OR. Because he was scrubbed one of the nurses picked it up. 

“Dr Padalecki? It’s for you”.

“Can you take a message for me? I’m still scrubbed. How are you doing Mrs Kittle? He’s gorgeous by the way, can you hear him cry?” Jared said as he looked over to the newly delivered baby, then to the new parents and then back down at the incision where he was working a needle through the skin to close up.

The nurse looked toward Jared again. “It’s Alona. She sounds frantic. She says something is wrong with Jensen and he’s asking for you. It sounds serious”.

“What? Oh God. I need to go. Congratulations guys, I’m so sorry, I’ve got to go, Tracey can you finish up here for me please? Carry on with the 2-0 Vicryl. Thank you” the physician delegated as he ran out the OR leaving everyone looking shocked. He tore off his surgical apron and gloves and threw them in the clinical trash can. He flew down the corridor and took the stairs two steps at a time until he reached his boss’s office. He didn't understand, he had seen him less than 45 minutes ago and he seemed okay then “Jensen?”.

Jensen’s eyes opened and he reached out for Jared. “We need to go on this right now. You were right, I'm so sorry. I don't think we'll make it until tomorrow morning....”.

Jared nodded as he saw the condition of his boss who was curled up on the floor, sweat running down his face and face grimaced up in agony. “It's fine. This isn't going to be ideal, but we'll make it work. Alona? Can you bring over the ultrasound machine and blood pressure machine and ring upstairs to get them to free up the OR right now!”.

Alona dragged over the machines. “Wait, we can't just take him up into the OR like this! How the hell do we explain that we need to do an emergency C-section on our boss! It's going to be a few more hours until everyone upstairs goes home for the weekend. We can't wait that long! What are we going to do?”.

Jared checked Jensen’s vitals which confirmed that he was bleeding out. “I don't know. But what I do know is that we need to get him to the OR right now and get her out. We could lose them both and I'm not going to let that happen”.

“What do you want to do Jared? Focus, just focus!” Alona reasoned as she tried to keep calm and take control of the situation.

Jared took another look at his boyfriend who was now drifting in and out of consciousness. “Okay, I don’t want to waste anymore time here. It's too risky to move him upstairs, too many people around and we don't have time, period. Let’s go into exam 3. I did an extraction in there earlier so I know the room is fairly sterile. Alona, can you make sure that the waiting room is clear and get a gurney”.

“Sure thing”. Alona sprinted off.

Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand and tried to focus. “Please, you need to save her. Don’t worry about me, just save my baby. Save our daughter”.

Shaking his head, Jared composed himself and turned calm and professional. “No, I’m going to save both of you, okay? I made a promise and I always keep my promises. You need to hold on”. He smothered gel on Jensen’s stomach and hastily moved the ultrasound probe around until he saw what he needed to see. “Okay, the pouch has just started to come away and bleed out but the baby looks good for now, the placenta is intact, but we need to get her out and stop the bleeding before things get any worse. I think I’ll still have time to do the epidural. I’m going to give you some morphine for the pain to give me time to get the spinal in. Then we’ll deliver her. I know you are going to protest about the morphine but she's not going to be in there long enough for it to have an effect on her”. He quickly inserted a cannula into the back of the other man’s hand, followed by the morphine.

Alona reappeared with the gurney. “Ready?”.

“Do you think you can get up onto there?” Jared asked. “I’ve got you, hold onto me, okay. The morphine should start to kick in. We need to keep the cuff on your arm, your blood pressure is dropping because of the bleeding and the morphine may lower it even more”.

Jensen somehow managed to get onto the gurney and was whisked down the corridor to one of the rooms a few doors down.

Once in the room, Alona ran around trying to find a spare C-section pack and scrubbed up, adrenaline now kicking in, making her go full speed. 

Jared started to gather things up to administer the epidural. It had been a while but he had done some research and got some practice in after he found out about Jensen’s condition. 

Jensen moaned again in pain. He knew that he needed to be on his side for the epidural so he moved into position. Being hunched over on his side eased the pain somewhat. “Alona, I need you here whilst Jared gets scrubbed”.

Alona rushed over to Jensen and froze when she realised the severity of this situation and what they were about to do here. They were in a procedure room, not an OR and with limited resources and a very risky C-section with an unknown outcome. They were literally about to risk everything on this.

“Alona? Focus, okay, don’t think of this as Jensen, this is just another patient”. Jared's words weren’t just for the nurse, but were to try and reassure himself too. Reaching for the epidural needle, he located the optimal spot and pushed it into his spine.

Luckily the morphine was taking effect and Jensen barely flinched as Jared inserted the catheter and then the spinal epidural. When it was in place, he rolled back over onto his back. He looked up at both Jared and Alona. “Her name is Josie, she's my little joey because she's my kangaroo baby. That’s what I want to call her, please, make sure you call her that for me”.

Alona cut off Jensen's scrub top and prepped his abdomen and draped it.

Jared was poised ready with the scalpel. “Jensen? You're going to get to see her yourself. In just a few minutes time”. He pressed the blunt end of the scalpel onto his boyfriend's belly. “Can you feel that?”.

Jensen shook his head. “No. You've done it right like I knew you would. I trust you wholeheartedly, you can do this. Treat it like a placental abruption which you've done several times before. I'm ready, you can do it”.

The younger physician was about to make the incision when he stopped. “I- I need to check my entry point on the scan again”.

“Can't help you there. Numb- can't feel anything”. Jensen's eyes closed and the machine beeped to signal that his blood pressure was dropping even further.

Alona brought the ultrasound machine over and put a sterile cover on the probe.

Jared took hold of the probe and moved it around until he reacquainted himself with the position of the pouch. It was hard due to the amount of blood in the abdomen, so that was clouding his view. He found where he needed to cut but hesitated once more. “Alona? There's a lot of blood. I need suction and- and blood to transfuse with. At least 3 units. Crap, I don't even know his blood type. I can't believe I didn't even check that before now. Jensen? Help me out, come on”.

Jensen's eyes flicked open for a second. His voice was weak but he managed to get out his words. “A- neg”.

Nodding her understanding, Alona sprinted off once more and came back a minute or so later. “I could only find 2 bags of A Neg so I've brought some O Neg too”.

“Get ready with the suction, this could be messy”. Jared's heart was beating just as fast Jensen's right now.

“Do it. I trust you. Love you....” Jensen croaked out, his strength wavering by the second.

Not wanting to waste anymore time Jared smiled remorsefully. “I love you too”. He made the cut and held out his hand for the retractor and prised open the skin. There was too much blood to see anything so he signaled to the nurse for her to suction out as much as she could. When he could see the baby, he sighed a momentarily sigh of relief and pulled her out. She pinked up instantly after he cut the cord. “Take her”.

Alona was torn between elation, relief and shock but she took the newborn and rubbed her chest vigorously until she started to cry. Wrapping her up in a blanket, she put her into one of the incubators so that she could continue to help Jared.

Jared's relief was short lived as the bleeding continued and he couldn't see where it was coming from. When things like this usually went wrong, he always called Jensen in to help him out. But he couldn't in this situation and his boyfriend and patient was relying on him right now.

Jensen was fading into unconsciousness but he was fighting it with all of his mite and strength. He had to keep going for his baby. Once he heard his baby cry and he knew that she was safe, he stopped struggling and closed his eyes and zoned out as the machines went haywire and began to flatline.

“Alona? I need the crash cart, now!” Jared looked up at the ceiling and prayed. He wasn't a religious man but right now he prayed for divine intervention.


	21. Chapter 21

Jared stood under the shower and watched the blood pour off his body. He couldn't believe how much of it there was, running off him like a river of red. It just happened to be the blood of the man he loved very dearly. His eyes filled with tears and he closed his eyes and tilted his head back under the stream of water from the shower head as his mind replayed the events from the past half an hour. 

Alona came tearing back into the room with the crash cart as she watched helplessly as Jared battled to stem the flow of blood and control the bleed. She watched the flatline of her boss' heartbeat on the monitor where there should have been peaks and troughs indicating life. 

“Get the blood transfusion set up, now!” Jared shouted.

The blonde nurse remained unflappable on the outside but inside she was struggling to keep things together. “Are we going to shock him now?”.

“Not just yet, he's only been down for 30 seconds. I think I've nearly got it. Just give me a few more seconds”. Jared had pulled out the remains of the placenta and the pouch had actually come out whole. His heart sank when he saw where the bleeding was coming from- the splenic artery. This was way out of his domain. He needed a moment to try and figure out what to do, but Jensen didn't have a minute. If they didn't get his heart re-started soon then it would be game over. “Fuck. Alona, don't shock him, it's the splenic artery, it could make the bleeding worse. Just do chest compressions for now, get the blood pumping around his body and keep the transfusion going”. This is where they needed more hands in situations like this.

Alona ran over and began pumping her boss' chest. After just a few of them, she felt her arms starting to ache already but she knew that she had to keep going. “What are you going to do?”.

Jared put his head in his hands. “I don't know”. He was not a vascular surgeon and he could barely remember his stint in vascular because it wasn't something that had not interested him at the time so he hadn't paid that much attention to it. He was cursing himself now. Usually this would be fixed using a coil but he didn't have the resources or the knowledge. He had to rely on the only skill and resources he had on him. “Okay, I'm going to use the smallest needle and thread I can find and hope for the best. Come on Jensen, you've got to help me out too, you've got to hold on dammit”. He took the Vicryl and the needle and did what he could.

~~~~

Jared wasn't sure how long he had spent in the shower but he heard a knock on the door. The only person that it could be was Alona. He reached for a towel and hastily wrapped it around him and opened the door. “Yes?”.

“He's awake”. The blonde nurse tried to hide the smirk on her face when she studied Jared, wet and with only a towel to cover his modesty. “Well, now I know what Jensen sees in you”.

Jared rolled his eyes. “I'll be out in just a second. Alona? You did amazing in there, I couldn't have done it without you”.

“Likewise Dr Padalecki. He's going to be okay, isn't he?” the blonde asked as she lingered in the doorway. She felt emotionally and physically drained.

“I hope so. He's Jensen, he's stubborn and strong willed and- let me put some pants and a t-shirt on and I'll be in with him in two minutes. How's the baby?”. Jared held firm on the towel.

Alona smiled. “She's so damn cute. You can see Jensen in her for sure”. When she realised what the physician meant, she turned more serious. “Apgar is up, she's alert, breathing just fine without any oxygen or assistance. It's a miracle really, she's perfect. It's like she has no idea all the fuss she caused coming into the world.”.

“Well, anyway I'd better get some clothes on. There's hot water left if you need a shower too” Jared said as he studied the blonde woman's bloody scrubs.

“I'll take you up on that. I don't think Jensen wants to see me with half of his blood all over me” Alona patted her colleague on the arm and went off to the ladies showers.

Once he was fully clothed, Jared went to go and check on his boyfriend. He could still smell the blood but most of it had been cleaned up. 

“Am I dead? Is this heaven? Because no-one can look that beautiful without being an angel” the older physician smiled as he looked up at his lover. 

“Flattery won't get you anywhere Dr Ackles” Jared joked. He walked over and brushed his hand through Jensen's hair and checked his vitals on the machine which were looking stable at the moment. 

Jensen adjusted his position in the bed, wincing as he did so. He put his hand on his stomach and found that it was flat. He almost felt empty inside. It was a strange feeling to get used to. “Ow. Why does it feel like I've been punched in the chest and cut open with a chain saw?”.

Nothing got past the senior physician. “That would be the chest compressions and the defibrillator we used to restart your heart”.

“My heart stopped beating?” Jensen asked in surprise. He looked up at the bags of blood that were going through his IV and came to the realization. “I bled out didn't I?”.

Jared nodded his head solemnly. “The pouch had detached and torn away, putting a hole in your splenic artery. You lost so much blood. I'm not a vascular surgeon so I've do my best. There's a couple of small sutures in there so fingers crossed. We need to keep your blood pressure stable so you don't bleed out again”.

The older man closed his eyes to try and stop the flow of tears when he saw how drained his lover was and how scared he must have been. He felt guilty about putting him through it all. “I'm sorry. Sorry I didn't listen to you sooner. Sorry that I dragged you into this.....”. He stopped when he heard his baby cry. “I want to see her, I need to see her”. Groaning, he tried to sit up by pushing his arms down into the gurney he was still on.

“Okay, woah. Just relax. You can't go straining yourself like that. You'd go crazy if one of your patients did that straight after a C-section. Lie back and I'll bring her to you”. Jared had been so wrapped up in saving his boss' life, he had almost forgotten about the baby and not had a chance to look at her properly yet. He noted that Alona had already weighed her and written down all the observations on her chart. As he went to the incubator, he caught his first proper glimpse of her. As he saw her, all of his anxiety ebbed away and he couldn't be mad at Jensen at all. She was still swaddled in a blanket so he scooped her up into his arms. She looked tiny in his huge hands but she was a good weight considering she was early. Alona was right, she was beautiful and had the same sparkle in her eyes as her father did.

“Jared? Bring her to me” the new father asked anxiously. He was starting to get impatient now. When he saw his boyfriend just staring at her he started to panic. “Is she okay?”.

Jared nodded. “She's more than okay. She's perfect, absolutely perfect”. He passed her over to her father. “5 pounds and 4.5 ounces. A good weight for nearly 35 weeks. If you had gone to term she probably would have been at least 7 pounds or more”.

Jensen wept as he held his baby- the baby that he had sacrificed so much for, including his own life. As he held her in his arms, nothing else mattered now and he would literally die for her all over again. “Wow, she's really mine. Hey beautiful, I can't believe you were inside me all that time, causing me all that trouble, eh? I'm your daddy. But you're a very lucky girl because you also have another daddy who is pretty awesome and was right about wanting to get you out sooner”. He mouthed another 'I'm sorry'.

Smiling at the sentiment, Jared reached out and let the baby girl clench her tiny fist over his finger. “I don't think it would have made any difference if we had delivered her earlier when I suggested. The outcome might have been the same, who knows? And right now, who cares? I don't regret helping you at all”.

“Man, this gurney is really uncomfortable. These poor patients who have to tolerate them”. As the spinal and pain killers wore off and the feeling came back in his legs, Jensen started to feel the discomfort of lying on something hard.

“We'll bring a bed down from upstairs for you. There's still a couple of patient's post delivery up there so we'll keep you down here out of the way for the weekend and then maybe get you home before Monday. Beachside is covering our patient's for the weekend so basically I can give you both my undivided attention and there'll be no-one to disturb us”. The younger man had thought of everything. “And I know that you're not too keen on her but I've asked Dr Burnell to come in and cover for you for the next month whilst you recover”.

“The next month? Are you kidding me? I'll be fine in a week” Jensen said in exasperation. He looked down at his daughter and counted her fingers and toes almost looking for something wrong because he couldn't believe that she had come out so perfect.

Jared scoffed. “A week? You really think that you'll be up and about and back in work in a week? Come on, you know how long it takes for people to recover from a C-section- it's major surgery and yours was more major than any of them. You are going to be off for at least a month and you know it. I've had to transfuse half of your blood volume back into you and you've got stitches inside and out holding you back together. Your heart stopped and we probably cracked a few ribs from trying to get it going again. You are not going to bounce back from this in a week”.

Jensen exhaled loudly, wincing at the pain as he did so. His eyes never left his daughter's face. “Yeah, okay. You're right. I guess I can be off for a month if it means that I get to spend my time with this little future heart breaker. She's not even an hour old yet and she's already got me wrapped around her little finger. I can't say no to her!”.

The younger man was relieved that his boyfriend was actually willing to listen to medical advice for a change. “So, you already picked out her name, right?”.

“Kind of. It's been a work in progress but I think I have it all figured out now”. Jensen had played around with the names in his head and it felt right, finally. Looking up, he signaled to the door. “Tell Alona to stop lingering outside and get her ass in her”.

Jared got up to open the door and let the blonde nurse in. “Someone is feeling better”.

“Were you the one who was bench pressing on my chest then?” Jensen asked his nurse. When she nodded her head he looked impressed. “Nice! Stronger than you look”.

“I'd beat you in an arm wrestle any day Ackles. Sorry if I got your ribs though. It obviously worked. Anyway, I brought her in some formula, I figured that you didn't have anything with you and she's probably hungry right about now”. The blonde passed her boss the bottle of formula.

Jensen took it and shook the bottle. He uncovered the blanket and smiled at the tag around her ankle. Her name had been written on it as Josie. Alona had remembered what he had said. “Are you hungry Josephine Beth?”.

“Beth? Wait, that's my middle name. How the hell did you find that out!” Alona looked dumbfounded but elated at the same time.

“Your original application form when you applied for this job. I found it when I was sorting out my paperwork ready for the inspection a few weeks ago. Thought it was kinda cute you know”. Jensen smirked as he brought the bottle up to his daughter's mouth and watched in delight as she took it and began to feed. “Besides, you kinda helped bring her into the world, right?”

Alona was extremely humbled and given all the pent emotions from the afternoon's antics, she was close to tears. “I should really kick your butt for that, but......thank you. So, I need to document her name. Josephine Beth Ackles then?”.

“No. Ackles-Padalecki. If, that's okay with you?”. The senior physician looked over at his boyfriend with a hopeful expression on his face.

Jared beamed back and leaned in to seal his answer with a kiss on the lips.

“I take that as a resounding yes then”. The new father looked at the two other faces in the room and could see the emotion on their faces. “Come on, I'm meant to be the emotional one here, I just had a baby so I'm the only one who's allowed to be hormonal here”.

“It's been a long day. I'm going to leave the two of you to it. I'll drop in and check up on you tomorrow”. Alona took one last look at the baby and then left them to it.

The baby had fallen asleep in her father's arms after filling her belly with food so Jensen swaddled her back up in the blanket and rocked her gently. “She's not even got any clothes. We've got nothing here for her”.

The younger man reached out and took the sleeping baby and put her back into the incubator. “I'll swing by the apartment to get some things. She'll be fine for a bit until I get back. I don't want you reaching over and trying to pick her up. I won't be long. Rest up and try to get some sleep too and wait for the rest of the blood, saline and meds to go through”.

“I'm pretty tired so I'm not going to argue with that. I feel like I've gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson”. He couldn't fight the tiredness anymore so he succumbed to sleep.

 

\--------------------------------------

Jared opened the door to the apartment and flicked on the lights. Everything was how they had left it that morning, including the dirty plates in the sink. He smiled when he saw the baby book on the kitchen that Jensen had been reading. Despite being an expert on the subject he still wanted to brush up on his knowledge. As he walked into the nursery and started to go through the drawers, he rolled his eyes when he realised that his boyfriend had re-arranged things despite him telling him that he should be resting instead. As he continued to go through the drawers, he noticed a pile of clothes that had been neatly folded on top of the changing table. He realised that Jensen must have put them there and he presumed that's what he wanted to bring the baby home in. Next to the clothes there was a stuffed owl which he hadn't noticed before. Suddenly, he was overcome with emotion and tears started to fall down his face uncontrollably which brought him to his knees and sobbed as he sat on the floor thinking about how close he had come to losing everything. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Jensen awoke the next morning, it took him a little while to realise where he was and what had happened. He had remembered snippets from last night- Jared moving him into a proper bed and bringing him a few things in from home. His eyes squinted as they tried to adjust to the light. He could just about make out the time on the clock on the wall. It was nearly 11am, he hadn't slept in until 11am since he was in college and after a heavy night out. He looked over to find Jared cradling his daughter in his arms. “Did you drug me last night or something?”. His head felt groggy.

“Morning sleepy head” Jared replied as he continued to rock the baby. “As a matter of fact, I did. Just some more morphine for the pain and something to stabilize your blood pressure.”.

“Yeah, that ought to do it. I think I slept through. The first time in months actually. I didn't have a baby kicking me throughout the night and making pee ten times, so I guess that helped too. He looked down at his catheter in disgust. Speaking of which, how is she?”. Jensen inhaled deeply as he made an effort to sit himself up in the bed.

“She's great. She's bathed, diapered, clothed and just finished off a bottle. She only woke twice during the night about 1.20am and again at 4.15am and then I was awake just before 7am and she woke up shortly afterwards”. I think she wants cuddles with her daddy now. She has been waiting patiently. Jared handed over the baby to his boyfriend.

Jensen took her and shushed softly when she started to stir. He kept his voice down low so that he wouldn't wake her up. “I'm sorry, I didn't hear her wake up”. Although he still felt the effects of the medication he was surprisingly refreshed, whereas the other man looked tired. 

“That was the whole point, I drugged you up good and proper! Anyway, you must be famished. I'll run across to the diner and get you something to eat, whatever you fancy. Burrito? Apple fritter?” the younger man offered.

Recoiling his face in disgust, Jensen surprisingly declined. “God no, actually. I think I ate enough of those when I was pregnant to last a lifetime. I'm done with those now. I don't know, maybe a turkey sandwich on wholemeal and some potato chips. Me and little Josie here have got some catching up to do haven't we sweetheart”.

The way his lover was with the baby was heartwarming and melted his heart. There was a look on his face that went further than just love. It was then in that moment he could understand everything, understand how he had risked his life for her, how he had gotten in too deep and how it had become way more than just an experiment. “Anything else you want whilst I'm out?”.

“No. I've got everything that I need right here”. Jensen smiled as he noticed the soft flannel romper that she was wearing, the one that he had put to one side, the one that he had wanted her to wear. Jared was pretty darn awesome.

 

“Ow!” Jensen complained as Jared pulled his dressing off to take a look.

It had been a few days and the younger physician had decided that his boyfriend was well enough to go home, so they left the clinic on the Sunday evening as planned. Jared had been back in work for a day already. “Quit being a baby, I need to check your wound, see how it's healing”.

“I already checked it earlier. It's healing just fine. These damn stitches should be okay to take out in a week. They are pulling like hell”. Jensen frowned as he stuck the dressing back down over the incision site.

“That's the whole point of stitches. So anyway, in answer to your earlier question, I told her the truth!”. Jared was trying to decipher the instructions on the back of a microwavable meal. It wasn't ideal but he hadn't had two minutes spare to go grocery shopping let alone cook up something for them. 

Jensen's face was a picture. “You told Dr Burnell that I had a baby which is why I'm off for a whole month!”.

“Yeah” the younger man confirmed. “I told her that the surrogate mom you hired had your baby a month earlier than scheduled which caught you out and you're staying at home to take care of her and get her settled in”. He put down the food and sat down on the couch next to his boyfriend.

“And she bought it without too many questions?” Jensen asked suspiciously. He knew the woman too much to know that she wouldn't just accept that explanation.

“Yes, she did actually. She was a little shocked that you had decided to have a baby at this stage in your career and she didn't have you down for wanting a baby blah blah blah, but yeah, she bought it. Why shouldn't she?” the younger physician said.

“Because...Nevermind. I don't even care. Look at her, she's beautiful, so beautiful and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'm thinking next time, maybe adjust the location of the pouch so that it can sustain a pregnancy a little longer?” the older man suggested. When he saw the look of horror on his boyfriend's face, he laughed. “I'm joking”.

“No, jokes are meant to be funny and that was not funny. You were this close to dy-” Jared stopped and shuddered at the thought. “Quit stalling, I need to check you over”. He grabbed the blood pressure cuff and strapped it on the other man's arm and watched the figures on the screen. He had brought the machine home with him along with a small portable ultrasound machine so he could monitor Jensen's condition. “Blood pressure and pulse is normal”.

Rolling his eyes, Jensen gave him a 'duh' look. “I know. I've been so bored I've checked my blood pressure about a million times today. My temperature is also normal. Yeah, I've been that bored”.

“How's she doing?” Jared asked as he looked over at the sleeping baby in the crib besides the couch. 

“Absolutely perfect. I've literally not taken my eyes off her. She is so good. She only cries when she's hungry, like me. She looked at me earlier, I mean, really looked up at me with her gorgeous eyes and I think she knew who I was”. The new father looked at his baby and his smile intensified. When she stirred, he put his hand on her tummy and made a shushing sound to placate her. “I almost miss her being inside me. I would do it again in a heartbeat”. He winced at the stitches as he leant over and hissed inwardly.

Jared smiled at the interaction. “Lie back, I want to do a scan to see how the splenic artery looks and see if there's any free fluid in your abdomen”.

Jensen did as he was told and lifted up his t-shirt. He looked at the screen in front of him. It was strange not seeing the outline of his baby on the screen, but smiled again when he realised that she was safe and by his side. “Try a doppler trace”.

The younger physician looked up at his boss. “Sssh. Try and be the patient, okay?”. He turned his attention back to the ultrasound screen. As it was a portable machine, the images weren't as clear as the other machines but it was giving him enough detail for what he wanted to see. “It looks like the stitches have held firm and there's no leak of blood through the artery”. He sighed with relief.

“Excellent, I can start walking around more now!” Jensen said as he pushed the probe off of him and sat up before being pushed back down by the other man.

“Not so fast! Do you even know how to take it easy? You're still stitched up inside and out. Just relax for now. Josie is probably due a feed soon, so I'll make her up some formula and make us some food” Jared said as he handed over some paper towels for his boyfriend to wash off the gel.

Jensen rubbed his belly with the towels, careful to avoid the dressing over the stitches. “Great what have we got?”.

“Macaroni and cheese I think......sorry, I'll do a proper grocery shop soon. It's been a crazy few days”. Jared stroked Josie's hand and he got choked up when she grabbed onto his finger and held it tight. “Oh wow”.

“I know”. Jensen watched the interaction for a few seconds and then slowly sat himself up and grabbed his boyfriend's arm and gently tugged him towards him.

“What?” Jared asked as he turned his attention back to his boss and lover. Jensen just started back at him and smiled, his green eyes regaining the sparkle that they had lost recently.

Jensen inched closer and rested his forehead against the other man's head. “Thank you so much for everything that you have done for us. I love you Dr Padalecki”.

Jared ran his fingers through the older man's hair and inhaled at the fresh scent of shampoo. “I love you too”. He kissed him on the lips, softly, tenderly and carefully at first as if scared of hurting him.

“I'm not going to break Jared” Jensen whispered, interrupting the kiss for just a second. “Plus you've got me on so many pain killers I'm immune to any sort of pain right now”.

Intensifying the kiss, Jared stepped it up a notch as he caressed his lover relishing in how good it felt to be close to him again like this. He moaned when he realised that they couldn't go too far with this just yet. “We need to wait a little longer. Can't take the risk”.

Jensen moaned too when they pulled away from each other. “I know”.

Clearing his throat loudly and getting up off the couch, Jared headed over to the kitchen area to distract himself as he re-read the instructions on the back of the packet.

“Probably for the best. I'm like a bloated up puffer fish right now. I was hoping to have lost a little of the baby weight by now” Jensen said as he looked down on himself and prodded his stomach.

“It will go down once you start walking around again. It's fine anyway because you don't want to lose too much weight too quickly because you were so big last week in work....I mean....people need to believe that you've been unwell and on steroids....anyway I think I just proved to you that I still very much find you sexy as hell”. Jared stabbed the packaging vigorously with a fork one too many times before putting the meal into the microwave. “It's going to be ready in 7 minutes....apparently”.

“Okay, I'm going to go and wash my hands. I'll be back” Jensen said as he headed off to the bathroom.

As the older man left the room, Josie began to stir and Jared was over in a second and scooped her up into his arms. “Hey sweetie, I'm guessing that you are hungry too. Papa will get you some food right now. Daddy will be back in just a minute too”. 

Jensen stood in the doorway and watched the interaction between his boyfriend and his daughter and smiled. Right now he really was the luckiest guy in the whole wide world.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the end of this fic, which I am deeply saddened by :-(. It's essentially 2 chapters in one lengthy one. Hope you all enjoy and thanks for sticking with me. :-) x

PART A

 

Jensen had been resting for over a week now and his stitches had been taken out. He had been bored out of his mind and had decided to venture into the clinic, hopefully under the radar of everyone just to sneakily check up on the running of things.

 

As he pushed the stroller through the entrance, Alona saw him immediately and almost squealed with delight, running up to him and squeezing him so tight he squeaked with pain.

 

“Oh crap, I forgot!” Alona said. She lowered the tone of her voice. “How are the ribs?”.

 

“Re-fractured now I think!” Jensen said as he rubbed his stomach. When he saw the look of horror on his nurse's face, he smirked. “It's fine. I'm doing fine”.

 

Alona peered into the stroller and cooed over the newborn. “Oh my, she's grown so much in a week!”.

 

Jensen nodded. “Yeah, she's regained her birth weight and then some. Would you like a cuddle?”.

 

The blonde nurse didn't need to think about the answer as she scooped her up and cradled her in her arms. “Hey Josie”.

 

“Great, keep her for like 10 minutes, okay?” Jensen said as he backed away.

 

“Woah! Wait, where are you going?” Alona shouted back. “Jensen?!”.

 

“I need coffee. I've missed coffee. I'm getting coffee and some peace and quiet for like a few minutes. And a bathroom break too without being disturbed. Thank you Alona!” the senior physician said as he continued to back away down the corridor.

 

Alona swaddled the sleeping baby in her arms and sat down behind the nurse's station desk just as Jared appeared.

 

“Can you please book Mrs Morgan in for another appointment in 2 weeks time please?” the physician said before he saw the baby in Alona's arms. “Wait, is that, is that Josie?” he asked as he recognized the romper suit that he had put on her this morning. “Is Jensen here?”.

 

“Yeah” the blonde replied as she took the folder and tapped something in on the computer with one of her hands that she had managed to free up. “He's gone to get coffee or something”.

 

Jared shook his head with disbelief. “He's unbelievable. He's been off bed rest for all of 5 minutes and he's rushing around already. Do you want me to take her?”.

 

“No way, you're not depriving me of cuddle time. You have her all the time. Us girls have got to stick together, this is girl time!” Alona said as she surveyed the dusky pink rompersuit with owls on it. “Maybe we should take you shopping huh sweetie?”.

 

“What's wrong with what she's wearing? Jensen chose it!” Jared protested.

 

“Because daddy has an owl obsession it seems. And these owls look too angry. She needs pretty frilly dresses and lace. Lace is bang on trend right now. Maybe some little shoes too!” Alona said as she traced her fingers along the newborn.

 

“She's 10 days old!” Jared argued.

 

“Perfect then. Got to get her started early on!”. The blonde saw her boss come marching down the corridor with the biggest cup of coffee possible.

 

Jared folded his arms across his chest.

 

Jensen ducked his head down when he saw that he was busted. “Crap!”.

 

To make matters worse, Dr Burnell appeared from one of the consulting rooms at the same time.

 

“Double crap” Jensen muttered under his breath.

 

“Checking up on us, eh Dr Ackles?” the feisty doctor said. She saw the baby in the nurse's arms and went over to check her out. “I'm guessing this is your little bundle of joy?”.

 

“Josie. Yes” Jensen said with gritted teeth.

 

“Wow, she really does look like you” Dr Burnell said.

 

Jensen bit his lip. “Because she is mine!”.

 

Dr Burnell looked amused. “Someone's grumpy. Sleep deprivation? I have to say that tending to a newborn has really gotten your weight down!”.

 

“Hopefully you're not scaring away too many of my patients Sarah. I'll be back by the end of the month!” the older physician said as he held out his arms to take his daughter back.

 

“Thank you for covering for you at such short notice, again” the female physician sing songed. “You're welcome Dr Ackles”.

 

Despite their hostile banter, Jensen was eternally grateful. “Thank you Sarah”.

 

The female physician smiled. “She's really beautiful. Take all the time you need Jensen, I'll keep things running here for you for as long as you need me to” she said sincerely.

 

Jensen nodded his appreciation, “That means a lot”.

 

Jared make their excuses to leave and ushered his boyfriend into his office. “What are you doing here? You should still be taking it easy, not rushing around”.

 

“I was bored, I missed you and wanted to check up on things here” Jensen said as walked around the expanse of the office. He winced and touched the underside of his belly. When the other man moved his hand over to check, he batted it away. “It's fine. Just pulling a little that's all”.

 

“I think I've proven my point” the younger physician said.

 

“Yes, fine okay”. Jensen sighed and tried to hide the wince that he made as he felt a pull in his stomach. “I just needed a little bit of adult company that's all. I mean, Josie is just so beautiful and perfect and she's so damn good too. I love her so much and I'd do anything for her, you know that, but I just needed some adult interaction for a little while”.

 

Jared smiled. “I know. How about I take tomorrow off and we'll go somewhere for the day, just the the three of us, nothing too strenuous because you're still healing”.

 

“And leave Alona alone with Dr Burnell? Jeez, she'll love that!” the older physician quipped.

 

As if on cue, the blonde nurse appeared with the newborn and handed her over to Jensen at arm's length. “You can have her back now. Diaper change I believe” she said as she wrinkled her nose.

 

Jensen shrugged his shoulders. “Diaper bag is in the stroller, knock yourself out!” he smirked.

 

Alona shook her head. “Nuh uh....auntie Alona does the cuddles and fashion advice. I definitely didn't sign up for the diaper changes!”.

 

Jared laughed as he took Jensen's daughter from her. “I'll take care of it, you finish your coffee”.

 

“Thank you. Oh and yes I'd love to spend the day with you tomorrow Jared” Jensen said as he smiled back at his boyfriend. He was so happy and grateful at how hands on he was with his daughter and how he had fulfilled his promise of being a good father to her and supporting them both. He could see the look of love and admiration in his eyes as he looked at her.

 

“It's a date then Dr Ackles. Hey Josie? You get two daddies looking after you tomorrow. How about that?” Jared said sweetly to the newborn as he cradled her in his hands. She looked tiny in comparison to his large muscly arms. “Oh you are so cute, but jeez, you stink baby girl. Let's get you all changed and into a fresh diaper”. He grabbed the diaper bag and headed into the baby changing room.

 

Alona looked put out. “Wait? You two are leaving me with that evil whore tomorrow?”.

 

Jensen sipped at his coffee, the first cup since Josie had been born. It tasted like heaven on earth. “Mmmm. Oh yes, liquid gold, how I have missed you!”. He nearly forgot that his nurse had been talking to him. “Ah, she's really not that bad you know. She actually speaks very highly of you. She just has an unfortunate manner about her sometimes. It's just for a day. Besides, I need someone here to keep an eye on her for me”.

 

Huffing loudly, Alona perked up again. “Fine. But I get to come baby shopping with you next time for clothes, okay? Enough with the owl romper suits and onesies”.

 

“What's wrong with owls?” Jensen asked indignantly.

 

“Nothing is wrong with owls. I just think Josie needs to step up her style that's all. I saw this adorable pinstripe dress in Baby Gap the other day that she'll look so cute in” the blonde mused.

 

“Pinstripe? She's 2 weeks old”. Jensen said amusedly.

 

“And?” Alona scoffed.

 

Jensen shook his head and laughed. He pulled out his wallet and a wad of notes and handed them over to his nurse. “Go crazy. She deserves the best”.

 

“Ah! Amazing! You won't be disappointed, I swear!” Alona quickly flicked through the wad of money to check what sort of budget she was dealing with. “Enough for a whole Spring and Summer wardrobe, perfect. I've given up trying to get you fashionable so may as well get started on your daughter”.

 

“Hey? What's wrong with what I'm wearing?!” Jensen asked as he looked down on himself.

 

“Really? How long have you had that sweater? And with cream coloured chino's? Dude, seriously” Alona joked before turning serious. “Okay, I know this is maybe crossing the line of our inter-professional working relationship....but.....I'm so glad that you're okay and that you didn't die. I was so scared that we had lost you Jensen”.

 

Before Jensen knew what was happening, the blonde woman threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. “Hey, it's okay, you didn't. You and Jared did amazing and went above and beyond any expectations. You both saved mine and Josie's life. I'm literally never, ever going to be able to repay you for what you've both done. You risked everything to help me”.

 

“I'd do it again in a heartbeat......wait, you're not planning on doing this again anytime soon, right?” Alona asked, hairs standing up on her arms at the thought of it.

 

“Hell no!” Jared said as he walked back in with the baby in his arms. He handed her back over to her father.

 

“No, definitely not. I've got everything I need right here. Hey beautiful!” Jensen cooed at his daughter. “Although, you know, I have learnt from a few things, so I can be better prepared for next time. I mean, I wouldn't need to make too many tweaks to it” he said deadpan. When he saw the look of horror on the other two people's faces, he laughed. “No. I'm done. I can't believe what I put my women through. They are incredible to say the least”.

 

Jared and Alona both sighed with relief simultaneously.

 

“But, you know, Jared is pretty fit and healthy, he could be a good candidate for the second trial” the older man said jokingly again.

 

“No, no, no, no, no!” Jared shook his head violently when Alona looked at him inquisitively. “Don't you even think about it!”.

 

“Ha. Well, I've had my fun here anyway. I'm going to get little Miss Josie home and fed in time for her nap time. We are on a strict schedule aren't we sweetheart?” Jensen said as he put her back down in her stroller and tucked her in with the muslin blanket. “I'll see you later Dr Padalecki”. He smiled at Alona and mouthed a 'thank you' and then gave his boyfriend a kiss, before he left them to it.

 

 

PART B

 

4 weeks later-

 

“I just don't know how I'm going to cope, I'm struggling already and we've not even started the process yet” the woman said.

 

Jensen smiled sympathetically. “I know, I understand. Taking all these hormones has a massive effect on you. It's like a year's worth of PMT all in one go. You don't know whether to laugh, cry, shout at people or hug them. Headaches, irritability.....once we get the eggs that we need then we can start the process . It will be a long, tough journey, but I'll help you through it and we'll get there together”.

 

The anxious woman felt an empathetic connection to her physician, almost like he knew exactly what she was going through first hand. “Thank you”.

 

“Just hang on a little longer” Jensen reassured his patient. When the consultation ended, he sat back in his chair in his office and picked up the photograph of his daughter that was in a frame on his desk. He smiled. There was a knock on his door and he summoned for them to come in.

 

Jared walked in and saw his boyfriend looking at the photograph. “She's super cute, right? I mean, I know that we are biased”.

 

Jensen laughed. “Yeah, she is super cute, maybe not so much when she woke me up at 3am to clean her up”.

 

“You're missing her like crazy though, right? Have you been okay?” Jared asked his boyfriend. It was his first day back and he knew how hard it had been for him to leave his baby with someone else this morning.

 

“Yeah, I do. This is the longest I've been apart from her ever”. Jensen kept his eye on the photograph of her on his desk. It was the worst feeling ever, putting his trust in a complete stranger to look after the thing that was the most precious to him.

 

“Nancy will look after her. Besides, your last patient is booked at 2pm so you can have an early finish and go home and see her” Jared reasoned.

 

Jensen's face lit up at the prospect of that. “Is Sarah still here?”.

 

“Yeah, she's just finishing up some paperwork. Most of the stuff has been handed over to me, she just wants to see you for a few things before she leaves. So, I'll catch you later” the younger physician smiled.

 

Jensen sighed and got up from his desk. He needed coffee. Before he could leave his office, Dr Burnell met him halfway with a pile of notes. “Ah, I was just coming to find you”.

 

“Beat you to it. Here's the rest of the files for your patients. Glad to be back?” the other physician asked as she narrowed her eyes.

 

“Yes. I can't wait to get stuck back into work”. Jensen put his hand on his now flat again stomach and felt the incision through his scrub top. It was still a tad sore which was to be expected, but it was still healing.

 

“Well, we're all glad that you're better too. I mean you've not been yourself for months now, so welcome back. Obviously, if you get taken ill again, you know where I am”.

 

“Thank you Sarah, once again. Is there anything else?” Jensen could sense that she wasn't done yet.

 

Dr Burnell sighed and shut the door to the office to give them some privacy. “I know, Jensen. I know everything”.

 

Jensen's ears pricked up. “Wh-what?”.

 

“That you had a baby”. The brunette paced around the office.

 

“Yes, with a surrogate-” Jensen began.

 

“I read your notes. They are remarkable Jensen. Groundbreaking”.

 

“You, you did what? They are locked up? They were private!” Jensen said, fuming, as he went into the top drawer of his desk and found his notebook just as he had left it.

 

“I put it back exactly how I found it. And it's nothing that a bobby pin can't open anyway”.

 

“How long have you known for?” Jensen responded meekly as he slumped down in his chair.

 

Sarah sat on the edge of the desk and ran her fingers through her hair. “In hindsight now it couldn't have been more obvious. I've known you for years Jensen, followed your work. You are brilliant and I'm envious of that. I just thought that there was something different about you last time that I saw you. Then Jared called me up to ask me to cover for you last minute for a month. I didn't think much of it. Plus you got fat, then you go off and come back with a baby and regained your figure. Then I thought back to the few times that I had seen you over the past few months and I got suspicious, especially because I knew that it was something you had been looking into with cultivating artificial uteruses. I was trying to tidy up your desk a few weeks ago, it was in a hell of a mess. I noticed the notebook in the drawer and I got curious so I read it. As first I thought that it was a joke. But then I knew that if anyone could do it, you could. I'm guessing Jared knew?”.

 

Jensen just nodded solemnely. “Not at first. I did it all myself. I didn't tell him until I reached 24 weeks. It wasn't all plain sailing you know. The pouch detached, I bled out and nearly died. Jared and Alona saved me”.

 

“Dear God Jensen, I could have helped” Dr Burnell said as she ran her hand over her forehead.

 

“So, now you know. What are you going to do about it? Report me and Jared to the FDA? To the medical board? Or will you go to the media and make me and my daughter into a freak show? Either way I don't care, do what you want” Jensen said as he pulled out the notebook from the drawer and handed it to the other physician.

 

Sarah picked it up and twiddled her fingers over the cover. “I would never do that to you. But seriously, do you know what you could do with this? This is a game changer in fertility for woman and....well anyone! You can't just let this go, surely. You've worked so hard for this. Someone else is bound to get to where you are in a few years and they will take all the credit for it, but you got there first”.

 

“Let them. I don't care. Maybe, sometime in the future I'll go through the proper channels, get FDA approval and start the ball rolling on some experimental procedures, but for now, I'm just grateful that I've got a beautiful baby girl. So please, just think about her before you do anything drastic”. Jensen picked up the photograph on his desk again and traced his finger around her face.

 

Dr Burnell got to her feet and located a metal bowl from one of the procedure cupboards and put it down on the desk. She tossed the notebook in and pulled out a lighter from her jacket pocket.

 

“You smoke?” Jensen asked, in shock. “You know that's bad for you, right?”.

 

“No shit Sherlock. Why do you think my mouth always smells minty fresh? It's to cover up the smell”. She flicked the lighter and the flame appeared. “What do you want me to do?”.

 

Jensen looked into her eyes. “How do I know that you haven't made copies?” he said jokingly.

 

“You don't”. Dr Burnell hovered the naked flame from the lighter over the notebook.

 

“Burn them” Jensen said as he watched the lighter drop and ignite the notebook, engulfing it in flames. He saw the disappointment in the other woman's eyes and knew that she was going to keep quiet. He felt a pang of sadness as he watched his hard work literally go up in flames. None of that mattered anymore. He didn't want or need the fame or glory. “So, what now then?”.

 

Dr Burnell smiled. “I'm doing a few shifts in Beachside and then I'm off to Hawaii for 2 weeks, so think of me on a beach whilst you're knee deep in dirty diapers”.

 

Jensen laughed as he got to his feet. He extended out of his hand to her which she took and shook. “I'm sure we'll meet up again soon”.

 

“Yeah, you miss me when [I](mailto:I@m)'m gone” the female physician said jokingly.

 

“Like a hole in the head” Jensen retorted.

 

“Ha. For old time's sake?” the woman asked, as she extended out her hand.

 

Jensen took her hand and shook it. “Thank you for everything Sarah. I truly mean that”.

 

Sarah just bowed her head and headed out of the office. As Jensen watched her go, he sighed and exhaled loudly as his boyfriend walked in through the door.

 

Jared raised his hand to bid the other physician farewell and was about to say something when he saw the smouldering notebook in the metal bowl on the desk. “What the hell? Jensen? Is that?” Does she?”.

 

“Are you actually going to finish any of your sentences, or do I have to guess?” Jensen asked, with a smirk on his face. When the other man just stood there with a confused look on his face, he continued. “She found out. She found my notebook, she knows every detail about the experiment. Well, only the things that I wrote down anyway. She's not read the whole thing, so my notes in here are somewhat useless in that respect. Before you say anything, it was her idea to burn it”.

 

“Crap. We were so close too” Jared said as he started a fresh wave of freak out. “Supposing she goes to the FDA?”.

 

“She won't. I know her. If she was going to, then she would have done it by now. Besides, she doesn't have any tangible proof, like I said, I didn't write everything down in there so she can't really connect it to me even she did make a copy of it. Josie's paperwork is all finalised and legal so we can relax there too. She was more disappointed in me that I didn't want to publicize it and go forth with a major medical breakthrough in embryology.

 

Jared relaxed. Jensen knew the woman a lot more than him and he obviously trusted her. If he was happy about it, then so was he. “Okay. I'm glad this is over”.

 

“Yeah, me too”. Jensen took the metal bowl and put it in the sink and run it under the cold water.

 

“No more experiments, no more secrets” the younger physician said as he watched the ash from the notebook run down the sink hole.

 

Jensen smiled. “Absolutely. And besides, do you really think I wouldn't have made copies? In a lot more detail than what was in that poxy notebook?”.

 

Jared nearly choked on his own saliva. “What? That's a joke, right? Where are they Jensen?”.

 

The older physician put his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him in tight. “That's strictly confidential”.

 

“Please, you're not going to do this again are you? I can't lose you Jensen. I can't go through that again” Jared pleaded.

 

“No, I'm not going to, I promise Jared. I swear. It's you, me and Josie. Just the three of us. I'm not going to ruin something this good”. Jensen paused as a thought occurred to him. “Damn it. This was not how I wanted to do this. I'm not prepared, I don't even have anything to give you......”.

 

Jared looked confused again. “What are you going on about?”.

 

“Josephine Beth Ackles-Padalecki. I want us to both share her last name. I mean, officially. Jared? Will you marry me?” Jensen asked. Whilst he waited for Jared to register the question, he reached for the first thing he could find on his desk; an elastic band and twisted it around until it was small enough to fit over a finger. “Like I said, it wasn't meant to happen like this, I don't even have a ring”.

 

Jared took the elastic band and wrapped it around his ring finger and leant over to kiss is now fiance. “It fits”.

 

Jensen looked nervous. “Does that mean you say yes?”.

 

“Of course I'm saying yes. Yes, I'll marry you. Yes I'll spend the rest of my life with you. I'm in this for the long haul. The three of us, forever” Jared said as he kissed him once again.

 

“I love you Jared” Jensen said happily.

 

“I love you too” Jared replied.

 

The End.

 

 

 

 


End file.
